The Chase
by Em Dixon
Summary: It didn't matter how much information Ozai was not willing to give up about Ursa, Zuko would find other ways. Three years later, he hoped that finally, maybe, this time, his search could end.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

In which there is sneaking, a Fire Nation forest, and some banter (which is a fun word, by the way). I'm also experimenting with chapter length, so I would very much like your opinion. I don't want this massive block of text, which can be tiresome. Also, any comments on content are quite welcome!

_Thank you to those who've reviewed so far! I have the whole story written already, so there's no need to worry about updates. I just now figured out I can edit documents on here (don't worry, I'm already kicking myself *eyeroll*), so **Lilako**, I'm fixing the issue with the author's note running into the story. Now it can actually look like it does on my Word doc._

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><p>Zuko followed the bounty hunter, Inara, up the tree, then reached a hand down for Katara. The night was pitch black, and clad in black, with their faces covered, the three intruders could barely be seen.<p>

"Just up ahead there is the prison," Inara whispered, pointing toward a squat building surrounded by armed guards. "The wall's solid stone, a foot thick. Guards pass this spot once every minute." Inara began crouch walking across the thick branches, taking them to a point slightly further ahead.

"Hau said you had a map," Zuko whispered, referring to his Chief of Staff, Minister Hau, keeping his good side to her. She had accepted the job to scout out the high security prison from Hau. She had no idea the two "bounty hunters" she would be working with were the Fire Lord himself and the Southern Water Tribe's Ambasssador and part-time Foreign Relations Advisor to the Fire Lord.

"I do have a map, but I wouldn't dare bring it with me." Her voice was slightly mocking as she winked at him. "If you need a chance to rest, or you miss the gap in the guards, there's a shaded spot where that tree hangs over."

Katara was clutching the back of Zuko's shirt, pointing toward the oncoming patrol. "We have company."

Inara nodded and took them higher in the tree. Zuko scaled after her effortlessly, but watched Katara struggle. He wanted her along for combat and moral support, but if she couldn't get over the wall in time, it could end up costing them their lives. This prison was still an Ozai stronghold; some of the guards were loyal to whomever paid them, but many were still Ozai supporters. To have Zuko in their hands? Things would most certainly not end well.

Higher in the tree, they were completely covered in shadow, but still had to keep their voices down. Zuko pulled Katara in front of him as Inara started firing off a series of military hand signals.

"We're resting for two minutes then we've got to get out of here. We'll head two trees over, then drop one by one. Guards stick pretty close to the prison, so the further out we are, the safer we'll be," he whispered in her ear.

"What's the matter? Don't you do military?" Inara whispered, just as close to Katara as Zuko was.

"Sorry, my training was more combat-oriented, not sneaking through trees," Katara whispered, eyes narrowed and arms crossed.

Zuko couldn't help smiling. Her training, such as it was, had been with him during stolen moments at the palace. At Inara's signal, the three began their move, feet jostling the branches so that the leaves whispered against each other. Three shadows in the deep of night. Any guards that caught sight of their movement could easily pass it off as the trees, or native jungle animals, but Zuko's heart still pounded. As Inara dropped silently to the ground, Zuko groped for his dagger, just to make sure it was there. They might be further away from the guards, but that didn't mean danger couldn't find them. They were deep in a Fire Nation forest, after all.

Zuko dropped down after Inara, and only hesitated a second while deciding if he should catch Katara. A hard landing might catch someone's attention, but he didn't want to baby her. It might keep them from getting caught in the moment, but she'd give him hell for it later. As he took cover behind a thicket of berry bushes with Inara, Katara made a sloppy landing, but recovered, rolling to her feet and diving into the bush.

"She's not very stealthy, is she?" Inara asked.

"Like she said, her specialty is combat," Zuko said stiffly. He started to reach for Katara's hand, but thought better of it. It was only a short run from there to their camp. And by run, he meant flat out, and hope you don't trip.

Zuko took the lead, knowing the forest well, and lead them through several twists and turns, only stopping to see if they were being followed. A couple times, he thought he saw someone, or heard a thump, but it could have also been any number of animals. Vaulting over a fallen tree, Zuko hooked a hard right, grabbing onto a branch for leverage. Sneaking around was very therapeutic. Zuko emptied his mind, concentrated on his breathing, pumping his legs, and that dull ache in his back from being stooped over for so long. He would see about getting Katara to massage the tension away later.

They didn't slow down until they were a mile out from camp. Zuko gave a hand signal for them to spread out and search the area. He couldn't remember if he'd tried teaching that one to Katara or not, but hoped that she'd get the hint from what he and Inara were doing. It took her a few seconds, but she did. Good girl.

"Camp" was by a stream, and they weren't even in a clearing. They'd picked a place surrounded by dead leaves and twigs, and had taken great pains to not move a thing. They'd done a pretty good job of making the spot look uninhabited. Inara was about to step into the camp area, but Zuko motioned for her to stay put. He wanted to wait a little longer. It was clear Inara was tired, and she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes to mime her frustration, but Zuko kept them there, crouched around the campsite in the bushes for ten minutes before giving the all clear. They'd heard nothing but the unmistakable noise of the forest.

"Someone's a little paranoid," Inara said, voice now at full volume, kicking at a pile of leaves. They'd stashed their gear before heading out on their scouting mission.

"It's kept me alive," Zuko said, heading to the stream. He enjoyed the exercise, but hated that sticky feeling, or the sweat running down his back. He peeled his shirt off and tossed it to the side as Inara and Katara started digging up their supplies.

"Any idea how long you'll be working this one?" Inara asked Katara as they sorted out their supplies.

"This job? We're just here to raid the prison."

"Heh, figures Hau would send in someone fresh just for the raid, when I've been stuck scouting and relaying information for the past six months. It's ok, though. I see Hau sent me a present."

There was a pause in the conversation, and Zuko hoped like all hell that she wasn't talking about him. He dipped his hands in the stream, conscious of the two women watching him, and rubbed the water on his face and smoothing it back into his hair. It was like ice, and refreshing against his overheated skin. He did it again.

"Hau sends you men?" Katara asked.

"Think of it as a consolation prize. And I must've been a _real_ good girl for him to send me this one."

"He can hear you, you know," Katara said, no small amount of irritation in her voice.

"No he can't, he's too far away."

"She's right," Zuko called, turning toward them. He picked up his shirt and headed to look through their supplies. There were a few water skins and some food, but mostly weapons, maps, rope and some official documents that would absolve any bounty hunter that he employed of all wrongdoing in case they ran against the law. They didn't actually plan to spend the night in the forest; they'd planned to meet, stash their gear, and scout out the prison. Inara would be their guide for two nights before leaving them to finish the mission on their own.

When everything was separated, Katara stood closer to Zuko, rubbed his arm, took his shirt from him. "Want me to wash this out?"

"It can wait until we get to the inn. Everything's already arranged?"

Inara laughed. "Oh, I see. You've already claimed this one for yourself."

Zuko rolled his eyes and made a mental note to talk to Hau about the way certain people were rewarded.

"As a matter of fact, this one's been mine for three years." It wasn't entirely true, especially since they'd been dating other people for a large part of those three years, but Zuko kept quiet. He found Katara's possessiveness amusing and endearing as she stepped in between him and Inara, like she as guarding her prize.

He did not, in any way, appreciate the look Inara gave him. It wasn't terribly far from the look Sokka gave meat on someone else's plate. He crossed his arms across his bare chest and looked at the both of them. "I'm not currency, you know." It was all too much like being groped when he waited tables at the Jasmine Dragon in Ba Sing Se.

Inara shrugged. "Suit yourself. But if you ever want to try a different flavor, look me up. We'll meet back here tomorrow night?"

"After sundown."

Inara gave them a brief salute before heading deeper into the forest with her bag slung over her shoulder. Zuko didn't wait for any comment from Katara before taking both of their packs and trudging off in the direction of a town five miles from their campsite. Katara tried to start a conversation at least four different times, but Zuko always silenced her. They stopped frequently, and a journey that should have taken them an hour at the worst through the densest vegetation, ended up taking them twice as long. After the first fifteen minutes, Katara had given up trying to talk to Zuko. She might be mad at him, but she'd get over it.

Zuko still hadn't made up his mind if the silence was reassuring, or if it just meant they were about to die.


	2. Chapter 2

First, thanks to those who've reviewed, favorite-ed, and put both me and this story on alert. You guys rock!

About the story: I'd originally intended this to be a three-arc story of the recovering of Ursa by Zuko and Katara. Then it got dropped down to a two-arc because I couldn't figure out a good place to cut the second half of this. Now, it's back up to a three-arc. While I was revising, it came to me. The second arc will feature a young Ursa and Ozai, and be about their "rise to power," such as it is. I've been having a blast writing Ursa, and I can't wait for you guys to read arc 2: The Jewel of Kirachu. Arc 2 might also come with a companion one-shot series. Since everything's in Ursa's POV, we miss out on some thing. But that's for later. For now, I give you:

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><p><strong>The Chase: Chapter 2<strong>

"You'll have to go in ahead of me and tell the old woman at the front desk—not her son—that we're Hau's charges. She'll give us the key, and we can go right up," Zuko said as they stepped onto the path that would take them into town. The sky was beginning to lighten, and the ache was firmly settling into his muscles.

That night, silence had been on their side, and they'd made it through the forest unmolested. No one had been out, no one had seen them, at least that they knew of. There were times in the forest when Zuko was sure he'd seen something human shaped following them.

"What if they're closed?"

"They won't be." Katara turned to start walking, but Zuko grabbed her arm. "And look mean. Hau told her we were dangerous."

"Look mean?" Katara asked, her arms crossed. "Really, Zuko?"

Zuko shrugged, but she still headed toward the inn, even if she was muttering to herself. When they got inside, Katara did as instructed, scanning the nearly full room. The early morning conversation had been quiet, but completely ceased as the two entered. Zuko looked over the faces of the patrons, too. It was too warm for the hearth to be lighted, but a few hanging fixtures had been lit to aid the swiftly cresting sun. People were trying not to look directly at them.

"We're Hau's charges," Katara said.

Several ears perked up at this, and Zuko wondered how often Hau sent bounty hunters to this inn. He counted among them three he'd personally hired, and two that Hau made arrangements with.

"Oh yeah?" The old woman retorted. She slammed her hands on the desk. "Hau's 'charges' have been coming here nonstop for the past three weeks."

"That's because he knows he can trust you," Zuko said, sliding a White Lotus tile and a gold piece toward the old lady, although he was pretty sure neither he nor Hau had handed out any assignments in the past two months. "We hope to be able to count on your continued support and trust." He turned his head toward the lady, his jaw set. He watched her eye the gold, but it was her son who picked up the White Lotus tile.

"So," he said, a little too loud for Zuko's comfort. "You're one of _them_, are you? You've been coming in quite often, too."

Zuko sat their bags down, nudged Katara with his foot. Hau had been certain that there'd be no trouble, but if things got ugly, they would have to abandon their mission. It could be months or years before they could get back in the area, but by then it might be too late. He couldn't take that chance, but he also didn't want to ignore the faint alarms going off in his head.

"I could slit your throat ear to ear in five seconds, don't play games," Zuko growled, trying and failing to calm himself. It had been a long night, and this mission had his emotions out of sorts.

Katara lay a hand on Zuko's arm. He hadn't even realized he'd reached for his dagger, but she was using her body to push him away from the desk.

"Look, did you have an agreement with Hau or not? It's been a long night, and we're just here to sleep."

The old woman nodded, snatching the tile from her son and pushing it toward Katara—not Zuko. "Just tell Hau that we want a bigger cut. He doesn't pay us enough for this."

Katara took the key that was handed to her, picked up their bags, and practically dragged Zuko after her as she made her way up the stairs. He glanced back at the boy, barely older than they were, as they stepped onto the landing. He made a mental note to have both Hau and Iroh check up on him, and to double check on the activity in the area.

"Come on," Katara said, opening the door to their room.

It was small, had only a bed, a dresser, and a private bath, despite there being one on the floor above. It cost a little more, but Zuko was dead set on having one. They would be keeping odd hours doing grueling work and they deserved a little 'luxury.'

Katara just barely closed the door when Zuko flopped face first onto the bed and let out a loud moan. The bed was soft and the pillow softer, and Zuko relished the comfort.

"Get up before you make our bed all sweaty."

Katara was already peeling off layers of clothing. She was pulling her shirt over her head when Zuko looked at her. He watched as she chucked the shirt into a corner, then took off her shoes, followed by her pants. She turned to him as she began undoing her braid.

"Aren't you going to get ready for a bath?"

Zuko walked over to her and took Katara's hair out of her hands, unbraiding it, and running his fingers through it to make sure it didn't tangle. She sighed and leaned back into his touch as he slid his hands to her shoulders and began massaging away the tension. When he was done, Katara turned to face him.

"Ok, your turn."

"I kinda don't want to be touched right now," he said, stepping out of her reach when she extended her hand. He ignored her hurt and confusion and his thoughts of how soothing a massage would be and headed to the bathroom to start the water running for their bath.

He was still jittery from that last burst of adrenaline, and angry with himself for getting so…well, angry. There was no reason for him to lash out at the kid over a stupid tile—one that he used to hate himself—and he hadn't missed some of the looks on the patron's faces. Dislike and fear and contempt. He'd seen people look at him like that before, and it never made him feel good about himself. There were one or two Zuko had wished only disliked them. There were two people in a far corner who—he was sure—recognized them. He did his best to hide his scar beneath his now shoulder length hair, but hiding it completely wasn't exactly possible.

Of course, he could have imagined it all. It was very likely that two people dressed in black with their faces covered, one of whom had swords on his back, drew a lot of attention. Zuko knew it was more than exhaustion that was making him tense, but if he let his thoughts go down that road, he might lose his resolve.

"You should probably stop the bath before it overflows," Katara said, one hand resting on the doorframe. She took a step inside. "Is this ok?"

Zuko nodded.

"I hope you don't plan on bathing with all your clothes on."

He didn't, but he wasn't sure he had the strength or inclination to stand. Sighing, Katara came to him, stepping between his legs and hugging him to her. Zuko took in a shaking breath, wrapping his arms around her. Maybe a little touching was ok.

"We'll find her, Zuko. We haven't been searching for that long—"

"Three years," he said into her stomach, louder than he'd intended. "Three years of searching and asking and _begging_ that bastard to give me one clue."

Katara tried to pull away, but Zuko held onto her. She rubbed his head and back like one might do to an upset child, and he let her whisper meaningless things like "we'll find her," and "she's fine," before allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. Katara pulled his shirt over his head, placing a quick kiss on his lips before kneeling to pull off his boots.

"You know," Zuko said as she stood up to remove his pants, "in the Fire Nation, when a woman attends a man like this, it's usually because she's married to him. It's a sign of respect and service."

Katara smiled up at him. "I also do your hair and put your crown in, so technically we're married already."

Zuko wanted to smile at her, really he did. He just couldn't make his face work that way. She was right, and that just made it hurt even more. They'd been playing this game ever since their time on Ember Island during the war, and only stopped when they had to be attached to other people. He could think of so many who would be sorely disappointed in his behavior if anyone ever found out what he and Katara were doing. It wouldn't matter how much they cared for each other, or that they never messed around while they were otherwise attached. All Hakoda or his Uncle, or any of their friends would see would be her performing the duties of a wife and him providing and caring for her as a husband while they were unmarried. They would see shame and dishonor.

"We should probably take that bath so we can get some sleep," Zuko said, turning away from her.

When they were both in the bath, and the water was comfortably steaming, Katara came in for the kill.

"How are you, Zuko? Really?"

He'd been sending her mixed signals all night, keeping her close to protect her, then pushing her away, then desperately wanting to be close to her. Sometimes he wished they weren't so close, because then he wouldn't talk so much, and she wouldn't know so much, and she couldn't get him to say more. Sometimes life was easier when he was just angry all the time and people stayed out of his way.

"I'm tired of searching and not finding anything," Zuko said at last.

"Think about it, Zoozie. What she did, that was something even Ozai wasn't willing to do. You know what he's like. He's probably been hunting her the entire time, trying to keep up with where she is. If it got out that he couldn't even steal the throne for himself…"

"Why do I let you call me those stupid names?"

Katara crossed her arms. "Your sister calls you Zuzu, so I think you have _no_ grounds to complain _at all_. And stop changing the subject."

Zuko turned his back and hung his arms out of the tub. "Why won't she come back? I've made it known that she's more than welcome to come home. And it's not like anyone knows what she did."

The water swished behind him, and reflex kicked in when Katara reached out to him. He nearly elbowed her in the head, but she ducked out of the way. She brought a small arc of water above her head to further deflect the blow.

"Sorry," he muttered.

Katara just pushed his arm away so he was leaning on the edge of the tub again.

"I'm going to touch your back now," Katara said. That made Zuko relax enough to smile. Well, it was either that or Katara soothing away the tension in his muscles. She moved her hands expertly from his scalp, down his neck, across his shoulders, and down his back. Comfort and sleepiness came to him. He arched his back and sighed when her hands drifted down to his lower back.

"How are you doing?" he asked, hoping to distract himself.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"About you and Aang?"

Katara stopped moving. "You know how I feel about that situation."

"Not because you said anything, though."

Katara roughly and quite uncomfortably ran her knuckles up Zuko's spine. "We've broken up for the last time. I'm tired of doing all the work. He thinks I don't understand about him being the Avatar and having to travel so much. All I did was ask him to tell me when he's leaving." Now she was jamming her elbow in between his shoulders.

"Ok, you need to cut that out," Zuko said, turning around and holding her at arm's length so she couldn't "massage" him anymore.

"Ugh, I'm just so frustrated with him. Do you know he practically told everyone in the village he was leaving, where he was going, and _how long_ he'd be gone? Everyone except me!"

"So you told me."

"Do you know how big a fool I looked to everyone? And even worse? When I have those dreams? He doesn't understand. It's like, when I'm ready to talk to him about it, he gets nervous and changes the subject, but when it's clear I need to be alone, he harasses me until I have to practically bend him out of the house."

Zuko sighed. He'd tried to have that conversation with Aang, to explain how the final battle had changed them all. It was weird, thinking how all of his friends had come away damaged, except for Aang. He still looked young and innocent and without a care in the world. He was doing his best to learn everything he needed in order to better perform his duties as Avatar, but the more emotional things, things closer to home…well, he wasn't so good at those just yet.

"Once, we did talk about it, and I told him how it weighed on me, all those people we had to kill. You know what he told me? That I should ask for _forgiveness_ for my wrongs!" Katara sputtered, reaching for words, gesturing like she could see them just out of her grasp. In the end, she opted for a scream of frustration.

"We know how he feels about taking a life, and how stubborn he is about seeing other points of view," Zuko said. "He's trying hard to hold onto the ways of the monks."

"Don't you take up for him." Katara jabbed an accusatory finger in his chest. Zuko swatted it away.

"Let's get out the bath and into bed." When she didn't move, Zuko grabbed her waist and slid her back, kissing her cheek, before reaching for a towel and getting out of the water. "I tried explaining everything to him once, but gave up. Sometimes I wonder if he's really dedicated, or just really dense. They were trying to kill us, and at that point, we had no choice."

They both let The Big One hang in the air, unspoken. After the comet passed, even after Ozai and Azula had been defeated, they still had to fight against hundreds of Ozai's invasion force. They were horribly outnumbered, and finally, Zuko sacrificed himself so the others might have a chance. The rains that came after the comet were helpful, but it wasn't until Zuko started redirecting the storm's lightning that anything had changed.

For his efforts, he was shot with Yu Yuan arrows as he was taking in the third bolt. Without thinking, Katara had used her bloodbending to make the blood flow again and to make his heart beat. With some coaxing, she got Aang to push and pull the air into his lungs. She made her peace with bloodbending when it brought him back to life, Hama be damned.

Reluctantly, Katara followed Zuko, stepping out of the tub and grabbing a towel. She bent the water off her skin as Zuko steamed himself dry. He dug through the pack to find fresh clothes for them, and they got dressed in silence.

It was early morning by the time they climbed in the bed and Zuko draped his arm across Katara's middle. He kissed her neck before closing his eyes.

"Here's to a dreamless sleep."

Katara gently elbowed him. "Zuko, promise me—"

"Don't ask me to make a promise I can't keep."

She was silent for a while before sighing. "Here's to a dreamless sleep."

If he had to kill every last person in that prison to find out if Ursa was there, he would do it without a moment's hesitation, and with very little remorse.

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><p>One thing I'm concerned about is the final battle. I'm not sure if it came across well here (and it was only mentioned during a conversation between Zuko and Katara toward the beginning), but my final battle happened differently than it did in the show. I though for a series ender, it should have been more dramatic. In my headcanon, it takes place at the fire sages temple after Ozai has just been crowned Phoenix King.A lot of this isn't relevant to the story, though some lingering effects like Katara's dreams are mentioned. Do you need a more detailed explanation about what happened, and how that's effected everyone? There are other stories where I intend to deal with that a bit more closely, but if people feel they need more of an explanation here, I'll do my best to work one in.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Sometimes, his dreams moved in slow motion. Zuko would find himself trapped, usually surrounded, and he would urge himself to move faster, but it was like he was moving through cold honey. Each blow he dealt with his dao failed to have the desired impact. He was never fast enough.

He watched as the blood flew outward from freshly made wounds.

The smell was always with him, too, in these dreams. The burning. Burning he caused. His shirt might have caught fire, but mostly it was other people. He understood fire, its danger and its beauty, and he could control it when it came near to him, send it back to his owner, use it as a shield against other fire. Burn a Dai Lee agent.

Zuko wasn't sure what jarred him out of sleep this time, but he was grateful for it. Faintly, he could still smell the burning, and he took deep breaths of the unscented air around him. Katara was still sleeping curled up against him, and he buried his face in her hair. He was trying to lock the past back in its hidden compartment when he heard the doorknob jiggling. He caught the words lotus and kill and triumph. Someone was trying to break into their room. He lay quiet and tried to pick out the muffled voices, guessing there to be three people. The light was wrong for him to see shadows under the door.

Placing his hand over Katara's mouth, he roughly shook her as he slid out of the bed, dragging her with him. He knew it was cruel, especially since he'd been dreaming about that fight, that it would sent her back there as well, but this time he wouldn't risk her making a sound. She was a heavy sleeper and hated being woken up. She fought fiercely, elbowing him hard in the ribs. He bit back the groan and whispered, "It's me, it's Zuko" into her ear as quietly as he possibly could. When she stopped struggling against him, he pointed to the door opposite their bed, mimed for her to be quiet, and then mouthed an apology. He didn't wait to see if she'd stopped glaring before he shoved her waterskins in her hands, then pulled out his dao.

Picking the lock must not have been as easy as their assailant thought it would be. He cursed loudly, and Zuko recognized the voice of the old lady's son. Taking advantage of the darkness and their black clothing, Zuko and Katara placed their backs against the wall so that they would be hidden when the door opened. Zuko silently thanked Hau for getting them a room with no windows. That was immediately followed by Zuko cursing him because they just _had_ to get stuck in a hostile inn.

The lock clicked and the door inched open. Katara drew water out of her skins. They watched the men enter their room. Three of them. No, one of them was a woman, and Zuko knew her, the bounty hunter Atem; he had hired her to work for him on several occasions to ferret out dangerous Ozai supporters and war criminals. He hoped like all hell she wasn't there to kill them, because then they'd have to fight for real, and he'd rather save his strength for saving his mother.

Zuko slammed the door closed as Katara froze the owner's son to the wall and placed a cuff made of ice over his mouth so he couldn't yell for backup. Zuko swept his leg in a low arc, tripping the man closest to him while Katara went for Atem. He grabbed a handful of the man's hair and slammed his head into the floor twice, knocking him unconscious. Katara covered her arm in ice to deflect the blade of Atem's knife, and Zuko kicked her in the back of her knee. Before she could recover, Zuko bent a flame and shot it to a wall scone.

"Back down, why are you here?" Zuko said, issuing the command and demand in rapid succession as Katara grabbed the woman's wrist and shoved her to the ground, putting pressure on her shoulder.

"Well, I didn't expect to see you here," she said, laughing jovially. "Let me up, kiddo."

Katara tightened her grip, threatening to dislocate the Atem's shoulder. "No dice."

"Call off your attack dog, Fire Lord. I'm unarmed."

"So says the woman who pulled a knife on me," Katara said.

"The command still stands. Back down and tell us why you're here."

Against the wall, the owner's son was frantically shaking his head back and forth, his eyes wide with fear. Zuko sent him a glare, the one he kept for Toph when she was way out of control. The man tried to make himself as small as possible, but being encased in ice made that rather hard to do.

"Gen told me two of Hau's bounty hunters came by flashing a White Lotus tile," Atem said, nodding toward the owner's son. "I've been waiting for weeks for someone to flash that damn tile so I could pass along a letter."

"Then why were you picking the lock to get into our room?" Katara demanded, roughly shoving her knee into Atem's back.

"Would you get off me? And I wasn't the one picking the lock."

Zuko knelt in front of her. "Details…"

Atem smirked. "You know, you look so much like your father when you do that."

Atem hadn't finished getting the words out before Katara slammed her head into the wood. When she lifted her head, Atem's eyes were a little dazed, and her nose was bloody. Zuko looked at Katara and raised his eyebrow, but she only gave him a look, daring him to say anything. He backed down.

"Why were you with _Gen_, who was picking the lock?" Katara asked through gritted teeth.

"He was going to pay me to kill you. Figured I'd come along, see who it was first."

"Why didn't you attack us? Katara, you can let her go. If she really meant to kill us, we'd still be fighting her."

Reluctantly, Katara got off Atem's back, but she never took her eyes off the bounty hunter. Slowly, Atem got to her feet and started rubbing her shoulder. Then she pulled out a rag and wiped at her nose.

"One does their best not to cross the White Lotus Society," Atem said. She took a step forward, and Zuko saw real fear in her eyes. Jerkily, Atem moved backward.

"You'll stay right where you are," Katara hissed, one by one releasing Atem's limbs.

When she fully had control of herself again, Atem turned, terrified, to Katara. "What the hell did you just do to me?"

"Atem, meet Master waterbender and Master healer, the Lady Katara, Ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe. Avatar Aang's waterbending teacher. The only Southern waterbender, and the only female Master," Zuko said, no small amount of pride in his voice. They were both standing a little straighter, their shoulders back. They shared a smile.

Atem looked back and forth between the two of them. "You're all just kids..." She shook her head, and Zuko was surprised to see that she actually looked sad. It wasn't the first time they'd gotten that reaction. He suspected some people felt shame that they had to be saved by a bunch of teenagers.

"What the hell! I'm seventeen!" Katara yelled, clearly not affected by Atem's sadness. He'd had too many earfuls from Katara about her dislike for their pity and their shame.

"You better stop it, or she'll do it again," Zuko teased Atem. "Who's the letter from?"

"I don't know. It's sealed with the lotus in pink wax, addressed to the Fire Lord."

"Where is it?"

"In my room. Meet me in the parlor in an hour, and I'll give it to you. I was supposed to hand it to whatever operative showed the tile, and they would make sure it got to you."

"What was your price?" Zuko asked.

"I've got several big bounties on my own head. Makes it hard to do my work. In exchange for services rendered for three months, they would make sure those bounties were removed, and boy have they been getting their money's worth." Atem removed the rag from her nose. She sniffed.

"It's a good deal."

"For them. I bet it was your uncle who came up with it. Ever since he took up with that Jun, it's like he's got a fetish for bounty hunters."

"_So_ did not want to hear that," Zuko said, wrinkling his nose. "We'll meet you in an hour." Zuko began shoving Atem out of the door.

"Wait," Katara called. "Take that with you," she said, pointing at the unconscious body on the floor. Atem huffed before grabbing the man by one of his legs and dragging him out the door.

As soon as the door was closed, Zuko rounded on Get, clapping his hand over the ice cuff and melting it. Once the heat touched Gen's face, he started beating against the ice again, trying to get away from Zuko.

"How did you afford the money to buy a hunter of her caliber?"

"I didn't know my Lord!" Gen babbled after Zuko removed his hand. "Please! Please don't kill me."

"Attempting to kill the Fire Lord is an offense punishable by death."

Gen only wailed.

"Why do you hate the White Lotus?" Katara asked, stepping up beside Zuko. She stretched her fingers, slightly tilting them into a bloodbending pose, knowing Gen saw what she did to Atem.

"They're the reason we're here, now! We had a whole _life_ in the Earth Kingdom that they destroyed, but my mother refuses to see things that way. She said they were helping us, but all I saw was them causing trouble. Now those White Lotus guys _and_ you are using her. She keeps letting them use out inn to hide their trash in—"

Zuko didn't work terribly closely with the White Lotus Society, but he knew that they were instrumental in keeping some rebellions at bay. They had eyes and ears all over the four nations, and could often detect anger and resentment before any of the local governments could. If the problem was small enough, local operatives would do their best to talk the people down from their anger. If citizens were too close to violent action, though, the White Lotus guys knew when to hand it over. They'd saved Zuko's skin so many times before. He couldn't be everywhere at once, and too many people with wounded pride took it to mean that Zuko wasn't loyal to his country, and that he'd give it all away. He'd been able to step in before the riots got too far out of hand.

"I'm done with you," Zuko said, turning his back to Gen. It had nothing to do with him that Gen's mother wanted to help the White Lotus Society keep peace.

Katara melted the water around Gen, and put it back in her waterskins. Gen immediately fell to the floor at Zuko's feet. "Please, my Lord, don't be mad! My mother—"

"You'll keep your mouth shut about everything that went on here, or you'll have hell to pay. Now, get out of my sight," he growled.

Gen ran from the room, scrambling undignified on all fours, and falling down the stairs in his haste to get away, lest Zuko change his mind.

Alone again, Zuko turned toward Katara and held his arms open to her. She stepped to him, and he crushed her in a big hug, kissing the top of her head.

"I am so, _so_ sorry for waking you up like that."

She was shaking against him, clutching him and burying her face in his chest. It ripped a hole in his heart to have to do that to her. She'd been there; she'd seen and done the same things he had, and when that final fight seemed so hopeless, she'd reached into a bag of "forbidden" techniques and sacrificed just as he had sacrificed. She told him how heavy it weighed on her once. When she first met Hama, she hadn't been able to understand how the woman could let herself be corrupted, but they'd all come to understand that it wasn't so much _letting_ yourself be corrupted as it was feeling you had no choice. When it's your life or theirs, you find yourself glad that you didn't know your enemy personally. It made the selfishness easier to bear. Well, _almost_ all of them had come to understand that. Someone had a lion turtle that allowed them to avoid that realization altogether, and it filled Zuko with so much bitterness to know that only Aang was spared. Only occasionally would he admit that it was bitterness and jealousy.

"When she…I could see his face, Zuko. It's like I was back there, and I could hear Ozai laughing and taunting, and it made me _so_ angry. I shouldn't have smashed her face down like that. I shouldn't have bloodbent her, I know that. But when I was doing it? Spirits, I didn't feel any remorse, and that scares me."

She pulled him closer, moving her arms up his back and fisting her hands in the fabric. She took in a few choked breaths, and he buried his face in her hair.

"Make me forget," she begged, and when she looked up at him, he kissed her.

He was still new to this whole comforting others thing, but he'd learned the best way to counteract pain was with pleasure or laughter. He was never good at intentionally making people laugh, so he did the next best thing. He ran his fingers through her hair, gently bringing her closer to him and ran his tongue across her lips and she opened her mouth for him. He pulled her tighter and tighter against him, and he felt her give way, and they tried to meld into one person. If they had twice the strength, the pain might be easier to bear. She was slipping her hands under his shirt, caressing his bare back. He pushed into her more, and wondered if she could feel his heart beating quicker.

When he felt her begin to push back against him in their traditional dance of dominance, he knew he'd done his job for now, and he let go. But only a little. He loved it when she was aggressive, and now she was biting his lip. He broke the kiss and lightly ran his lips down her neck.

"Zoozles, that tickles," Katara said, her arms wrapped around his waist and her voice much lighter. "Don't get frisky, now."

"Don't worry. We'll both need our strength."

Katara ran her nails down Zuko's back and smiled when he inhaled sharply. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Remember, you started this," she challenged.

When she tried to turn away, Zuko grabbed her and shoved her against the wall, his hands on either side of her. He licked from her collarbone all the way to her ear, and when her knees buckled, he shoved his leg between hers to keep her from falling, as she grabbed onto the sides of his shirt.

"I hate you so much," Katara said, still holding him. He noticed the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. They were only masking the pain, but it would have to do for the time being.

Zuko kissed her quickly on the lips. "Seriously, though, we should drop this before things get out of hand—"

"There's nothing in my hands, but if there was, I wouldn't be dropping anything."

Zuko stared dumbly at Katara. People were always disarmed by her. Like Atem, many looked at Katara and only saw a sweet girl who couldn't _possibly_ be capable of manipulation or killing someone. That tended to be their downfall. But Zuko, he prided himself on knowing every facet of her, from the sweet caregiver, right down to the dirty minx who could turn a man to putty with a look and a smile. Still, there were moments when she caught him off guard. He knew she lived for those moments, and likely relished his blank stare and silence.

Expertly removing herself from the wall, Katara gathered their sweaty clothes and headed to the bathroom to wash them out.

"If you're done standing around like your brain leaked out, you could get to sharpening our weapons."

Zuko pushed himself off the wall and watched as she sauntered into the bathroom. She was swaying her hips like that on purpose, just to get his attention, to distract them both. And damn it, it was working.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When they met Atem downstairs, she had the sealed letter on the table in front of her, as promised. Zuko and Katara ordered a light dinner, and another green tea for Atem. It was early evening, and they had little to occupy their time before meeting with Inara at their rendezvous point in the forest.

"Tell me," Zuko began as soon as the waiter went away. "Had you really intended to kill us?"

"Nah. I was probably going to hand over the letter and take the guy's money. Honestly? It wasn't really enough to cover the down payment on my regular rates."

"So why take it?" Katara asked.

Atem looked at Katara suspiciously before answering. "Sometimes I like to splurge."

Katara let out a short laugh. "Now, there's one I haven't heard."

Zuko pinched her leg under the table. It's not as if Katara went cavorting around with bounty hunters, so she wouldn't really know who used their money for what. In fact, the only bounty hunter she'd spent any amount of time with was Jun. He did tell her to look dangerous, though, and it was quite possible she was taking the role seriously.

"What did you do to me?" Atem said without introduction after their food and drinks had been delivered.

"I'm sorry about that," Katara said, looking at her plate. "I shouldn't have done that to you."

"You must care for him deeply if you won't even let another woman get near him," Atem said with a smirk, assessing Katara.

"He's my best friend, and this is a very important mission. For the both of us. And I'm not willing to risk the peace we've sacrificed so much for," Katara said without missing a beat, and staring directly at Atem. She never flinched. "Without him sitting up there, this nation would descend into chaos, and bring the rest of the world with it. Not even the Avatar could probably help us, then."

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Katara was right. Sometimes it seemed like the only thing holding the world together was the six of them: Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Zuko, and Suki. For better or worse, Aang spent the most time playing peace keeper in the Earth Kingdom. Kuei had only returned to Ba Sing Se about a year ago, and once the veil was lifted after the war, there was no end to the people who were downright _pissed_ at Kuei. First for being a puppet and allowing Long Feng to run their lives with an iron fist, then for running away like a petulant child and staying gone for two years.

The North was steadily retreating from the world, and Arnook was rarely seen outside of the yearly Peace Summit where they came to hash out their differences, reaffirm old treaties, make new ones, and decide which nation gets to govern which territory. The South was often too busy rebuilding, to get deeply involved in international intrigues, though Hakoda did his best not to disappear like Arnook seemed intent on doing. And the Fire Nation? Sometimes Zuko thought the only reason he hadn't been mobbed was because he was friends with representatives from all the nations, and the Fire Nation managed remain the most powerful of the nations. Even though he was making reparations, all four leaders agreed it would be best to make them in yearly installments rather than risk devastating the world's economy by having the Fire Nation go bankrupt.

"Pretty grim."

"If you think so, you don't get outside the Fire Nation much," Zuko said, exasperated. "The world is sitting on our shoulders right now, and if we were so inclined, we could crush it in an instant."

"I've got respect for the power you wield, trust me," Atem said, leaning back in her chair and holding her hands up.

There were times, though, when Zuko would give it all up and go back to being a refugee in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se, working at the teashop with Uncle. He'd even endure the groping because, in many cases, that was far gentler than the beating he took at the hands of some council members.

"Are you going to read it?" Atem asked, nodding toward the letter.

"In private."

Zuko could see the curiosity was getting to her.

"How is Jun? Haven't seen her on the circuit lately."

Zuko shrugged. "Are you asking personally or professionally?"

Atem snorted and sipped more of her tea. "Personally. We ran into each other often when we first started."

"She's fine. They're on vacation."

They sat in silence for a while, and Zuko looked around to see if those two men who recognized them were still there. He only saw one of the guys, but they weren't being watched at the moment.

"Have you been hanging around here often?" Zuko asked, and when Atem nodded, he asked about bounty hunter activity in the area.

"There've been a lot more people than usual, but they're not bounty hunters. Not flashy enough, going more for the stealth thing. They usually just sit and wait."

"For what?" Katara asked.

Atem threw her hands up. "How the hell should I know? Those guys aren't my type."

Zuko nodded to the guy in the corner. "He look familiar?" His stomach sank when Atem nodded. "He knows who we are. He and one other were watching us last night. Or this morning. Whatever."

"That one is most definitely not a bounty hunter," Atem said. "Chances are, someone wants to keep tabs on you."

"Ah, shit." Zuko ran his hands through his hair, then pinched the bridge of his nose. "We can't get a break, can we?"

"For hire?" Katara asked.

"I don't think so. If he is, he's not advertising himself here. Maybe he's already been bought, but I doubt it. If you're for hire, you get paid, and his gear looks pretty rough."

Katara sighed. The sun was starting to set. "We should get going."

"Just a heads up," Zuko said casually as he and Katara were leaving. "Within the next few months, you may hear about a bounty for a young man named Gen. He could possibly be wanted for questioning. I hear he's been stirring up trouble in small Fire Nation towns."

Atem laughed. "I'll keep my ear to the ground."

"Consider it a repayment for the damage my friend did," Zuko said, jabbing his thumb at Katara. He placed a gold coin on the table next to her. "For dinner and the information." Atem raised her cup to him.

Back in their room, they checked through their gear one more time. They'd saved a little food, refilled their waterskins, and Katara managed to get her hands on a few medical supplies.

"It's cute," Katara said.

"What is?"

"Iroh and Jun."

"You think that. I'll try not to think about it at all."

"Why? Don't you want your uncle to be happy?"

Zuko crouched on the balls of his feet. "Do you know how we got passage to Ba Sing Se? He flirted with the ticket agent, took her to dinner that night, showed up _late_ the next morning, and then we boarded the boat. Then he _told_ me about it. When I said I didn't want to hear it, he was all 'lighten up, nephew,' and 'one day you'll be begging me to tell you this stuff, nephew.' Even when I was a kid, he'd flirt with any woman. I hear he even flirted with my mom on her wedding day."

"Oh."

"I'm glad that he and Jun are having fun," Zuko said, standing up and stretching his legs. "It's great for the both of them, and I wish them all the happiness I'll never have, but I would prefer they keep intimate details of their relationship to themselves, and not think it's the funniest joke in the world to tell me that shit."

"You'll be happy…"

"I'll do my duty to my country, but there's only one way I'll be happy."

Katara looked away, biting her lip. "You shouldn't talk like that."

"We shouldn't be having this conversation."

On Ember Island, they had known it would come to this, and they told themselves they were prepared. With the Fire Nation's pride so wounded, there was no way they'd let their Fire Lord, especially one who came into power the way Zuko did, marry outside the Fire Nation. Spirits forbid she bend another element. That alone would have given half his council heart attacks. So they'd kept quiet, savored the few months they had together, then began seeing other people. They'd promised each other that they would actually try in those relationships; if they failed, it shouldn't be because they were pining away for each other.

"You never want to have this conversation."

"Because it always ends badly. I'm not willing to sacrifice you, too."

"If we can get support—"

"The support we'll get will be from those who want to push me toward conquest. The Fire Nation is the only one with a bender at the top, and—"

"Let them think that! Since when did you do what they demanded, anyway?" Katara was glaring at him with her arms crossed.

In the end, both of their relationships did fail, though for reasons having nothing to do with pining away and forbidden love. Once Zuko and Mai hit the one-year mark, everything began to change. Nobles and members of the court assumed that their reuniting was the same as an engagement, and began pushing the two toward stability, marriage, and an heir. In truth, they'd spent very little time together. Zuko was always busy sorting out Ozai's mess and proclaiming him an illiterate bastard for his utter failure to manage the administrative side of running a country. When he tried to get Mai to help, she never wanted to be bothered. Zuko knew she hated court life, and it was unfair to push her further into it, but if they were going to be together, this would be the rest of her life.

That was probably what did it for him. He liked Mai. They were good friends, and had always been good friends. But she liked Zuko, she even liked Prince Zuko, but Fire Lord Zuko? She could never get used to him. Sometimes he would see her in the private gardens, sitting in complete silence, and she would be smiling, genuinely smiling. When he came to her dressed in the mantle and the crown, that smile dropped away. The only way he could get her to smile at him like that would be without the mantle and the crown and the attendants. She only genuinely smiled at him when they were isolated and they were just Mai and Zuko, not Fire Lord and his Lady Consort. Freedom was what she needed, and though it pained him, freedom was what he gave her.

And when they were single, Zuko and Katara were inevitably drawn back to each other.

"Hey. Where'd you go?"

Katara had her hand on his shoulder, looking concerned, anger momentarily forgotten. He shook his head and focused on the White Lotus letter, retrieving it from the dresser where he'd deposited it upon entering the room. Eventually, they would return to the issue of marriage. Zuko felt relatively confident that, given the right support, he could sell a marriage between fire and water to the nation. He just wasn't sure where the right support would come from, or when it would even be available.

Carefully, he broke the seal on the letter, then began reading. Katara kept a respectful distance so he could read it alone. Zuko shifted from foot to foot as he read the letter twice, and then a third time.

"Fuck," he groaned. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"What is it? Bad news? Good?"

"She said she'd been holding this for weeks, but no one came." Zuko burned the letter then sat down on the bed heavily, aggressively running his hands through his hair and cursing.

"Does that mean she was supposed to meet people here?"

"If it was this important, why couldn't they just send it to me at the fucking palace?"

"Do you intend to tell me what the hell that letter said, or should I just start guessing?" Katara snapped, her hands on her hips.

"She was here," Zuko said, silently pleading with the spirits to have pity on him. "Fuckin Agni, he held her here, and she was _still here_ as of three weeks ago."

"There's still a chance," Katara said running to him and dropping to her knees to take Zuko's face in her hands. "There's still a chance she's here."

"We've got to go in tonight."

"No. We need to know—"

"There's no more time for planning!" Zuko stepped over her and started pacing.

"You need to calm down. Zuko, we can't afford to make any mistakes right now. You need to be calm, and rational, and on your toes. We've got company, remember. You don't want to lead them to her. What if they're dangerous."

"Who'd want to hurt her other than Ozai?" he asked. Katara had no answer.

Zuko paced, cursing and pulling at his hair. Katara lunged for him a few times, narrowly missing as he moved out of her reach, then finally throwing her arms around him from behind.

"I'll follow you to the ends of the earth if that's what it takes. But we'll find her."

"I'm nervous."

"It'll go fine."

"No. About seeing her again."

Katara rested her forehead against his back. "She's your mother. She'll love you."

"He's my father. He's supposed to love me."

"But she always did."

Zuko allowed himself a small smile. "We've got some time before we have to leave. Meditate with me?"

"Of course."

As the sun fully descended under the horizon, Zuko and Katara meditated. Zuko tried to rearrange his thoughts. The bad stuff he kept locked away in the back of his mind, as Lieutenant Jee taught him. With each flashback, that door came open, and bad memories flooded him. Zuko focused now on pushing everything back in its proper place. He emptied his mind and body of the anxiety and the fear of meeting her, and the anger of getting the letter so late. Katara was right—there was still a chance. The news did lift one burden from him: he knew that she wasn't always staying away against her will. Ozai was still after her, and she was still running so she could stay safe.

When Zuko felt the last pull of the sun disappear, he opened his eyes. Katara was watching him and smiling. It was infectious. He smiled, too.

"How long have you been a creepy stalker and watched me meditate?"

"You looked so peaceful."

They were sitting so that their knees touched, and Katara reached up to touch his scar. Zuko leaned into her touch, still smiling because she was still smiling. Gently, she pulled his face toward her, and she kissed the scar. He could barely feel her lips, but it was the gesture that always mattered between them, never the sensation.

"Come on," she said. "It's time to go."

As they passed the front desk, Zuko told the old woman that he would talk to Hau about the agreement they had, and urge him to keep his side of the bargain if indeed there was a breeched contract. When she questioned how a bounty hunter could make the Fire Lord's Chief of Staff do anything, Zuko only laughed.

"Hau holds me in the highest regard, I assure you."

When she went to protest again, Gen shushed his mother, saying that Zuko's word was good. For Gen, all Zuko had was his That's Wrong and You Know It, Toph stare. It worked on the blind and the sighted alike. He gave the parlor one last look, and for better or worse, their little stalker was gone.

When they were outside, Katara gave him a playful push. "You like doing this way too much."

"If I had to change careers, I know what I'd be."

* * *

><p>AN: There weren't any major developments in chapters 3&4, so I decided to upload them together. I've taken the suggestions that I include a bit more background about the final battle and the state of the world, and I hope it flows together nicely. I'm a little weary of overloading the fic. This also contains my favorite crack!ship, IrohxJun. And poor Zuko gets all the details.


	5. Chapter 5

Zuko breathed in the dank smell of the forest with the rotting leaves and the dirty animals and the danger and the heaviness. This wasn't just scouting and possibilities anymore, this was certainty. He knew for certain that she had been there. He knew for certain that she was alive. He knew for certain that she was _close_.

He let out a shaky breath, and groped blindly for Katara. If there was nothing to anchor him, he might give in to that insistent nagging in the back of his mind that said this was his only chance to make things right. Giving in to that nagging meant putting more weight on this mission than he'd put on anything before. It meant he was more likely to be careless, and someone would get hurt. He'd been down that "what if" road before. What if he'd been a better bender? What if he'd been the prodigy instead of Azula? What if Ozai hadn't been too caught up in his scheming for the throne to be a proper father? What if…?

Katara squeezed his hand, and briefly, Zuko let his body sag before they took off into the forest. He gave in to that one moment of despair, then told himself enough was enough. Katara had been right; he needed to be calm, rational, and on his toes. Asking what if only led to infinite possibilities and self-doubt. The what ifs didn't matter—what mattered was what actually happened, and what he'd do about it.

"I'm here," Katara whispered.

Zuko ran his thumb over her knuckles before dropping her hand and, with a pounding heart, took them deeper into the forest. He focused on the known—that they were being followed, and that there would be danger in leading the tracker to Ursa. If they went slowly, they would be easier to see, so Zuko opted for speed, sometimes dragging Katara behind him as he took a zigzagging path to their meeting spot. His eyes constantly moved about, but only saw owl cats and badger frogs. Branches moved, but it could be an animal just as easily as it could be a person.

They reached the clearing, gulping for air, and Katara wrinkled her nose at him as she breathed with her mouth open. It was a rough run, but as far as he could tell, no one had followed them. Katara was pointing to the where Inara had already set up a stack of rocks, signaling that she was the first to arrive. Zuko kept watch as Katara rearranged the rocks into a pyramid, then they hid in the brush. Even though he could see it was Inara cautiously moving toward the rocks, Zuko grabbed for his dao, and Katara went for her water just in case Inara wasn't alone. Slowly, the three made their way into the open.

"Well, that was uselessly complicated," Inara said, dumping her pack on the ground.

"We're being tracked," Zuko said flatly.

She began pulling out her new supplies, shaking her head and murmuring something about rookies getting caught. Zuko glared at her back. They didn't make a living hiding in trees, but they weren't rookies, and it certainly hadn't been the plan to be followed.

"If I had known you couldn't handle one or two people following you, I would have requested someone else," Zuko said.

"If I had known you were so poor at this, I wouldn't have accepted the job."

Zuko was about to respond when Katara caught their attention.

"You two need to cut it out," she said, pulling out medical supplies. She was looking directly at Zuko. "Back off."

Zuko did, taking a few steps away from them both. When Inara wasn't looking, he took a deep breath and blew out a jet of steam.

"Smart," Inara said, the moment having passed for her, as she inspected Katara's supplies. "I didn't think we'd need any for a scouting mission, but if you guys have someone trailing you, it might help to have them."

"Better safe than sorry," Katara said. "We've got a bit of information that might change our mission."

"How close do you think you can get us?" Zuko asked, still standing away from them.

Inara shrugged. "How close do you want to get?"

"We're looking for a certain prisoner. We heard she was there as little as three weeks ago."

Inara nodded. "Three weeks ago would have been a good time to have a look at the prison. Something was going on down there, but I couldn't get a good look at it."

Zuko cursed and started pacing. It was like Ozai was always one step ahead of him, even in prison. He was chasing a ghost, except he knew for certain that she wasn't a ghost. Someone had to have _seen_ her in order to confirm that she was there. If they'd had the information three weeks ago, they could have freed her. Ozai was toying with him; he knew it. Ozai and his damned supporters hell bent on ruining everything.

When Zuko didn't say anything, Katara took over. "Do you know if they were removing any prisoners?"

"They could have been," Inara said, unrolling a map on the ground.

"Can you be a bit more _specific_?" Zuko growled.

"We have a lot riding on this project for the Fire Lord," Katara explained. "Do you know who we're searching for?"

Something stirred in the trees, and all three turned in three different directions, hands moving for weapons. Zuko held his breath and waited, but all he heard were the proper sounds of a forest. For a moment, Zuko thought he saw eyes, and wished he had some sort of ranged weapon. Dammit, he wished he had Sokka's boomerang.

"No," Inara said, removing her hand from the knife on her back, apparently satisfied that nothing was there.

"We're looking for a high profile prisoner. If she was being removed from the prison, there would have been a lot of guards around. I imagine they would have extended the watch further beyond the prison walls," Zuko said. For whatever reason, Ozai was intent on keeping Ursa in his clutches, and Zuko was pretty sure he'd spare no expense when it came to making sure no one could get to her. More prison guards to make sure the forest was clear just might do that.

Inara thought this over as she knelt in the earth. "More guards, yes, but I'm not sure it could have been a prisoner transfer. They were milling about the courtyard, all lined up. They were waiting for something, but I didn't dare get closer or stick around for too long. Cloudless sky, bright moon and all that."

When Inara returned to the maps, Zuko came over and crouched with the other two. Inara showed them the prison layout. It had been a house, and the rooms were turned into single cells, groups of cells, or storage. All the prisoners there tended to be important people, she said. It's where Ozai would send his most vocal and hated detractors. Inara had heard stories about the things they did to the prisoners inside, pointed out the "interrogation" rooms, and added that what they extracted from people there wasn't information.

"Once you're at the point where Ozai sends you here," she said, "giving up information is the least of you worries. Chances are they don't want to hear what you have to say."

Zuko closed his eyes and breathed deeply. This was not where he wanted his mother to be, not on his account, not for anything. He didn't know why Ozai hated his own wife so much, but it only made Zuko's dislike for his father deepen, inching closer to hatred. He needed to find her, and quickly; he didn't know what kind of pain she'd gone through just because she wanted him to be safe. Ozai wasn't the type to let people get off lightly, but this… Zuko wanted to believe that _this_ was even too far him.

"It's not your fault," Katara whispered, her mouth right by his ear. "You didn't do this to her."

"Not directly, but what does it matter? She did this for me. I…" He stopped, swallowed hard. "Whatever."

"This is where I'll take you today," Inara said, pointing to a spot on the perimeter. "I can give you the map if you want it. You'll just have to return it to Hau when your mission's done."

Zuko declined. The layout wouldn't give them trouble, people would, and those kinds of things tended not to be plotted on maps. Once they'd finalized their route, and the places along the perimeter they wanted to hit, the three headed off into the forest.

The image he had in his mind of her was of the last time they were at the turtleduck pond, and he held onto that desperately, as if letting go of the image would mean letter her go. He was showing her how Azula fed the turtleducks, and the mother attacked him. For too many years, her words haunted him: _If you mess with their babies, they'll bite you back._ There was never any doubt in his mind that Ozai had meant to kill him, because it sounded so much like the Ozai he knew, even if the warning had come from Azula's mouth. Azula liked to lie to him, except when she knew the truth would hurt more. Ursa bit back, but Ozai's bite was stronger.

By the time they reached the perimeter, Zuko could almost feel the weight of her arms draped over his shoulders, and smell her perfume, which was something like a spring garden. The feeling stayed with him as they climbed the trees and came closer to the wall surrounding the prison. They verified the rotations, just as Inara had been doing for the past six months. One guard passed their perch every minute. Further up, it was the same. Inara pointed out the shaded spot.

"It might be best to scale the wall, here. If you need to, you can climb a tree a few back, then make your way over. Some of the branches are young, so you have to be careful," she whispered. The three of them were crowded together on an old branch with the bark painfully digging into Zuko's back. He kept quiet. He'd had worse pain. A guard was passing underneath them.

They made a circuit of the prison. Since the building was located toward the left side of the property, that's where the guards were concentrated. They could either take their chances sneaking past triple the number of guards, or brave a dash through uncovered, but lightly guarded, territory. Tomorrow, there would be a quarter moon, and Zuko didn't think they could wait for a crescent or new moon to provide them with more darkness. They would have to make a decision on the spot the next night.

Inara kept them well in the shadows, and they spoke even less on this trip than they had on the previous one. Mostly, they watched and waited, timing the guards in the courtyard, waiting for gaps that never came on the left, then moving back around to the right. There were only two ways of entering the prison: the heavily guarded front door, and a back door, reinforced with metal.

"We might have to fight our way in," Zuko whispered to Katara.

The guards didn't seem to be taking their job too seriously, and if they were lucky, Zuko and Katara might be able to get off a few surprise attacks before being overwhelmed and brutally killed. Someone had set up a pai sho board on an old stone table, and a few of the guards were gathered around. They were uniformed, with some insignia in the middle of the chest too small to be made out at that distance except for a bright burst of red on the black shirts, all were armed with identical swords strapped to their waists. It didn't look they were wearing armor, which said they didn't expect any sort of attack. They looked to be completely unsupervised, and Zuko began thinking of ways to use this to their advantage.

"Is there a warden here?" Katara asked.

"If there is, I haven't seen one."

Zuko wondered how Katara would feel if they had to massacre them. How would _he_ feel if they did that and Ursa wasn't there? If they'd gone through all this searching, only to be met with another dead end? If Ozai won again? Zuko hadn't been surprised to find that there were very few records about this place. That he knew of, it had no name. There was no current prisoner list, nothing that listed its employees, their rank, or salary. He might have sucked at being Fire Lord, but it was as if Ozai had made the prison disappear.

The longer they watched the nightly proceedings at the prison, the more Zuko became convinced that things weren't going to end well. The soldiers all seemed too casual for them to actually be guarding anyone.

A whistle trilled, and the three froze, Zuko's heart pounding so hard it was threatening to give him a headache. The pai sho game was abandoned, and the guards all lined up with perfect military precision. What Inara said about them being highly trained was true. Within seconds, they were standing at attention, awaiting orders.

A man exited the building, hand on the sword at his hip. He saluted the guards, and they saluted back in unison, the faint sound of their hands slapping the leather scabbards echoing into the trees.

"Two days from now," the man began, "we will be receiving a new prisoner. Her crime is serving that treacherous bastard king sitting on the throne now."

Zuko winced, hurrying to think of anyone who'd gone missing. As far as he knew, everyone was accounted for. He glanced at Inara, but she only shrugged. He didn't care if they were after him, but to pick people off just because they were working _with_ him? He leaned forward, but Katara's hand was on his chest, pushing him back. She shook her head. Now wasn't the time.

"Let's give this bitch the welcome she deserves. We can mail the corpse to that bastard child when we're done with her." The guards cheered. They _cheered_. "Long live the rightful Fire Lord, Ozai!"

Zuko dug his fingernails into his palms. Let that pain remind him of where he was and what he was doing. They were cheering for the pain they would cause this woman simply because she'd switched to the new regime. It was sick. He knew there were people who hated him and thought him unworthy, but whenever he was faced with something like this—people who wore their hatred as a badge of honor—he wondered if there'd ever truly be peace, or if the war was destined to continue forever.

These were the men who held his mother. These were the vile beasts… All because Ozai was a coward, all because the only way Ozai could ever have a throne would be to kill his own son. Dislike slipped a little more toward hatred.

Katara covered his eyes to get his attention, and he snatched her hand away. Inara was signaling that they should leave. Zuko hesitated for a moment, then nodded, sighing steam from his nose, and trying to expel some anger with it. Inara's eyes snapped to him, and she gave him a questioning look. He ignored it.

Swiftly, they moved through the trees, and Zuko focused on the movements to clear his mind. He forced himself to be empty. Any levity he'd felt earlier was gone. Inara led the way back to their campsite, taking over Zuko's paranoia from the night before. They moved as silently as possible, but the forest seemed to be more alive than usual. An owl cat hooted loudly, and several others answered the call. Badger frogs chirped. A hogmonkey grunted.

As they moved away from the prison, Zuko was on even higher alert for that tracker. He was seeing shadows everywhere. He tried to console himself by saying that whoever was following them couldn't have been part of the group guarding the prison. Those men weren't trained for stealth; they were trained for combat. The moment they snapped to attention, Zuko could see it in the way they stood, their feet planted firmly on the ground, their shoulders set, the way they wore their weapons around their waists, rather than on their backs. But if it wasn't the same people tracking them, who was? That presented a whole separate set of problems. If he really tried, he could come up with a list of people who'd be interested in following his every movement that stretched three miles long.

As they reached the camp, it hit Zuko. He knew who the prison guards were. He'd only heard their name once or twice before, uttered by Ozai himself. Zuko had been sneaking through the passages in the palace when he heard Ozai tell someone that the Phoenix Brigade would demolish a pesky Earth Kingdom town. The woman had sounded skeptical, saying the town was large—at least ten thousand people—and that twenty men could scarcely hope to take that on by themselves. Ozai's answer had been firm. He had every faith that they'd be able to do it.

It was that bright red that made the memory come back to Zuko. Ozai had closed the conversation with the woman by saying "Red on black is the sign of the army that does not exist." Or at least, that's how Ozai closed _that_ part of the conversation. When the grunting started, he'd moved on so he wouldn't have to hear Ozai betray his wife in another manner.

"Fuckin Agni," he said, burying his face in his hands and struggling to breathe. He couldn't believe Ozai would do that to her.

Inara and Katara looked at him, before sharing a confused look at each other. Zuko paced, hands on hips, trying to remember several documents he'd read when he was laid up in bed after the final battle.

"Ozai had an elite team of warriors. Non-benders," he said slowly. "I remember reading some of the communiqués between Ozai and their leader. Everything was so coded, and I don't think I understood most of it."

Inara looked at him, surprised, but Katara stepped in. "Hau let us look through some documents he thought might be relevant."

"Would have been nice for him to share them with me," she said, irritated.

"He only found them before we left. Spring cleaning in the Fire Lord's office."

Inara huffed, but Zuko didn't care how angry she was. He needed to get his mother out as soon as possible. If she'd been in there three weeks, it might already be too late. He wanted to go back and see if he could clearly identify the rest of the Phoenix insignia, but returning now would be too risky. With that bloodlust in them, they would be hyper-aware of their surroundings, and there couldn't be a worse group of people to potentially capture Zuko. They wouldn't even bother ransoming him.

Their coup would be more brutal, more bloody than Azula's ever was. They would slaughter people from all the nations—including the Fire Nation. Starting with the Fire Nation. All the people who fought to end the war, those who worked to maintain some semblance of peace… Zuko immediately took back what he said about letting them go after him. Ozai would be free, and it wouldn't matter that he couldn't bend. They'd break Azula out of the hospital, undo what healing had been done. And Katara. The things they'd do to Katara… They'd make him watch…

He took several shallow, shaky breaths, trying not to heave and failing to banish those images from his mind.

"I suspect they're the Phoenix Brigade, Ozai's personal 'cleaning crew.' He used them to hunt Air Nomad conclaves, and they slaughtered whole _towns_ just to find airbenders. An old man came to our tea shop in Ba Sing Se, said he'd seen it. You would never know people even lived there."

"So, what you're saying is that two people can't take that prison alone?" Katara asked.

"The Yu Yuan archers descended from their ranks," Zuko said helplessly, his hands dropping to his sides. "Our best hope is that this is a training facility with more fresh recruits than seasoned warriors."

"We need to regroup and tell Hau to give us some backup?"

Zuko shook his head. "There's no time for that—"

"Is this woman so important that you would risk your _life_ to save her for a Fire Lord you've never met?" Inara asked.

"Yes!" Zuko yelled. "It was…she…" Really, what could he tell her that wouldn't give it away? It was for him that she gave up everything. He'd thought about it all those nights when he was on that ship. He hated himself for being so stubborn and not listening to his uncle. He believed she exchanged her life for his, and he'd gone and thrown it away. He should have kept his mouth shut and let those soldiers die, but when he found out she was alive, it didn't matter that he'd spent all those years without her.

"And you?"

Inara was talking to Katara now, and Zuko forced himself to focus on their conversation. His head was reeling and he was starting to feel a little dizzy.

"I intend to keep my word," Katara said.

Inara shook her head. "The two of you are nuts."

"And that just might be what keeps us alive," Zuko said, digging his and Katara's packs out of the ground. "You've been a big help to us. Tell Hau I said you deserve a bonus."

"How in Agni's name am I supposed to do that? I don't even know who you are." Inara crossed her arms, offended. "And why should he listen to you?"

Zuko laughed, and Inara backed away from him. He threw his head back and laughed at the irony of being asked for the second time why anyone should listen to him, at being outrun by a man in prison, at being surrounded by people determined to have his head on a gilded platter.

"Tell Hau," Katara said, "the 'crazy guy' he sent thinks you should get a bonus."

"He'll know who you're talking about," Zuko said with a mirthless smile, tossing Katara's pack to her. Inara looked very tired, but she didn't say anything more. They said goodbye for the final time, and went in different directions.

On the trip back to the inn, Zuko lagged behind Katara. Occasionally, she would stop to wait for him, but she mostly left him to his thoughts, for which he was quite grateful. Or maybe not. He couldn't hold back thoughts about the horrible things they could have done to her. Ozai had only burned him, but those Phoenix Brigade soldiers? They did more than burn. They burned, cut, stabbed, gouged, beat, pulled, starved, pushed, branded, seared, poked, prodded, stuck, invaded, penetrated…

Zuko quickly took a detour and threw up in the bush. The moment she heard him, Katara came running, and was rubbing soothing circles on his back. When he was done, Katara was handing him a waterskin, and he rinsed his mouth out. He was glad she didn't ask anything, because he wasn't sure he would remain sane long enough to tell her.

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><p>AN: Ok, that was a long one, and from here on out, most of the chapters are pretty long because I've really been taking everyone's advice. Do you think it's too long? Thoughts?


	6. Chapter 6

_I seriously owe _**_Kimberly T._**_ several shirtless Zukos for helping me with this rewrite. She pointed out several gaps in story logic, and after a couple of PMs, I'm feeling more comfortable with this. If I'm going to include Chem's POV, then I had better do it justice, and give him a full character, just like I would Katara and Zuko. This also does a better job of tying in with the third arc. This is the great part about writing: putting it out there, getting feedback, then revising. I love revising, just as much as I love constructive criticism. If you feel like something's off to you, or you're having a hard time believing what's happening, I would rather you say something than have it ruin the story for you._

_Also, keep in mind that POV is highly subjective. Just because I think it looks like a cup doesn't mean that it can't also look like two faces kissing. And sorry to all those who JUST read this, and now I'm posting an update :( I'm planning on doing another update later this week, and wanted to get this one out there._

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><p>Chem stood in the middle of the camp and watched Inara greet the scouts at the perimeter as she made her way further into their campsite. There were easily one hundred and fifty tents of varying sizes—all in either black or dark green—pitched around the clearing. People milled about, eating and talking in small clusters. Nearly everyone was armed, even as they ate, and the place looked like nothing more than a camp of soldiers during a war. Which, essentially, it was. And Chem was at the center of it all. When she reached him, she bowed.<p>

"Sir, there might be trouble."

"Is it something we need to talk about in private?"

Inara gave a firm no, and Chem nodded. Everyone who was at that camp was there for the same reason. The Fire Nation was their home, too, and Sozin's blood had done so much to damage it, everything about it. Because of their actions, Fire Nation was a dirty word in the Earth Kingdom, and gold eyes automatically denied you peace at the North Pole. Legally, no nation was allowed to deny entry because of nationality alone under one peace treaty or another, but there was no regulating the distrust and the dirty looks and the sneers and the hurt pride.

Azulon had stripped their islands of native traditions and forced them into the pathetic blandness of the capitol, and nothing had been done to rectify this, yet. So much needed to be fixed at home, and yet the Fire Lord chose to focus his attention elsewhere. Lies were still being spewed three years after the war ended, and now the people of the Fire Nation suffered. There was little refuge in the Earth Kingdom or the Water Tribes. The new Avatar was too young to understand the gravity of the crimes committed by Sozin and his descendants against the people of their own nation. It was too easy for him to overlook this in the face of the damage done to the rest of the world.

"What is it, Inara?" Chem asked, maneuvering them to an empty log by the fire

"I've played my part as I was told, and now I'm through. The rest is up to them, and to our own people." Inara sighed. "Fire Lord Zuko is sincere in his love for his mother and his attempts to rescue her. He's done a lot, sir—"

"He has done a lot for others, but not for his own nation."

Inara looked away, but she didn't look chastised at all. No. She wouldn't. She would side with Long and say that the best way to achieve their goals would be to join forces with the Fire Lord, but Chem knew that too many of Azulon's government officials still had their jobs. He'd worked with them before, and these were men who made their money on war. They wouldn't give up their positions so easily.

"You can't expect things to go back to the way they were before this whole business started." Inara put her hand on Chem's shoulder, but he slid back and away from her grasp.

"I don't expect you to understand the way Fire Nation politics is conducted—"

"Things have changed since you were banished, Chem! In Omashu they praise his levelheaded decisions."

"And in Ba Sing Se, they say he is responsible for the disappearance of King Kuei, that he has been reluctant to turn over war criminals because they are his close advisors, and he has steadily denied requests for monetary aid. Everyone knows the Fire Nation is still the richest of the nations."

"Everyone says it, but since none of us have been there since the war ended, how can we really know?"

"Because we know what he is! Because I saw him riding down the streets of Ba Sing Se next to Azula after the coup! I heard her tell the people that _he_ killed the Avatar—"

"Who is clearly _not_ dead—"

"I heard the Dai Li agents say that he turned the tide of that battle. If he had simply done _nothing_ the Avatar and Ambassador Katara would have _won_." Chem stopped himself, breathing heavily. He was yelling, and people were looking in their direction. "You did not see the look of pain and hurt on the Lady Mother's face when her children marched under Ozai's banner…"

He and Ursa had escaped with a few other refugees nearly a month after the coup, but that month had been hell. She didn't want to eat, and she couldn't sleep. She had been confined to the house because even going out for groceries carried a high likelihood that she'd be caught and returned to Ozai. Even Chem didn't dare venture out, but living in constant fear and jumping at every knock of the door and walking with shoulders stooped and scanning eyes was taking its toll. Worse than the humiliation of sneaking out of the city in a dung cart was having to listen to Ursa cry herself to sleep _when_ she could get to sleep, and lamenting her son's role in the takeover. She had known she was powerless to reverse Ozai's damage to Azula, but she had hoped and prayed that at least one of them was safe.

Inara sighed and covered her face with her hands. "I didn't want to get into a political discussion with you, Chem."

Until this mission, he hadn't dared to set foot in the Fire Nation, afraid of money hungry bounty hunters who would track him down and turn him in, or worse, use him to get to Ursa. Like others, he'd been forced to live on kernels of truth and half truths about the Fire Nation, desperate to figure out what was going on with his home. He'd heard about the burning of the lotus lily fields on Kirachu Island—where he and Ursa were born—a whole year after it happened. They'd heard the news while they were on a trading ship, only days after their escape from Ba Sing Se, and it hit Ursa hard when no one could tell her what became of Wei and Qiao, her parents, once the most powerful family on the island that supplied the Fire Nation with one third of its food. She didn't think he heard her, but she'd cried and told the sea that she'd dreamed of her parents meeting her son and showing him the fields she'd so loved as a girl.

Nine long years he spent running with the Fire Lady Mother Ursa, trying to stay one step ahead of Ozai, who finally realized she was the one to hold all of his secrets and, Chem assumed, who was intent on killing her.

Inara was yawning and scratching her head. She meant well, Chem knew, and she was just ready to go home, but he was, too. While Inara would have them waltz into the Fire Nation with nothing but hope and love, Chem knew that caution was necessary. So what if he had become the Avatar's firebending teacher? It very well could have been a spat over the crown that drove him to his father's enemies. It wasn't unheard of. Ozai had clashed with both Azulon and Iroh many times about his right to rule, and those fights had been vicious, especially between Iroh and Ozai. It landed the younger brother in the doctor's on more than one occasion.

"It has been a long night," Chem said, calling a truce. They didn't need to argue amongst themselves. Not now. Not when he felt they were so close.

"Chem," Inara said slowly, "Fire Lord Zuko thinks this is the Phoenix Brigade."

Thoughtfully, Chem folded his arms inside his sleeves. The Phoenix Brigade was like a bunch of bad weeds. No matter how many times you removed them from the field, they kept coming back year after year. Chem and Ursa had seen them destroy an entire town. They'd been hiding _in_ that town when it was razed, though there was never any indication that the Phoenix Brigade knew they were there. Nothing had been heard from them in months. When one of Ursa's friends came to him with the suspicion that she might be in their custody after he'd gone a year and a half without seeing her, Chem wasted no time gathering the necessary forces to free her.

"I wish you could tell me otherwise, Inara." Chem closed his eyes, started to ask her if the very existence of the Phoenix Brigade wasn't enough to still question this Fire Lord, then thought better of it. "How many are there?"

"Fifty, at least. The building's fairly small."

He shifted his feet on the ground, recalled the last time Ursa had a run in with Ozai's military friends. They were brutes, all of them, supposedly loyal generals in Ozai's division of the army, but the moment Ursa showed herself to be more influential, they grew angry. They grew vengeful.

"Fifty…" Chem sighed. He must think positive. "Fifty is not one hundred."

They had been afraid that Ursa would steal Ozai away. They blamed her for the emergence of words like treaty in Ozai's vocabulary, sometimes replacing attack. They came for her in the dead of night, and they hurt her worse than anyone should have ever been hurt. She lost the child she was carrying—Ozai's child, their commander's child, their _prince's_ child, and that she'd poisoned them all in front of the royal family, watched their faces blacken and their eyes bulge was little consolation for the pain and the lingering scars that would never ever heal. And all this before the Phoenix Brigade was even conceived. She was greater than they were. Since she'd been banished, she managed to take out one hundred of them. She never answered when he asked how she managed to do so.

"Skill won't help where numbers are involved," Chem said, but Inara looked skeptical. "She just needs to hang on for one more day, then she can be free of it all."

"Is it safe to let Fire Lord Zuko and Ambassador Katara go in there alone?"

"We won't let them die. We can't afford that. It would break the Lady Mother Ursa's heart to see her treacherous bastard of a son dead. It would send our nation into civil war between second and third cousins with no real claim to the throne, nothing would get accomplished. Besides, this one comes with the noose already around his neck." Chem's shoulders slumped. "The people want continuity—the blood is passed from father to son, and so long as he keeps his sister drugged and her bending suppressed he is the only legitimate heir. Let us take heart in the noose around his neck that is the beautiful Lady Katara."

Chem ignored the distasteful look on Inara's face. She crossed her arms and stared into the fire. He knew exactly what she thought about the Fire Lord drugging his sister. What she called rumor, he called substantiated. Too many people argued that the Lightning Princess wasn't insane at all for it to be a rumor.

"I did like you said. I told her Hau sometimes sent me men, complimented his looks, and she got very possessive."

"Was she possessive like a lover or possessive like an overprotective mother figure? We must be very sure of this. They say she is motherly towards the others, though if that is the case, I am sure we can still work something out."

"It most certainly wasn't possessive like a mother figure. As far as I know, their relationship has never been like that. Something having to do with them starting out as enemies."

"Then she will be amenable to our plans," Chem said. "And so the noose draws a little tighter."

"Do you have to refer to it like that?"

"The leash, then? They say she brought him back from the dead with her bending—"

"Her and the Avatar—"

"With all the royal family's talk of honor, he will feel indebted to her. And perhaps they even feel a little more for each other. We will be doing them a favor."

"For Agni's sake, Chem, you can't ignore things you don't want to hear!"

People were looking at them again, though the camp was winding down. Those who'd been on guard during the night were turning in, and fresher faces were peeking out of the tents, seeing if it was time for their watch. Chem did not answer the quizzical looks and raised eyebrows. Most didn't even bother looking in their direction beyond seeing that it was Chem and Inara arguing again.

"It is not ignoring what I don't want to hear, child, it is putting aside that which is irrelevant."

The _only_ thing Chem would ever admit that former Fire Lord Azulon did right was pick wives for his sons. He had the brilliant idea to find a wife who would manage the temperament of his child. When Iroh was wild and fond of women and drink, Azulon chose a wife who was stern and commanding. She would reign him in when he got too out of control, and together they were stronger. The Lady Mother Ursa was young and challenging, and it completely confused Ozai. Where he allowed himself to be ruled by his emotions, Ursa came in with a firm hand and much needed logic. She'd known how to make up for his losses, and Ozai became dependent on her. He was forced to bow to her superior will.

The only shortcoming was that Ursa was not a bender, and she could not completely balance Ozai's madness. This, Chem intended to rectify. The first Fire Lady since the death of Fire Lord Sozin's wife, Fire Lady Hai, would have to be a bender at least on par with the current Fire Lord. She would have to be strong willed, but kind hearted. She should not bow to him. She would need to be the eyes and ears, keeping tabs on the Fire Lord as Princess Jian had kept watch over Iroh before her death, and as Ursa kept watch over Ozai before her banishment.

"I've seen them together one other time, when I was stationed on a minor outpost close to the South Pole," Inara said hesitantly, scratching her arm. She stared into the fire, then looked up at the stars. She was stalling, probably mulling over whether or not she should tell him anything. Chem would need to have her watched. "They are comfortable around each other. They are very close, whether as best friends or as lovers, what does it matter. Just don't ruin it."

"You would have withheld this?"

"It is not a matter of withholding, it is a matter of deciding what is relevant, and what is not."

Chem narrowed his eyes at her smug smile. "We will get to the Lady Mother Ursa before they do."

He congratulated Inara on a job well done, made sure she got a hot meal, then told her she should speak to the two trackers, Fei and Long, to see what they found out.

"One more thing, Inara," Chem called before she went too far. "Do they suspect anything about you? That you are aware of their identities?"

"No. I'm sure of it."

"Good."

As he walked around the camp, he nodded to the supporters he'd gathered. As Ursa swore her oath first to the Fire Nation, then to her new family, he had sworn his oath first to Ursa's parents, then to Ursa herself. Her will was his command. Many of the gathered had been banished or driven out of their corrupt nation, and their numbers were great, their talents many. It didn't matter that a large portion of them couldn't tell you how Ursa looked, or that even more weren't concerned with politics on the same level as he was. They'd sworn to him that they were determined to see their nation restored to some semblance of peace and prosperity as it was in the years before Sozin. They were loyal to him, and he was loyal to Ursa. She was the banner under which they'd gathered, whether they knew it or not. Ursa would be the symbol of all that was, is, and will be, great and beautiful and lovely about the Fire Nation.

Chem grunted as he moved aside the flap to his tent. His body didn't have the strength it used to. He'd never been a fighter. He was a secretary by trade, a spy and a master of secrets by practice. His birds flew across the four nations; he had been preparing for this moment for a long time. If he was to convince this Fire Lord, he needed to bring something heavy to the table. He scratched his grey beard as he eased himself to the ground. The Phoenix Brigade was a right nasty piece of work. With two master benders—one with alleged homicidal tendencies—they just might have a chance at freeing her.

He would risk the Lady Mother's wrath to see her saved later. She would come to understand in time.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This is the smut chapter! As such, the rating has gone up to M, and will stay that way for the next few chapters because of violence. I've updated Chapter 6, so if you haven't read that, please do. I intended this to be fluff, but two lines happened, and then I couldn't help it. I went there.

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><p>Back at the inn, Zuko couldn't even look at Gen, standing at the front desk. The world around him was muted, and he tried to think about happy things, like seeing his friends and finally getting to sleep in his own bed once things were over. He probably had a week's worth of Sokka's letters to read, which was always enjoyable. He'd also have a week's worth of custard to eat when he got back, too, though he was sure Hau would have something to say about that. Less custard, more actual food, Hau always said.<p>

He was standing in front of their door, his hand on the doorknob, and his forehead resting against the wood, when Katara put her hand on his shoulder.

"I don't have the key," he explained.

She unlocked and pushed open the door, and Zuko promptly threw himself face first onto the bed. The door clicked closed behind them.

"We took on an entire army of firebenders during Sozin's Comet, Zuko. Don't tell me you've gotten soft in your old age."

"It's not just the prospect of impending doom that gets me down," Zuko said, his voice muffled by the pillow. "It's thinking about what they could have done to her. And what they plan on doing to that poor woman. It's not _right_ that she should suffer so much for me. I should have… Ozai, that bastard…his own wife!"

The bed shifted with Katara's weight, then she was sitting on him, running her hands over his back, before kneading the muscles. He tried to relax into her touch, imagining the way her face would be a perfect picture of concern. He could roll over and look, but this would occupy his mind. Her touch was reassuring, and he was glad she didn't keep up an endless stream of chatter. That's one of the things he loved about Katara—she understood when he needed quiet, and when he needed distraction. Her rhythmic rubbing gave him something to focus on; the steady motion of her hands from the small of his back to his shoulders, kneading in a circle with her thumbs, back down again to the small of his back, her fingers brushing his sides. Constant. Repeated.

"Is it best that I don't ask what they're capable of?"

"If we get caught, they're not ransoming me. I won't leave there alive. You…" Zuko fought back the nausea. "They _might_ ransom you, but not before breaking you… Not before… They'd make me… Your father, Hakoda they would…"

She stopped moving, her hands stationary on his shoulders. He turned his face to the side so he could take in a deep breath, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Katara was thinking. He'd seen her look that way when they went to the market and she was weighing the value of a deal. He'd never met anyone who could bargain quite like she could, but then that was probably because she'd had the practice, trying to buy food for a bunch of hungry teenagers. He smiled briefly at the memory, and she started moving her hands again.

"Maybe we're thinking about it wrong," she said, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "We didn't feel this hopeless before the final battle because we had a plan. We knew what we were supposed to do, and we were soldiers. We didn't think about anything else."

"Politics has made us soft. It's all desk work, now. If I have to look at the royal ledger one more time, I think my head's going to explode. And I'm pretty sure we _were_ thinking about something else."

He watched her face transform as she smiled softly. All the worry went away and she looked young and carefree as she traced a wrinkle on the back of his shirt. She blushed. "Don't be dirty, Zoozie." She bit her lip.

Zuko didn't have the heart to tell her he was referring to Sokka's list of all the things he'd never get to do if he died, or Toph bending a massive sculpture of herself at the beach house on Ember Island that she hoped would stand the test of time and be a monument to her greatness. He didn't have the heart to tell her that he'd dreamed about eating his favorite dessert for the last time, and when he woke up the morning of the comet, that was his greatest regret—that he wouldn't have any more custard. He let her live that last moment they had, where they sat under the stars, far from the White Lotus camp, and spilled their guts to each other. He could still remember the way her lips had felt impossibly soft against his, how gentle they'd been with each other, how it never even occurred to them to take their clothes off, how they just sat, holding and caressing and kissing and whispering stupid things that had no real gravity.

"Thinking about tomorrow, it makes me feel less…I don't know, useless isn't quite the word." She started moving her hands in the rhythmic circle again, and Zuko felt like he was melting into the bed. "What we've been doing has been really important, but it's hard to see the changes sometimes. So much of what we're doing is trying to get people to play nice, but now everyone's just looking out for themselves. Everyone's still so cautious. Spirits, it sounds like I want war again."

"It's not unreasonable. Between Arnook and the North isolating themselves and Ba Sing Se struggling to control riots and make Kuei an actual king…" He shrugged. "When you win a fight, you know it. With these treaties, you're not always sure what's going on."

"Part of me still enjoys being a warrior."

Zuko couldn't help it. He just started laughing, a manic mix of amusement, hopelessness, pessimism, and despair, and his whole body shook. When Katara stopped massaging him, he rolled over so that he could see her, and grabbed her waist when she tried to get up. She crossed her arms and glared at him, her mouth a tight line that made him want to kiss it until she opened up again, until she smiled and her light drove the darkness from his mind.

"Right," she said. "Because the idea of me being a warrior is _so_ damn funny."

He swallowed the next round of laughter and looked her in the eyes, trying to muster as much non-laughing sincerity as he could. She only narrowed her eyes further, and he gave her his best apologetic smile.

"You are without a doubt, the only person I would want by my side when I have to do this. I wouldn't take Uncle, I wouldn't take Toph, I wouldn't take Aang in full Avatar State, no matter how much sense it would make, and I may be stupid for not telling them about this, but it's not their burden." He rubbed her thighs, still smiling at her. "It's mine. And yours because you're amazing and you made that decision, and I trust you with the darkest parts of myself."

"Flattery won't help."

Flattery always helped with Katara, because he could feel the muscles in her legs loosen a little, and she wasn't holding her mouth so tightly anymore. There was a spark in her eyes, the one she always got when they were sparring and she just _knew_ she was going to win.

"You have to admit that it's kind of funny. I can't imagine you would have said _anything_ like that even two years ago. I'm telling you all this horrible stuff, and freaking out about what they could have done to my mother, what they intend to do to this woman, what they could do to you, and it's like none of that even matters. It's just Katara and hopebending and positive outcomes-"

"I do not hopebend!" she said, hands flying to her hips. "Wipe that smile off your face right now."

Zuko tried hard, but it wasn't working. "I mean, you managed not to actually say hope this time, but it's still the same thing."

"Well, someone's got to think positive in this outfit, and it certainly isn't you."

"Which is why I need you," he said, lazily stroking her leg. He tried to look pathetic and needy, poking out his bottom lip, but the effect of these things varied greatly depending on Katara's mood.

He watched Katara fight a smile, but her resolve was breaking. Zuko figured he should help by shoving his hands up the sides of her shirt and running his hands over her sides, tickling her. She wiggled furiously, trying to get away from him, doing her best to stifle giggles that escaped nonetheless. Zuko loved it when they could be like this. If they were caught within one hundred yards of the capitol acting like silly teenagers, people would be calling for his head. He was the Fire Lord; there were taxes and treaties and reparations and the homeless and the needy to tend to, and the crown was practically bleeding money everywhere. They would say he had more important things to do. And he needed a wife, preferably one of their choosing, and an heir.

Here in this room, though, with no windows and only one door, they could do whatever they pleased, and they could enjoy themselves doing it. Katara was trying to swat at his hands, and her hair had come loose, and it was swinging around and sticking to the sweat that was still on her forehead. He decided that he wouldn't change a thing about her, even her nonsensical hopebending.

When he stopped, and she tried to get up, he pulled her back down against him, rolling his hips into her twice in just the way she loved. She took in a sharp breath, her hands immediately going to his on her hips. She was holding him tightly, and that hungry look crept into her eyes.

"If we're going to die tomorrow night, we might as well."

And Zuko had to go and ruin it. Katara stopped moving against him, and her nostrils flared. She raised her right fist, and Zuko didn't have enough time to register what she was about to do before the blow hit him in the chest and the pain came. He rolled to the side, cursing and clutching his chest as Katara got off the bed.

"I'm going to run a bath, asshole." She slammed the door behind her.

As Zuko pulled his knees under him, his face mashed into the pillow, he had to admit that she definitely didn't hit like a girl. He cursed Sokka and Toph for _ever_ teaching Katara to throw a good punch, even if he did deserve it.

Sliding off the bed, Zuko decided he should see just how mad she was at him. He knocked on the bathroom door, but there was no answer other than the water rushing into the tub. Carefully—because he'd learned the hard way by barging in on an angry waterbender near a tub full of water—he opened the door and peeked in. She was sitting on the edge of the tub in her underwear, her legs and arms crossed.

He raised his eyebrow at the underwear she had. It was a far cry from what she'd worn during the war, and even different from the few times he'd seen her in her underwear since. With her legs crossed, he almost couldn't tell she had on any bottoms, except for the black fabric hugging her hips. Did she get new underwear just for their secret mission? It probably wasn't the best time to ask her, since she still looked pretty mad. The top kept her breasts firmly against her body, and it covered as much as possible, which, Zuko decided, was a terrible shame.

When he finally looked at her face, he saw she was giving him a very stern, disapproving look, which only made him smile, which only made her switch to the Wait Until We Get Home look she gave Aang when he got out of hand at the market. Which, of course, made him smile even more.

Zuko knelt in front of her and bowed low, his forehead touching the tile. "I beg your forgiveness, Master Waterbender Katara, greatest and most heavenly beautiful warrior to have ever walked this earth, for my transgressions against you." He looked up at her, but she still had her arms crossed. "I promise to repay you exactly one favor, at the time of your choosing, with the understanding that this favor will not involve hurting others, forgoing my duties as Fire Lord at any time of the day or night, giving in to some ridiculous schedule you decide I should have, abdicating my throne and naming you Supreme Leader of the Fire Nation, or giving up my dessert, unless by "giving up," you mean slathering it on you."

Zuko waited, and when Katara still didn't do anything, he kissed her knee. She only turned her nose up, so Zuko leaned further up, kissing the inside of her thigh. She tensed, but she still refused to look at him. Zuko smiled, and did something he knew she couldn't resist. He licked from her knee, up her thigh, right until his face was buried in her crotch, her hand was gripping his hair, and she was panting. He sucked on her thigh and her hand trembled in his hair. Zuko brought his hands up on either side of her, resting against the tub. Again, he licked, then sucked. She moaned. He bit.

"Really, Kitten, all you had to do was ask."

"We should really take that bath, now," Katara said, breathless.

"You'll have to let go of my hair."

"Oh. Right. Of course." Slowly, she did so, smoothing down his hair where she messed it up, and Zuko started undressing. She was watching him, her eyes roaming over his chest, and following his hands as they loosened his pants before he pulled them off.

"My eyes are up here," he said. He smiled when Katara started blushing. She turned her back to him and finished undressing. They both got in the tub.

The steam was comforting, and Zuko leaned back, halfway closing his eyes. He watched Katara focus on making little whirlpools in the water in front of her. She did have a point about the final battle. Having a plan made all the difference; they weren't just going in with the vague idea of taking down Ozai and defeating Azula. They'd been organized, and everyone had a job. Whether they would be fighting in the capitol where Ozai was being crowned Phoenix King and Azula designated Fire Lord, or down at the docks taking down the airship fleet before the two legs of the army met up, or taking the battle to Ba Sing Se to liberate it, everyone had a role, and knew what needed to be done to fulfill that role.

And politics did have a way of making you feel useless and powerless. After his first few council meetings, Zuko finally understood why Iroh was constantly pushing him to play pai sho, and he realized that Iroh had never given up hope of Zuko taking the throne. So much that Iroh had taught him during his years at sea directly related to what was going on politically in the Fire Nation. It was political maneuvering, and it was a completely different battle that often made Zuko feel inadequate when he realized, sometimes days later, he'd just been cheated in a deal. Battle with his bending and his swords was his strength. It was skill and strategy; it was manageable. There was some measure of knowability about battle, because he could always count on his physical strength, no matter what the circumstances were.

"You know," he said aloud, "I'm a little excited, too."

"Really?" Katara asked, lowering her voice, biting her lip, and touching herself. "I can help with that."

Zuko opened his eyes fully and regarded her with curiosity and amusement. And, admittedly, excitement of a different sort. "I was talking about the battle. You know, the one tomorrow night where we're infiltrating a prison guarded by Ozai's elite and most dangerous team, where we'll likely suffer serious injury?"

Katara blushed and sunk into the water.

"Bed get a little lonely sometimes?"

"It's not like Aang…you know, he's only fifteen. He was raised by monks for Yue's sake, you know purity of body and mind and all that. He's been trying so hard to hold onto the ways of his people and… He wasn't ready, and he made that _very_ clear. I respected his wish, and found a quiet corner of the house, though I didn't tell him about that."

Zuko tried to picture what happened between Aang and Katara, and just what Aang said to make it clear. He imagined that maybe Katara tried to set up a romantic date that led back to a bedroom. Or maybe she kissed him and started to grope, because she liked to do that. It wasn't hard to imagine how horrified and scared and confused Aang might have been.

For some reason, everyone had decided Zuko should be the one to have _The Talk_ with Aang, and this without Zuko's input. He'd tried very hard to be as business-like an informative about the whole thing as possible, even though it was still awkward because they were both likely thinking about the same girl with varying degrees of detail in their minds. Aang hadn't been as naïve as everyone expected him to be, but he'd still been uncomfortable talking about it. Katara probably wouldn't tell him what happened if he asked.

"I remember what I was thinking about at fifteen," he said instead.

"Yeah, _finding_ Aang."

"Oh, come on!"

"You were the single, most stubborn, oddly focused—"

"Fuck you."

"Please."

They looked at each other from across the tub, then started laughing.

"I'm telling you, something's got to be wrong with us that _this_ is the conversation we're having," Zuko said.

"Inara and Atem had it right. We are crazy."

They were silent a minute.

"Zuko? I'm serious." She was stalking toward him, predator like. Like Sokka toward a steaming bowl of Gran's stew. Zuko was meat, and she was going to devour him.

Smirking, Zuko got out of the tub, wrapping a towel around his waist and steaming himself dry. Katara let out some odd, frustrated noise, and no sooner had he sat down on the bed, than she came storming out of the bathroom, stark naked, bending the water off her body. He was about to get up, but she roughly shoved him down and straddled him.

"Zuko? I'm serious."

Before he could say anything else, she unwrapped the towel and started stroking him firmly, rubbing her thumb over the head of his quickly hardening length. She smiled as she leaned down to kiss him, and he guided them further back on the bed, the towel dropping forgotten to the floor. He moaned when she picked up the pace.

"I'm going to hazard a guess that Lady Ama wasn't as forthcoming as she could have been."

She was smiling smugly, and Zuko brought her down for another kiss, just to wipe that stupid grin off her face. He ran his tongue over her lips and she parted for him, and he dipped his tongue into her mouth, but Katara fought back. She was stroking him faster, taking control, but Zuko was determined not to let her.

He ran his hand up the inside of her thigh, and she shuddered into the kiss until he stroked her, felt her wetness, and dipped a finger inside her. She broke the kiss, bringing her hips down on his finger, willing him to go further inside. Zuko took the moment to flip her, and when she tried to fight back, he slipped down to the edge of the bed, hooking her legs over his shoulders as he crouched down. He repeated what he'd done earlier, licking from the inside of her knee all the way up her leg, stopping just short of the place she wanted him to be the most. He kissed and sucked and she panted and grabbed his hair, trying to direct him. He didn't bother to swat her away.

He ran his tongue in little circles up and down both sides of her thighs until she was quivering and begging him, her voice hoarse with passion. When it was nothing more than a repeated whisper, he licked long and slow right down her center, curling his tongue when it hit that bundle of nerves that turned her into jelly. She arched her back so that only her hips and her head were touching the bed, and he took that as his cue to suckle, using his fingers to stroke and pump, licking up every last drop that spilled from her, savoring it because it was her.

She was clenching around his fingers, and he brought her to her first orgasm, placing little kisses along her thighs and her hips and her stomach, trailing up to the valley between her breasts until he was laying beside her, caressing her face. He loved the way she looked in her post-orgasm glow, pink tongue darting out to lick full lips, the way she sometimes caressed her own breasts as she rode the last of the wave. The way she would turn to him, hungry for more.

Before she could roll on him, he was on top of her, kissing her neck, her nails carving trails down his back. She arched into him, and when he bent down to take her nipple in his mouth, she was still slick, rubbing against him, and he shuddered. Katara rolled him over, and before he could fight back, she had him in her hand again, stroking slowly, her lip caught between her teeth.

"I'm not the only one who needed this," she said as he gasped and his hips bucked.

She guided him into her, never breaking eye contact, and Zuko never wanted anything more. Their chests heaved together, they breathed together, he could even swear their hearts were beating together, but she didn't move, just sat, breathing, looking at him. He didn't even care, just grabbed the most perfect ass the spirits could ever conceive, and held her there.

"I love you," she said, and he knew she was going to say it. "I love you, and I want to do this for the rest of my life, and I don't want to hide anymore."

"I love you, too." It was the only thing that made sense in his mind. To love her and to let her love him. To stop fighting it, and to give in. To feel like this for the rest of his days. To let her share not only his pain, but his happiness.

Something he couldn't name passed between them, and she started moving, and they intertwined their hands, and this time was so much better than all the rest. He could feel her in places he hadn't felt her before, in places he hadn't known he had. He was afraid he'd crush her perfect fingers, so he moved his hands back to her perfect ass and he pushed and pulled, and she rode him like the tide.

Zuko had the odd sensation that he was falling up, and he clung to her harder, and when she bent down to kiss him, he wondered if she could taste the ashes on his tongue. They were all hands, touching, groping, caressing, pulling closer, never pushing apart, and when his own release coming, she bent her hands and pulled the blood back and away, his peak receding.

"No," she said, "don't let it be over yet."

So he flipped her on her back and slammed into her, and she screamed, ripping her nails down his back, pulling his hair so hard it was painful, using her legs to keep him from going too far back, and it wasn't long before he could feel his release coming again. She was moaning and he was moaning, and he didn't even have to ask her to bite him, because her teeth were on his collarbone, biting hard, and he growled low in his chest.

He had to let her back on top, even if he did prefer to top. He was already breathing steam.

"Give me your fire," she commanded, tracing the path from his lower stomach to his neck, caressing his cheeks, both scarred and unscarred. The heat built as the pressure built, and he wanted to cry because this is the way it was supposed to be, and he'd hate all the world if he never had this chance again.

They came together, Katara letting out a loud moan and throwing her head back so the tips of her hair tickled his thighs as he shot a bright gust of blue fire straight into the air, breathing smaller puffs after it. He watched her in the remnants of the blue firelight, the way she glistened, the way she was sent into shadow and relief as she moved her hands up and down his chest, then up and down her own.

There was nothing else to say after that, nothing left to do but to collapse against each other and sleep.

"Mom will love you," Zuko whispered as he closed his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

They slept for a long time, Zuko laying nearly on top of Katara. Around sunset, he drifted back into consciousness. He expected to feel achy and tired, but the only emotion he could understand was excitement. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he pulled Katara closer against him, breathing her in and holding her in his lungs as if that would keep her there forever. He kissed her neck and she sighed as he ran his hand over her shoulder, down her side, and across the curve of her hip. She murmured his name in her sleep, and peace came over him, but it was quickly dislodged by another thought.

Not hiding meant letting everyone know, which meant he might be able to marry her, which meant she would be not just wife, but Fire Lady. And there were things about ruling the Fire Nation she didn't know, things he hadn't been able to tell her because she was still an outsider. These were things she might not understand, and things she would almost certainly not like. Zuko sighed and kissed her shoulder again. You think you solve one problem, and another is born.

But for now they had a job to do, and he would have to push that back until it could be looked at with a clearer mind. They needed to get ready, and he had two messages to send out. Reluctantly, he shook Katara.

"Go away," she said groggily.

"No. We've got stuff to do." He kissed her cheek before sliding out of bed and putting on fresh clothes. He pulled out his dao, checked the blades, and did the same for his dagger. He filled all four of Katara's waterskins, then checked the rope for any tears or fraying. When he satisfied himself that their gear was sound, he began rifling through the drawers, looking for paper.

Katara was rolling over in the bed, pulling the covers over her head. Muttering about lazy waterbenders, Zuko ripped the covers off her. He gave her ass two firm slaps, and she let out an angry scream, rolling onto her stomach and glaring at him.

"Have you lost your mind?"

He kissed away her glare, following her when she tried to move away, removing the blankets that she tried to replace.

"Quite possibly," he said.

Zuko went back to searching for paper, and found it in one of the drawers. He turned around to make sure Katara was getting out of the bed, and she did so reluctantly. On the paper, he drew a crude map of the area, from the inn to the prison, then wrote a quick note: _Phoenix Brigade. Exterminate. Rehabilitation not possible. Proceed with extreme caution. _

This was the part about being Fire Lord he hated the most. He could live with the meetings, having to go over so many documents, and figuring out just where all the money had gone. It was weighing someone's deeds against the value of their life that got to him. He'd been on the wrong side of that decision once, and that was the whole reason he and Katara were in the tiny Fire Nation town and running through the forest, fighting like the war was still going on. Azulon said he wasn't worth keeping, his mother thought otherwise, Ozai agreed with Azulon, and she paid a heavy price. This was another wrong he needed to right. And not just because of that horrible nagging guilt that's been eating at him since he was ten.

He would be a negligent leader if he let the Phoenix Brigade live, especially since they were so pro-Ozai. All he needed was for them to hook up with someone in the Earth Kingdom who hated his guts, or who still distrusted him for his part in the coup. That would make all the other assassination attempts look like a training exercise and give some nut the chance to re-launch the war, destroying the peace so many people died to establish. Sometimes he divided people into 'good' and 'bad' categories, though he knew this was dangerous and horribly reductive. Too many times, he would have fallen in the bad category and not have been able to redeem himself. Still, it made signing the death warrant easier.

"We can grab a quick meal. I need to see if Atem is still here so she can deliver a message for me." He turned to face Katara.

She was pulling her shirt over her head, then tucking it into her pants. He stood in the middle of the room, just breathing and watching Katara as her hands moved quickly through her hair, braiding it.

"Did you get new underwear just for this mission?" Now was as good a time as any to ask.

Katara stopped braiding and looked at him. She blinked a few times before smiling and braiding again. She didn't answer until she was done. "Maybe. Maybe not."

Zuko rolled his eyes, but he smoothed the fabric at her hips, admiring the way it clung to her. He leaned in a little, and Katara stood on the tips of her toes, throwing her arms around his neck. She kissed him sweetly, innocently, and those were the kisses that made him feel like a gangly, uncertain teenager.

"Do you think your mom really would like me?"

"Yes," Zuko said after a brief pause. He hadn't thought she'd heard that. "Yes." This time he said it with more conviction.

He nodded toward the door, and Katara let go of him. Zuko grabbed the letter and ten gold coins before following her out of the room. She looked at the money, but he only shook his head. When they passed Gen and his mother at the front desk, Gen was eyeing them funny. He looked between the two of them, then smirked, as if he knew something they didn't. Zuko kicked himself. Gen had probably heard Katara moaning, and came to his own conclusions, which were undoubtedly right.

He leaned on the front desk and fixed Gen with a firm stare while sliding some of the money across the desk.

"You can make trouble, and I can make trouble. But remember, any trouble I make will always be bigger, worse, more damaging personally, and far more destructive to your property."

If anyone was going to start talking about him and Katara seriously as a couple, it would be him, and he would do it in a controlled manner. Hopefully, and in his own time. The old woman looked absolutely horrified, then glared at her son.

"Yeah? You don't even live down here. What's to stop me from telling who shares your bed?"

"How loyal are you to the White Lotus Society?" Zuko asked, addressing Gen's mother.

"I've been helping them out every way I know how since I was a little girl," she said, proudly. "I would remove my own tongue before I betray them." Gen scoffed at the overdramatic remark, but Zuko didn't doubt her sincerity.

"Good," he said, lifting his hair so that she could see his scar. "See to it that your son keeps his mouth closed. I've got enough shit to worry about without him, and you've been good to us, so I don't really want to cause trouble for you."

The old woman gasped, and seemed quite on the verge of having a heart attack, even more so when Katara came over and put her hand on Zuko's back.

"Atem's here," she said. When she noticed what Zuko was doing, she slapped his hand and his hair fell back in place. "Cut that out, Zuko." She turned to the old woman. "Please don't bow to him, you'll draw too much attention."

It seemed to click just who Katara was, and if it was possible, the old lady's eyes got wider, and she seemed to understand the situation. "So the rumors are true!"

"Some of them, anyway," Zuko said, pushing the money toward her with a grin. "But I'm not saying which ones." Dammit, that goofy teenager feeling was still with him, and Katara's hand was still on his back, and he decided that's where it belonged.

"I can get twice that for this information."

Zuko was about to say something threatening and to question what happened to Gen being afraid of him, but Gen's mother gave him a hard uppercut to the stomach. Gen doubled over in pain and melted to the floor below the counter as Zuko and Katara looked on in shock.

"You both have my word that your secret is safe. For what it's worth, I think you're exactly what this nation needs: a little love and commitment. And never you mind what I said before about Hau and that agreement. May the Lotus always bloom, my lord, my lady," the woman whispered as she dumped the money in the front of her shirt and nearly bowed to them.

"May the Lotus always bloom," Zuko returned.

Katara was trying to correct the old woman, but Zuko just pulled her toward Atem's table.

"Why're you letting her think we're together like that? Won't that cause you some problems?"

Zuko stopped when they were nearly to Atem's table at the back of the front room. "Last night…" He couldn't quite bring himself to look at Katara, just in case she would say she hadn't meant it. "Last night, you said you were tired of hiding. You said you were ready."

When a quick glance showed Katara's face lighting up, he knew that she'd meant every word. She was ready to stop hiding in dark corners and ducking into storage closets and travelling through secret tunnels for late night trysts and secret cuddles. Zuko thought he could be ready for her, but quite frankly, he found the idea a little scary. He squeezed her shoulder, knowing the gesture was more than inadequate, but that it was all they could do. For now. He smirked. What would Uncle say when he realized the answer to all his questions about Zuko's loneliness were staring him in the face with a smile and stunning blue eyes?

Atem had already ordered a light dinner and jasmine tea, and the meal was waiting for them when they sat down.

"Here's something you might be interested in knowing," Atem said as soon as they sat down, swirling the tea in her cup. "Your stalker friends were both here today. They asked Gen about Hau's latest hunters."

"Shit." Zuko scanned the parlor for the two, but he didn't see them. Giddiness mixed with anxiety. He'd been thinking about it off and on, and he couldn't make up his mind about who on his long list of possibilities was most likely to send someone after him. Ozai's supporters, maybe, but they wouldn't be tracking if Zuko was so close to the prison and Ursa. They would have attacked by then.

"Don't get your panties bunched," Atem said, gesturing at Zuko with her chopsticks. "I scared them off."

"How?" Katara asked, almost disbelieving.

"Have you so little faith in me? I've been working for your boyfriend here for _years_ and I haven't failed him yet."

"He's not my boyfriend." Katara said halfheartedly and with a bright smile.

"You know, it doesn't have the same effect when only one of you says it, and that with a silly little grin on her face."

Katara blushed and looked at Zuko, who was also smiling. If they were going to be together, and people were going to understand that it was for love, there needed to be someone who could say that was true. He found it weird, though, that he was just now getting that stupid fluttering feeling in his stomach. It's not like they could walk into the capitol holding hands and everything would be alright. They'd have to struggle and fight and scheme. He'd have to make political concessions, grease some palms, let her in on all those Fire Lord secrets…

"That's completely beside the point," Katara was saying, trying to regain her composure. "We're about to put ourselves in some serious danger, and we need to be sure we don't have people waiting to ambush us."

"I can't ever guarantee you that," Atem said, "but what I can guarantee is that you need to muzzle Gen. He hates your guts, now, and the political storm he could cause by talking about your delicious bedroom habits will be nothing compared to him telling people their Fire Lord is doing some secret undercover spying, especially since he'll have to make up most of the details. That and I'm pretty sure no one knows you're here, right? If they did, they certainly wouldn't have let you come alone."

Zuko was about to protest and say he wasn't alone, but Atem was rolling her eyes.

"She doesn't count."

Zuko groaned and let his head drop to the table.

"Although, letting him confirm rumors about who you make scream in the night will take care of some concerns expressed by a few council members. Unless you intend to confirm those rumors yourselves."

Zuko was glad he couldn't see Atem. She was probably going to laugh at him, and it would be loud and it would draw the attention of too many people, which would only make things worse.

"Concerns?" Katara asked. She was poking his shoulder.

"I've never made a show of taking a woman into my bedroom," Zuko said. "Even Uncle is concerned about my 'loneliness'." He could already feel himself blushing, and was very comfortable keeping his head on the table where his hair might hide most of it. "Some members of my council are concerned that I won't be…_inclined_ to make an heir."

"Well, that's just ridiculous," Katara said, huffing. Mercifully, she stopped there and didn't claim any private knowledge of his preferences. He really didn't think it was appropriate conversation given the circumstances, and would be quite glad when they moved on. Atem started laughing, and didn't seem to care about stopping.

"And could you please stop making thinly veiled references to what goes on behind doors that I close?" Zuko asked Atem.

Atem snorted and turned to Katara. "We all heard you down here, honey."

It was a few minutes before all remnants of Atem's laughter were gone. Feeling comfortable enough to slightly lift his head from the table, Zuko pulled out the letter and pushed it toward her.

"When's the next time you'll meet with the White Lotus?"

"When do you want me to?"

"Soon."

Outside, the sun had dipped below the horizon, and Katara was squeezing his leg with a resigned sigh.

"We should be leaving soon."

"Eager to head into danger?" Atem asked.

"Eager to be out of it." Katara shrugged.

"Before we go," Zuko said, facing Atem. "What did you do to those guys to scare them off?"

Atem smiled. "This might make you feel better. They're not fighters at all. Their job is simply to track. What you really want to know is who wants you followed."

"How did—"

Zuko held up his hand for silence. "I'm going to hazard a guess that her answering a different question instead is code for don't ask, and I won't have to tell. You only ask after that if you really, really want to know. And can live with the answer."

Atem nodded sagely. She tipped her glass to them, then downed it in one gulp. "Lotus ever blooming and all that muck." Zuko and Katara returned the salute properly before heading back upstairs to get their weapons.

Outside in the night, Zuko stood and let the moment become real. They were heading into danger, and while they knew the trackers weren't fighters, it didn't erase the fact that someone else was hunting them, too. Releasing a breath, Zuko adjusted the strap for his dao, considered the placement of his dagger, then thought better of it.

Pulling it out of his belt, he handed it to Katara. "I want you to have this just in case."

Without arguing, she accepted it, and tucked the dagger into the sash at her waist. They stepped into the forest and followed the now familiar path to the prison, each keeping alert for any attackers. Zuko willed himself into a meditative state, opening his mind to the world around him, reaching for that inner flame that would give him the strength he needed. He concentrated on balance and harmony, just in case he needed lightning. Which he probably would. Guilt, he locked back in that tiny room with all the bad war memories. He didn't need that now.

Hearts pounding, they stopped half a mile out from the wall and climbed a tree, opting to go overhead, rather than sneak up and wait for the guards to pass. In the minute interval, this would give them more time to get closer to the prison before having to hide again.

Zuko frequently checked behind him to make sure Katara was able to keep up, and that no one was following them. She struggled a bit with the branches, but was able to use her bending to counterbalance her lack of stealth. Zuko was thankful for a breeze that night; had the branches been moving in still wind, the guards would have been suspicious. They kept a close eye on the circulating guards, and with a series of awkward hand gestures and mimed actions, they decided to circle the prison and see if there'd been any change in the way the guards were gathered.

As they made their final circuit, Katara bent the branches into a solid bridge, allowing them to move quicker from one place to the next. It was a handy skill she said she learned from the swamp benders. It would have been useful earlier, but they'd agreed to not let Inara know they were benders. The less she knew about them, the better.

There had been no change in the guard. The majority of them were still clumped together on the left side of the prison, but for the moment, they were still toward the front. The metal door was propped open at the back of the building, which Zuko was sure was seriously against regulations, but it could mean a lucky break for them. The night was a little warmer than it had been the past few days, and with the windows sealed and barred, the brick building was probably roasting like an oven. After more awkward hand movements and miming, they agreed to take the less guarded route, even though it would leave them without cover. Speed would have to carry them through. Crouched low, Zuko and Katara headed back to the shady overhang Inara showed them.

Zuko dropped down first, rolling into a crouch and doing his best to stick to the very slim shadow against the wall. He didn't even wait for Katara's feet to firmly hit the ground before he began inching around the perimeter of the wall toward the back entrance. He listened carefully as the soldiers joked and laughed at the front of the building. Some of their words sounded a little slurred, and Zuko wondered if there was even anyone at the prison, or if they were just waiting for someone to show up. Their ease at getting inside seemed to suggest that it wasn't even active.

Perhaps things wouldn't be so hard after all. He should really try this new optimistic thing Sokka told him about.

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><p>AN: We're halfway there! There've been a few people who said they were frustrated with Zuko running off and not being Fire Lordy. I've pm'd mostly everyone, but in case some of you are still feeling frustrated with him...continue to do so! I'm not going to lie-it is completely irresponsible for Zuko to be running off so soon after the war when much still needs to be accomplished. Perfect characters are, however, imperfect for fiction, and when the house comes crashing down...


	9. Chapter 9

_Dammit all to hell! I'm sorry, folks. **Lilako** pointed out, there is supposed to be a break between Long and Chem's POVs. Apparently, this damn website didn't like what I did before. Hopefully this will show up, and eliminate some confusion (if there was any)_

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><p>Long watched as Zuko and Katara made their way over the shady spot that Inara showed them. He threw himself behind the trunk of the tree when Zuko looked his way, and waited for thirty counts before chancing another look. He knew Fei and half a dozen others were watching from different angles, so he wasn't worried about missing anything. They'd been crouched in position, waiting silently since the sun had gone down, and it looked like they were finally going to see some action.<p>

Zuko and Katara had moved on, pushing closer to the door the Phoenix Brigade propped open earlier. When Katara pulled Zuko back, slipping inside the door easier than he ever could, Long let out an owl cat hoot. It was the signal that everything was supposed to begin. The Phoenix Brigade continued their impromptu celebration. An offering to the spirits before the sacrifice came, they'd called it. Long wondered from what cesspool Ozai drug these creatures. He also wished Chem would be a lot less paranoid and distrustful and just be open about things. He'd discussed it with Inara several times, but they'd been unable to convince Chem that partnering with the Fire Lord and Ambassador Katara would be the best course of action. Sure, they could have talked to the gathered on their own, but many of them saw Chem as their leader, and had pledged their loyalty to Chem and Chem's vision. They would see Long and Inara as upstarts, trying to ruin what they were working for.

The owl cat call was being echoed all the way back to their base camp. The archers would be in place, waiting in case they needed to back up the Fire Lord and the ambassador. Long pulled his own bow and arrow from where he'd stashed it in the branches above him. The archers in the trees were to take out as many of the Phoenix Brigade soldiers hanging around outside once the fighting started. They would go inside only if things were starting to look bad; inside belonged to the two master benders. The owl cat hoot was getting fainter and fainter. Soon, the silent horde would move.

Long sighed. Chem's fanaticism toward the Lady Ursa would get people killed. He wondered if she even knew that Chem had raised an army under her name. As far as he knew, the two hadn't talked in close to two years, and it had only been a year ago that the army had been gathered. The majority of these people weren't loyal to her at all, and Chem was their only vague connection to the woman. If they found her alive in that prison, it would be a miracle, and then he'd really get to see what she thought of Chem's actions.

/

Chem admitted that he was a little scared when the owl cat hoot reached camp. As always, there was the possibility that she would not be there, that he would barge in, and all the effort to find her would be wasted. The roots of Ozai's supporters ran deep, and they seemed to be everywhere. This was another testament to the weakness of the new Fire Lord.

This wasn't the time for reminiscing. This was the time for him to be a strong leader, and he turned to the rag tag group of soldiers and benders and people who just happened to know which end of the sword to use. Being commander of an army was a skill he learned through trial and error, and he would never say he was a great tactical mind, but he managed to get the job done. He'd come a long way, and felt largely confident in his ability to make others see the rightness of his position—that he'd gathered such a large army had to speak to his skill.

"They may have skill on their side," he said, raising his voice to them in imitation of a motivational speech, "but we have numbers. These men are vile brutes with only destruction on their minds. But we also have our cunning, and we will use all of our tools to reach our desired end. This includes our most powerful weapon—Fire Lord Zuko. Inara assures me that he means to find his mother, but I would not doubt that he would turn on us given the chance. Treat him with caution, and stay out of his way if it is at all possible. We must not attack the Fire Lord and Master Waterbender Katara. Our main goal is to free the Fire Lady Queen Mother Ursa."

They wouldn't risk a cheer, but Chem could see the nods of approval bob through their ranks. He took in a shaking breath. This was the closest to war he'd ever gotten, and it was still much too close. His strength was behind the palace walls, pushing and pulling secrets. He folded his hands behind his back as he nodded to the commander, and let the semi-professionals take over.

He wouldn't abandon them, and as they began to march past, he fell in with the last of them, helping to bring up the rear. He wished Sun could have been there to see it. They'd both served Ursa as princess-Chem as Ursa's secretary, and Sun as the head of her personal maids. Sun would have been good company, and together they could speak fondly about the old days. They could think on how beautiful Ursa had been on her wedding day, how she'd won over so many people set on disliking her, and how she dealt with those still determined to hurt her. But the old days were old and gone, and he was the only one left from Ursa's house, back when she was just Lady Ursa and travelling from Kirachu to the capitol to meet her husband for the first time.

Gone. Banished. Executed. Suicide. They'd all fallen away, petals dropping from the center of the dying flower that was, back then, Princess Ursa. The universe is imperfect, he knew, but it was unfair the way so much was heaped on such a kind hearted woman. Her best friend, Na, had made a special trip to the capitol to proclaim loyalty to Ozai over Ursa, but that hadn't stopped Ozai's fiends from harassing her until she had no choice but to vanish, too. Beautiful Kirachu had been devastated by the loss of two of its major governing families, and Ozai moved in, stripping it of the last of its uniqueness, and so very little of the life he had known remained. There was no place that he could call home, and the anger welled up inside him. The Fire Nation was still at war; it was warring with itself, and he would see peace, and this army and the noose around that Fire Lord's neck would be the first step to seeing things set straight.

He looked at the column spreading out in front of him. There were easily one hundred, one hundred fifty of them. They'd come from all over, and they were ready at his command. Chem smiled to himself. Wouldn't Ursa be surprised at all the support she had. They had swords on their backs and at their hips, knives and staffs, and their bending at the ready. He was most proud of the benders—fire benders come to take back the Fire Nation for the people from the hands of a corrupt government. They stalked through the forest, disappearing when they entered shadow, their existence only confirmed by the light of the moon.

Chem hung back. Mixed with the fear was the excitement of seeing her again. He knew in his heart that she had to be here, locked in a forested dungeon, but the eyes he sent to spy were determined to tell him otherwise. The Phoenix Brigade was too lax they said, like they were on vacation, taking it easy before this next woman was brought it. But it had been one of Ursa's closest allies that brought him the information. She would not lie to him. He knew it. She would not lie to him, Chem, who had been so faithful to her since the moment he was assigned to her household. Chem, who had carried her secrets around the palace, helped her in her plans to keep Ozai away from the throne and thus preserve a few more lives. She had no one, and would not turn her back on him. Ursa was too kind, her heart too big for such a thing. The only explanation was that they were keeping her somewhere even further out of sight, possibly a secret room where they weren't concerned about her escaping. Perhaps she was the only prisoner there, which was why they could be outside drinking. She was not a fighter; she only knew her poisons and without those, she was defenseless.

He sighed as they neared the prison compound. She'd remained strong through it all, taking her punishment when there was no escape, and never losing hope that things might be different one day. She had more strength and courage than he, and for that, he had no problem bending his knee whenever it was required. Now, though, there was no need for the bending of knees. Others would bow to her because he had come to give her strength. He was hers to command, and he commanded the army. He would not have her remain defenseless.

The commander ahead was signaling to everyone to stop and spread out. As Chem had planned, they were going to surround the prison and enter in waves, overwhelming their enemies. This order was carried out in near silence, what little noise they made mostly was swallowed by the forest. Fei came down from a tree and trotted over to greet him, bowing before speaking.

"They've entered at the rear of the building, sir. Everything is going smoothly. The Phoenix guys are also enjoying some spirits."

"Hard liquor?" Chem asked. He watched the men and women spreading out, fading into the shadows better in smaller groups. Their faces were set with grim determination that would have made a seasoned commander proud.

"Yes, sir. We don't question their motives. We just take advantage of the situation."

"We are poised to do this immediately, yes?"

"Of course, sir. The archers are already in place."

Chem patted Fei's shoulder. "Good. Now do me one last favor."

"Sure."

"Stay away from Inara and Long. I do not want their ideas to infect you. There may be a time when they are no longer welcome among us."

Fei looked confused for a moment. Fei was too good for Chem to lose to Inara and Long's inane babble. He would not have them spreading dissention, and all it would take would be some well placed words to convince people that Inara and Long had changed sides. They would do the hard work of weeding out the backstabbing ingrates who would turn their noses up at Chem and tell him he's overreacting. He knew what he saw, knew what he heard, knew what he felt in his gut. No one knew the pain the Lady Mother felt when she saw her children in Ba Sing Se. No one but him because he'd been there since the beginning. Whatever claim they may feel they have to Ursa was nothing compared to his.

If they decided they would support the Fire Lord in his conquest of the nations, then nothing would be able to save them. Former Fire Lord Azulon had said it himself: there was more than one way to conquer a nation, and he'd done it with Ren Island in the Earth Kingdom. Force people into a treaty that manages to benefit you more than them, make them afraid of you, station your armies on their shores, and who can tell the difference between 'treaty' and 'takeover'?

Fei nodded, trotting off to the front of the column, and began speaking with the captain. While Chem was watching Fei and the captain, an arrow shot out from the trees, and thudded into the back of a soldier who was heading in the back door of the compound. The Phoenix Brigade man dropped dead to the ground.

That first dead body seemed to wake everyone up, and the Phoenix Brigade soldiers relaxing about the courtyard came to life a little wobbly. Chem's soldiers began moving faster, moving into position as the archers in the trees readied their bows and arrows. Someone noticed the dead body and sounded the alarm.

All hell broke loose.

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><p>AN: Sorry that this one was mostly exposition. I hadn't realized that until I went to upload it. Hope it's not too overbearing, but I needed to get a lot of this in here. Next chapter everything goes down, and I will apologize in advance for my bad action scene writing.


	10. Chapter 10

Warning: Violence ahead. And possible bad action scene writing.

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><p>Without much incident, Zuko and Katara made it to the back door. It should have been sending warning bells all through his head, but there was only the thrum of anticipation. Katara yanked the back of his shirt, shaking her head, and stepped in front. There was no way he'd be able to slip through the door without opening it even more, which would alert whoever was standing inside, but Katara slipped through easily. A second later, there was a thud, and she was holding the door open to him. Inside, the guard was lying unconscious on the floor face down. Zuko took out a precut section of rope, and they hog monkey tied him to an exposed pipe, stuffing an old rag in his mouth. It would take him a while to get himself free, and having one person alive for questioning was always a good strategy.<p>

Inside, it was extremely warm, and the smell of fire whiskey was strong. Maybe they were having some sort of celebration. Zuko hoped they weren't celebrating the impending arrival of a new prisoner. When Katara started ahead of him, he pulled her behind him and fixed her with a firm stare. Though her stealth skills were better on the ground than in the air, he was still better at it than she was.

They were in what used to be the kitchen. It had been converted into a break room for the guards, but the one charged with watching the back door was the only person in there. Hugging the walls, Zuko peeked around the corner. A handful of them were gathered in the hallway, drinking and talking. He scanned for anything that could be used as a distraction, and found a few shot glasses in one of the cabinets.

He stepped up close behind Katara so he could whisper in her ear. "That hallway's full of them. I'll try to lure them back in small groups. Kill them if you have to. I've ordered their termination, anyway." She reached for his hand and gave it a small squeeze; support for what she knew was a hard decision. Zuko would be glad when they could put all of this behind them, even if it did thrill him to be in combat again with his favorite partner.

Taking the glasses, Zuko walked up to the edge of the doorway as Katara slinked back into the shadows. The roof had exposed beams, and Zuko climbed on top of the counter before hauling himself onto the beams. He gave their customary three count, then dropped the first glass.

"What was that?" The chattering in the hallway died down as a few of the guards turned toward the break room.

"I suppose someone should make sure Mikko didn't fall asleep on the job again." Two of the men broke away from the group, and Zuko held up two fingers to Katara to let her know how many were coming.

As they headed toward her, Zuko carefully broke one of the glasses into shards. With gloved hands, he picked up one of the larger pieces, and hoped he'd learned enough from watching Mai with her stilettos and senbon to know where and how to aim small pointy objects. The first thud came from the kitchen, followed quickly by a muffled yelp and a second thud. By the time the second body dropped, Zuko had his target and trajectory, and threw the shard.

"Ah, what the hell!" the man screamed, clutching his forehead. It wasn't quite what Zuko was going for. He was aiming for the eye, but that worked as well. By now, they'd drawn the attention of nearly every member of the Phoenix Brigade that was standing in the hallway, and they were on alert, although some of them were buzzed. Zuko would take a break where he could get one.

When he didn't provide another distraction quick enough, he heard cabinets slamming in the kitchen. While two of the guards struggled with the shard of glass stuck in the forehead of the third, three more walked into the kitchen. Zuko picked out two more shards of glass. The first one hit its mark in the back of the neck of the guard nearest to him, and when the man turned around to see what got him, Zuko managed to get the eye as planned.

He doubled over and howled in pain, and Zuko decided that he should take up knife throwing. More yells and thuds came from the kitchen, and he scooted back along the beams to avoid detection, and to see how Katara was faring just as the guards' attention turned toward the ceiling where someone swore they saw something move. He almost gasped when he turned around, only to be met with a pair of large blue eyes. Katara had climbed onto the roof beams. Five men lay dead on the kitchen floor. She hadn't taken any chances. He pointed the way up ahead, pushing Katara in front and onto a different roof beam, several to the right of where he'd been. The best thing about this group was that they lacked ranged weapons. If they wanted to attack Zuko and Katara while they were in the roof, they'd have to find some other way to do it. Zuko wasn't in the habit of teasing them, though.

Katara's way of picking off the Brigaders was much more effective, but then fire couldn't pierce the way ice did. She was forming more ice daggers, and sending them flying at the guards from different angles to keep them on their toes. If she kept it up like this, the White Lotus Society wouldn't need to come in for the extermination. Zuko took out another length of rope, wrapping it once around each hand, leaving slack in the middle. As the guard walked toward their position, his hand on his weapon, ready to draw, Zuko reached down with the rope and grabbed the man around the neck, much like he'd done when he rescued Aang from Zhao.

The man struggled, but with a sharp twist of the neck, his struggling ended. This drew the attention of the remaining guards to the proper place, and now they were facing a hallway of angry buzzed men. No longer seeing any point in secrecy, they decided to drop down, Katara first, while Zuko dropped the body. She used her ice to slice across the first man's throat to stifle the call he was about to give up. That left four more. Zuko dropped down on top of one, drew his right dao across the second's throat after parrying a blow with his left, while Katara barely dodged a punch from the third before spearing him in the side, and then she exploded the heart of the fourth before he completed the swing that would have lopped Zuko's arm off. This lasted, at the most, ten seconds. For better or worse, they made a good team. These are "bad men," Zuko told himself, relying on his "just do it, don't think about it" system. To try to save them and let them back into society would be killing a thousand others. Sacrifice the few for the greater number.

With the hallway clear, they could check the doors in peace. The first left hand door off the kitchen was a weapons room, and Zuko found a few more daggers and some throwing knives. Katara gave him a quizzical look, but he only smiled and tucked them into his belt. He urged her to take a few, but she was still only in the rough stages of training with Suki. She probably felt more comfortable with her water than with any steel.

The other doors had yielded nothing of interest, and it wasn't until they rounded a corner that the trouble started. It wasn't even from the inside; something was going on outside the compound where the majority of the soldiers were still gathered. An alarm had been raised, shrill and screaming and piercing, and suddenly, there were people everywhere, more people than it seemed that stupid building should have been able to hold.

"What the…?"

They had been caught by guards rounding the corner to answer the call in the courtyard. The ring of steel on steel and the whoosh of fire was muffled by the brick and wood walls, and Zuko took advantage of the momentary confusion by throwing a blast of fire at the man in front of him. Surprised and unready for a firebending attack, the man futilely drew his sword. It only deflected the bare minimum of the blow, and the smell of burning flesh and ash began to fill the hallway, accented by death screams.

For a moment, Zuko was taken back to that battle, the char of skin and fabric, the burning of old buildings and people's homes and that feeling that the end would never come, but he bit the inside of his cheek and gripped his dao tighter, the pain and coppery taste of blood a reminder of the here and now. Katara's back was to his back, and as he blasted the hallway full of fire, she blasted water in the other direction. They weren't the only people looking to infiltrate this prison, and there was no way of knowing if they were friend or foe, or if they were related to the ones who'd been tracking them. They had to be quick. Zuko wouldn't let them be caught.

Seeing as the wooden walls on Zuko's side of the hallway were on fire, Katara threw her water to his side, and when the hall filled with smoke and steam, she filled her waterskins, and kept the excess floating about her. They opened doors at random, hoping to find the cells, and when they did, it was quite obvious—they had bars instead of doors. All the others had been small bedrooms and storage closets, things that were of no use to them.

Several guards rounded the corner, and Zuko took advantage of the throwing knives just as Katara was spearing a few with a javelin of ice.

"What the hell is going on?" Zuko asked, not caring about how loud they were anymore.

"Seems like someone else had the same idea we did." Katara peered through the bars on one of the cells. When she turned to him, her face was grim, and she only shook her head. It wasn't his mother, and it was dead.

Zuko hadn't given much thought to what they would do if they found people alive. He'd hoped to be able to let the White Lotus team deal with it, to wash his hands of the entire ordeal and pretend he'd never been there, but nearly every cell they came upon was empty or only contained dead bodies. No wonder they'd been so lax. There was no one to guard.

But if there was no one to guard, that meant his mother couldn't be there. His mind flitted between being happy, devastated, and furious. Every door, every room yielded nothing, and he began slamming doors harder than necessary. It was too late to wonder if Atem had held that letter so long on purpose, or if she was really just following orders. She'd always seemed trustworthy when he gave her a job, but she never kept up any pretenses about how much her loyalty cost.

Kicking down a door, dao in hand, Zuko yelled in frustration.

"Where is she?" he demanded of the empty room

"I've checked everything on this side. Nothing."

Impulsively, Zuko started setting things on fire. He punched holes in the walls, letting the wood burn, ignoring the pain when the wood cut him and he started bleeding. The fired was pulsing with every breath he took, flaring brighter and brighter the angrier he got. Setting stuff on fire was not making him feel better, but he'd be damned if he let this place continue to stand.

"What are you doing?"

Instead of answering, he walked past her and into an oncoming crowd of the guards, giving voice to a low growl that lodged itself in his chest. They were clearly headed to the front of the house, but were surprised by the two intruders inside.

"You bastards again?"

Zuko charged forward, parrying a slash in the narrow hallway, stabbing sideways and catching the man in the kidney. Hot blood ran down his hands, and he shoved against the dying man with his foot to free his dao. He didn't feel the blade of another knick his bicep, even as he drove the pommel into the man's face, relishing the crunch. Katara was moving beside him, but he didn't stop to see what she was doing. He was punched in the stomach, and doubled over, trying to remember that strength came from breathing, not from anger, and brought the fire up and out of his throat in a blast that would have made Uncle proud. Or scared for him.

Katara jumped away from the flames, flinging herself against the wall. "Watch it!"

The fire was encroaching on them from both sides, so they took a different hallway, one that led them to rows of cells. Indeed, most of them were empty, and they passed these without much thought. Zuko called up the picture of the map Inara showed them, took a guess at where the torture chambers were. He needed to search as much of the house turned prison as possible. Even though it made him sick to think about her in the torture chambers, he needed to know. He tried to fight back the bile and the anger. He needed to know.

They came up behind another group of soldiers, and Zuko grabbed the first one by the hair and used a dao to open him from ear to ear. Blood mixed with smells of smoke and flesh and fire and ash, and still he pushed on, running the other dao through another's middle, ignoring the burning in his lungs. Setting stuff on fire might not have been a good idea in a building with virtually no ventilation, but it was too late to regret that. Katara was ahead of him, putting the dagger to better use than he thought she would. When she bent, her moves were those of a waterbender, but now she resembled Aang more than Suki, light on her feet, and bending her body in ways the bulkier man couldn't. Katara jabbed with the dagger, and when that missed, she bent low, sweeping her leg so that the man was knocked off balance and fell right onto Zuko's swords. She didn't look behind her, only plunging forward to stab the next in the neck.

The hall was too narrow for them to fight side by side, so they were forced to take turns in front. When a guard with a hammer came barreling down the hallway, Katara ducked, nearly catching it in the head. She froze the hammer to the wall, but he surprised her by immediately pulling out a dagger of his own and catching her across her cheek, slicing from ear to nose. Zuko came in low, stabbing on the side of the knee before slipping through his legs and spearing his back. What Zuko didn't see was the punch aimed at the back of his head. He staggered forward, dazed and falling onto hammer man, as another blow caught him in the ribs.

Everyone was starting to cough now. The smoke was quickly filling the building, not being able to escape through the sealed windows. With the air knocked out of him, Zuko was finding it hard to take in another breath. Another blow caught him on the shoulder, and the man dropped behind Zuko when Katara started slashing down the hall with her water, pushing smoke and people back and away from them. Her hands were on him, dragging him to his feet, even though he was still having trouble focusing. Boots pounded down the hallway into the chaos, and Katara tried to push Zuko into the nearest room. He pushed her back and took control of the fire that was raging around them, calling it along the hallways, and it raced toward him. His head was pounding, and he stumbled when he started seeing double. Katara grabbed him as the fire engulfed some of the running soldiers, and drug him into a room before slamming the door closed and jamming it with a chair. She slumped him against the door, then took his face in her hands.

"Can you see me?"

"Yes."

"Are you seeing double?"

He blinked harshly a few times. "Not anymore, I don't think."

She began probing his head. When she pulled her hand back, there was blood, and she wasted no time in gloving her hand with water. In the dim, blue light, Zuko saw just what kind of room they'd entered.

There was blood everywhere. Old dried blood splattered on the walls like an abstract painting. Blood no longer red, but brown, blood seeped into the pores of the walls and the floors. So much of it.

"Holy shit…"

He wanted to stand, but Katara was standing over him, forcing him back down. They struggled against each other until, aggravated, Zuko pushed her to the side, even if it did make his vision swim. Holding up a small flame in his hand, Zuko crawled to the bloody table set up at the far end of the room. He hadn't seen that hair pin for _years_. It had been his favorite, given to him by his mother for his eighth birthday to hold his crown in place. He'd worn it the day his mother had vanished, but when he went to look for it so he could wear it at Azulon's funeral it had been gone. He'd ordered the servants to help him search through everything in his room, and still it hadn't returned. He'd considered it a good luck charm. He was breathing steam and shaking when he picked it up. It was like his luck vanished with that hair pin.

With his mother.


	11. Chapter 11

It was all the confirmation he needed.

"She was here."

His voice was deadly low, and Katara ducked out of the way as he ripped lightning from the air and disintegrated the door and the man who'd picked the most inopportune time to try to open it. Zuko flew through it, ignoring Katara grabbing for him, and clamped his hand around the throat of the next person to cross his path.

"Where is she?" he demanded.

"We're looking—"

Any other response was obliterated as Zuko sent lightning through the man's body. It arced off Zuko's arm, singeing the wood and covering everything in an odd blue light. Zuko was prepared to ask the question again, but the man was limp in his hands. A dozen people clad in black were standing at the end of the smoking hallway, and Zuko cracked his knuckles.

"I will rip through every _single_ one of you until I get my answer," Zuko growled, his whole body shaking, the fire around them burning hotter.

Instead of attacking, they hastily dropped to their knees and bowed before him. He didn't care. That was probably her blood covering the table, her blood because of _him_, blood that should still be in her body, and he wouldn't stop until every last one of those bastards was dead. Zuko swore then he would rip apart heaven and hell, challenge Agni _himself_, to bring her to safety. He was preparing another bolt of lightning when Katara threw herself into him, knocking him into the wall and stopping the charge.

"Zuko, stop!" she yelled between coughs

He fought against her, and the only reason she could hold him back so long was that his vision was starting to blur again. Adrenaline was rushing through him, making his heart practically vibrate, and he was getting dizzy. Zuko swayed on his feet, but he refused to let that stop him. When she bloodbent him against the wall, he brought his eyes to hers.

"These aren't those Phoenix Brigaders," she yelled.

"Fire Lord Zuko, we are humble servants of your country and of the Fire Lady Queen Mother Ursa," one of the women on the floor was saying.

It wasn't clicking, and Katara was dragging him out of the building and into the cold air, and they were surrounded by coughing people. The courtyard was littered with more bodies, and it soon became clear why they'd had a relatively easy time taking out the Phoenix Brigade. Zuko had supposed that it would take a small army to overrun the fortress, and it seemed that's exactly what showed up.

Confused, Zuko stumbled, and Katara supported him until she sat him down at the base of a tree. She was prodding his mouth open and bending water down his throat, then drinking herself.

"He had brass knuckles when he hit you. You wouldn't let me finished checking, but I don't think you have a concussion." She pushed him back down when he tried to get up.

"Where the hell are you keeping her?" he demanded of the man walking toward them.

"It would be best if we talked elsewhere," he was saying.

"And let you take him captive? Fat chance," Katara said, water at the ready, positioning herself between the man and Zuko.

"She is safe. Ask Minister Hau about the Lily of the Valley, he will tell you—"

"Your words mean shit to me," Zuko ground out, standing and pulling Katara behind him against her protests.

There was absolutely no way they were going to get out of this alive. He hadn't realized just how full the courtyard had become with these black clad figures, and even though his body ached and would be useless in a fight, he still pressed Katara against the tree. He would give up the idea of marriage to ensure her freedom. Mai had always called him a martyr, and he would be one for Katara.

People were coming out of the building, some carrying wounded. Others were sorting through the bloody mess that was the courtyard. Then Zuko saw those two men who'd been watching them at the inn. Fury flared up, and he stumbled. His head was killing him.

"We're going to die," he mumbled. There was no way they could take them all…

"Perhaps his majesty will remember _me_. I came with your mother to the palace as part of her household staff," an older man said, coming forward. He pulled the younger man back by the shoulder.

Zuko looked at him very intently. The harder he tried to focus, the more his head throbbed, sending waves of nausea through him. He wanted nothing more than to curl into a little ball, but he needed to protect Katara. The man kept coming forward, and Zuko swung his dao in an arc, keeping him back. Several people turned toward him, hands going to their weapons. He could generate his own lightning now; he didn't need a storm to help him.

"You have to leave," Zuko said to Katara. "You go."

"Alone you don't stand a chance, Zuko. You're still bleeding."

"My lord, if you would—"

These weren't part of the Phoenix Brigade. Their gear was cheap, their clothes worn. They looked tired, but thrilled by the battle, their faces smeared with ash and blood. They just might be more inclined to ransom Zuko and Katara, and it seemed like their only hope.

"Ransom us to the North. Chief Arnook will pay highly for us both."

Zuko had chosen Arnook after brief consideration. If he was sent to Kuei, he might actually become a prisoner and be put on trial. There were far too many in the Earth Kingdom who suffered at the hands of the Fire Nation, and they would demand revenge. He knew that the council worked with him reluctantly, still holding him responsible for his part in the coup, and Kuei's lack of actual leadership was starting to cause problems among the people. Zuko would be the perfect scapegoat. The North, however, suffered very little damage. Arnook, though he didn't care for Zuko all that much, would at least want to keep Katara safe. It wouldn't do to hurt the chief of the Southern Water Tribe's daughter. And Hakoda liked Zuko; he wouldn't let Zuko rot after all he'd done for the family. And if Hakoda even thought about leaving him at the mercy of Arnook, Kanna would knock some sense into him. So, Arnook was the least likely to have him killed.

"It is not my intention to take either of you prisoner," the man said tersely. He looked satisfied with the situation, the corner of his mouth turned up in a way that said he wasn't exactly looking for peace at the moment.

He held his hands out, but he was still coming toward them. Zuko and Katara acted together; she bloodbent the man to the ground while Zuko threw fire out in a wide arc. Several people jumped back, but others not quick enough. The horde moved in closer to them, and they fell into bending stances, ready to strike at any movement. Zuko was still unstable on his feet, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could last.

"Stay with me," Katara ordered.

He'd thought he couldn't last much longer in that final battle, either, but they'd done well. One of the horde growled, and Zuko couldn't really tell who it was or where the growl came from, but he readied his lightning all the same, directing it at everyone in the front lines. He was going to throw up, and he started leaning to one side, and the blood was trickling down the back of his neck like sweat.

"Stop! Stop!" The man yelled, getting off the ground. "Put your weapons away." The horde did as he commanded, but they remained at the ready. The man's face was red, and he was furious, and perhaps humiliated as well.

"What's your name?" Zuko demanded, trying to watch everything, and seeing twice as much as was really there.

"Chem. I served as your mother's personal secretary. This is Bo, one of my officers."

Zuko tried to think. The name was familiar, yes, but everything was taking so long to process.

"Perhaps his majesty should let Master Lady Katara inspect your wound." Chem pushed his people back even further, giving Zuko and Katara a wider birth.

"His injuries should not be your concern," Katara said, swirling the water protectively around them. Zuko could tell she was just as weary as he was. It was in the way her voice quivered, and she was swaying, too. She kept her left arm close to her body, bent at a slight angle, not quite in the proper bending stance. Her shoulder was likely dislocated, and she had a number of nasty bruises, including one on her temple. Neither one of them would last long in a fight. They would be taken prisoner, and then who knew what would happen to them.

"If my Lord and Lady Katara would stand down—"

"Never," Katara yelled, pushing the water outward into the crowd. They were all pushed back as far as the brick wall would allow.

That's when Zuko collapsed. His vision was blurred, and his ears were ringing. He could faintly hear screaming and fighting, several people were arguing, then there was cold surrounding him. Them. There was Katara, pulling him toward her. One arm was around his back, and the other was hovering over his head. He could feel her trembling, and he felt certain they were going to die.

"I love you," he whispered to her.

"No. You will _not_ start that." But there were tears in her voice and in her eyes.

He was starting to say that more and more, and it didn't seem so weird in his mouth. The first time he told her was when he was sure he'd die after redirecting the storm's lightning in the final battle. He would regret it if he never told her how much she meant to him. But he was young then, sixteen and desperate for someone beside his uncle to show him tenderness and affection, desperate for validation. He didn't know what love was. Now—now he was sure he did. He felt it in his heart every time he looked at her. He could smell it on her, and it smelled like the salty ocean. It was the touch of her skin, the way she felt in his arms, her lips on his. It was the way she tasted. Funny, when you think you're about to die, the world becomes clear, and he still wasn't sure that Katara would be able to accept everything that came with being Fire Lord—the court intrigues and the poisoning and the bargaining with criminals—but he knew she would try to understand. For him, she would try.

"I love you," he said again. "I'm sorry I'll never get to marry you." He asked Agni that, whatever the outcome of this battle, he not let anything too bad happen to Katara.

He was sorry that he let his mother down again.

* * *

><p>AN: You thought that last cliffhanger was bad? Mwhahahaha!

No, seriously, I want to thank everyone who's put this story on alert and marked it as a favorite. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, and thank you to those who're just reading. I am still doing a few revisions as I go along, though, and would very much appreciated your feedback (all of you reading). Feedback doesn't have to be along the lines of "This didn't work for me." I'm also very much interested in what _did_ work for you, so that I can continue to do that. Also, feedback applies to all my writing, which is helpful.


	12. Chapter 12

Zuko and Katara were sitting with their backs against a tree. Zuko was still a little groggy, a lot angry, very much grateful for Katara's healing, and a horrendously embarrassed that he'd been so overdramatic about the possibility of death. After all the assassination attempts, you'd think he'd get used to it, and he hoped Katara wouldn't tease him about it later. The prison was on fire, and they were at a stalemate, but she was right—they weren't about to die. Yet. Chem sat outside their protective circle, waiting, but looking none too pleased about it. During the lull when both sides were at a standoff, Zuko had set Katara's shoulder, and she managed to heal some of their worse injuries. Including Zuko's fractured skull.

"Speak," Zuko commanded. His head was already feeling better, and now he could remember seeing Chem around the palace. He'd always taken his mother's letters and helped her organize Ozai's affairs. If he remembered correctly, Chem had been to Ursa what Hau had become to him.

"My Lord—"

"Why did you have us followed?" Zuko demanded. Chem looked extremely irritated, his nostrils flaring, and his hands clenched.

"We would not let harm come to either your or Master Lady Katara." Chem paused, but continued when Zuko didn't interrupt. "I have served your mother since the day she left Kirachu for the capitol. Hers was not a marriage her parents desired, and they refused to send their only child into the capitol unarmed and unguarded. Those of us who came to the palace with the Lady Mother Ursa were loyal, and _remain_ loyal to the Lady Mother Ursa, and the Lady Mother Ursa _alone_."

That didn't erase Zuko's fear and anger. "Where is she?"

"Even I don't know." There was undisguised sadness and pain in Chem's voice, and it deepened the lines in his face. He looked old, sad, and tired.

"Is she alive?"

Chem paused. "Yes."

"Why did you hesitate?"

Again, Chem hesitated. "These are…delicate matters, my Lord—"

"I keep no secrets from Katara, and the way you keep throwing around names and titles, I would guess you should know this. Whatever you would say to me, you will say in front of her."

She was beside him, like a rock, anchoring him to the world when so much seemed unreal and out of his grasp. Here they were, sitting in the courtyard of a burning building, _talking_ after having just slaughtered dozens of people—after giving in to the most base and ugly urges.

"I was just as surprised as you were to find that she wasn't here. She has many friends, and I hope whoever took her is friendly toward us. But we have been through this before, this foolish little game with Ozai."

"You keep saying us," Katara said. "All these people could not be from Lady Ursa's house."

"No, they are not." That was all Chem said, but he looked proud for having said it.

Zuko took deep, deep breaths, but it wasn't enough to keep his head from spinning. Katara was squeezing his shoulder, reassuring him that she was there, and he wanted to bury himself in her. Chem crossed his arms and sneered at Zuko, and this wasn't the man that he remembered from the palace. That man had been quiet and helpful, by his mother's side whenever she needed him. He'd never been smug or self-righteous, and certainly he didn't have his own army.

"She did what Ozai could not do, and she did it far better than he ever could have," Chem said, spitting Ozai's name with open contempt. "When we could no longer protect her, she commanded that we protect you. Those who had become loyal to her turned their attentions to you, my lord, though I assure you, the Lady Mother Ursa was never far from our minds."

"If you protected her like you protected me, then I fear for her safety."

"Zuko—"

"Just what were you protecting me from? Because I still remember—"

"My Lord _must_ understand that, though we wished we could do so, we could not protect you from your own father," he said as if he were talking to a stubborn child. "Only the Lady Mother Ursa could shield her children, but in time, even that was beyond her. We protected you from the court as much as we could, mostly from Ozai's agents within the palace. I worked with former General Iroh, your uncle—"

"Bullshit. He would have told me."

"—to hand pick your crew when you were banished, to be sure that Ozai would not have the chance to be rid of you once and for all. And I doubt your esteemed uncle has mentioned me because we did not cooperate of our own will, but rather at the will of your mother."

"So what happened to you? Ozai's not the forgiving type." Katara said.

"With the Lady Mother Ursa gone, my services were no longer needed. Ozai had his crown, and as far as he was concerned, he was untouchable. It was no secret that I disliked Ozai from the day after the wedding."

"What did he do to her?" Zuko asked, moving into a crouch. The heat was rising from the pit of his stomach.

Chem smiled, satisfied. "She called it inexperience, but I will not deign to go into the Lady Mother Ursa's intimate affairs with her husband."

Zuko wanted to lunge, but Katara was holding him back, or rather, leaning on him to keep him in place. If he were to pass through her barrier, there would be nothing to keep them from all attacking at once. At least, this way, they had some measure of security.

"Does someone intend to put that fire out?" Zuko yelled.

"If it pleases my lord for the fire to be extinguished," Chem said, bowing his head in a what Zuko was positive was a mocking gesture.

"It does."

Chem gave a signal, and several people began work on putting out the fire. "If you will consent, we would shelter my Lord and his Lady Consort at least for the night."

"I am not the Lady Consort," Katara said. "You know this."

"No? I had assumed from your familiarity with his majesty that you were. My apologies. I have been gone from the Fire Nation for quite some time."

"Wipe that smile off your face," Zuko said, springing to his feet, and almost falling on his face. "Cut the act. You know Katara and I are only friends."

Chem did that mocking head gesture again. Zuko knew he was being provoked, but he was just so frustrated and exhausted and angry that not rising to the bait never crossed his mind. The angrier he got, the smugger Chem got. Zuko didn't trust him at all, even though the man seemed to know a lot about his mother. It wouldn't be the first time someone had tried to blackmail him with information about Ursa, and he'd learned to be cautious. There was a twinkle in Chem's eye hinting at secrets he wasn't ready to reveal.

"There is a young man who works in his mother's inn not far from here who seems to think otherwise."

"That young man will be a dead one, soon."

"I'm repaying an old debt by helping him find Lady Ursa," Katara explained, grabbing onto the back of his shirt again. Zuko struggled against her, but most of the adrenaline had left his body feeling spent. She was pulling herself off the ground, keeping him back at the same time. "We're old war buddies."

"Yes, old war buddies." Chem sighed and clasped his hands behind his back. "It is a sad time when you can be so young and yet call yourselves old war buddies. Perhaps old war buddies would follow an old man."

Slowly, Katara began dropping the ice shield. They could have been overwhelmed by now, and it should be a good sign that they weren't. Really, what choice did they have but to follow?

* * *

><p>AN: I can't kill off my POV character! Then who'd tell the story? Anyway, **Kimberly T.** pointed out in another one of my fics that Royal/Lady Consort is a title used to refer to the ruler's spouse. I found that out when I was looking for official titles for the girlfriend of the ruler, which there don't appear to be any. I'm going to leave it as Royal/Lady Consort in my fics because calling the women the council pushes at Zuko girlfriends or significant others suggests too much intimacy, in my opinion. I wanted it to be almost like an official position, something you're appointed to. I am open to suggestions for better titles, though.

On another note, I'd originally planned this Finding Ursa bit to be a three arc series, but after writing the second arc, I felt like it was too much of a detour. So, what was formerly the second in a trilogy, Lily of the Valley, is being uploaded separately. That fic follows Ursa and Ozai, features Chem, and shows my take on what life could have been like for them. I'm working on the final part, Finding My Way Home as we speak!


	13. Chapter 13

Chem's heart was heavy as he stood in the courtyard overlooking the madness. He'd been so sure that Ursa was there, but all they found was the Phoenix Brigade, her failure of a son, and the waterbender. He should really take it as a good sign; at least Ursa did not have to be subjected to those monsters, and she wouldn't have to see her child without first being prepared. Chem kept hope, though; this was a growing pattern between them. In time, he would find her and make his way back to her. She would welcome him with a calm smile, and he would know that she was alright. He sent a prayer to Agni asking for her to be kept safe.

Bo came up to him, bowed and waited to be acknowledged. Chem watched the Fire Lord and the waterbender standing close together, practically falling against each other in a bid to stay upright. They'd been wounded pretty badly, and he doubted they even understood the extent of their injuries and just how bad they looked. If they didn't get back to camp and have their wounds treated soon, they just might have a dead Fire Lord on their hands.

"Their wounds are not too serious?" Chem asked, his nose wrinkled in disgust. He must have spun some good lies in order to get her to fall for him like that. Another daughter ruined. Chem wondered what her father thought of this behavior.

"We can't tell, sir. They won't let anyone close to them, and no one really wants to try. You saw what they can do even if they are dead on their feet."

Chem nodded. He had seen what the boy could do, and such power should not exist unchecked.

"How did they fight, inside?"

Bo was shaking his head. "I will never intentionally get on their bad sides. They were quick and left many wounded. Many were burned, and I saw the way he called the fire to him from down the hall. It was…" Bo shook his head. "He has control of lightning, and the Breath of Fire. If his uncle is ever ready to retire, he can pass the title Dragon of the West to Lord Zuko."

Chem snorted. There was no way that deceptive old man was ever going to hand over his title, favored protégé or no. It was more likely that they'd form some sort of partnership. They were more than two powerful benders; neither had to rely solely on their bending as Ozai did. Removing the fire from them would not be enough to stop them should the Fire Lord decide to bring the Fire Nation back to military dominance. With the Dragon of the West restored his title and position in the army… Chem shuddered. He would not allow this to be. The only thing that would make it worse would be if he decided to form a three-way alliance, including his sister. There was very little chance of that happening, though; she would likely try to take power for herself. Still, she was very cunning and very persuasive. And no one goes insane _that_ quickly. It is not an overnight process.

At least the night hadn't been a total bust. The Phoenix Brigade had been exterminated, the Lady Mother was, presumably, safe, and he could observe the Fire Lord for himself and determine the best course of action. At first, he'd been unsure that such a tiny woman could control him, but he'd seen it with his own eyes. Chem never doubted her ability to subdue him with her bending, but even as he fought against her, he held back. He touched her with tenderness, and turned to her for strength. She dominated him, and the domineering Fire Lord was fine with that. It was abundantly clear to whom he bowed, and Chem would exploit that for all it was worth.

"Ah," Chem said, smiling sardonically, "young love."

"Do you really think so?"

"I don't care whether it is or isn't," Chem said turning to Bo. "Hers is the right voice to be whispering in his ear for us. He may have the title, but she will rule, and she will listen to reason and pleas for help. He would give us his disfigured ear and claim he cannot hear."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Bo crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at Chem, smiling slightly. Bo was a good man and truly loyal to the cause. "That she is the one we should talk to? She struggles against him, and what's to stop him from ignoring her?"

"Well, we shall just have to see, won't we?"

It didn't really matter what he believed so long as he could convince others to believe it. These days, belief was all muddled, and truth was mixed with suspicion, and it was easier than ever to manipulate lies into truth and truth into weapons. He would need strong weapons for this fight, and as far as he was concerned, the girl was key.

A plan was already forming in Chem's mind, and he set his sights on the soft hearted, motherly master bender. They were sitting now as the last of the clean up was being carried out. The building still stood, but it was hollowed and smoke gushed from the only two exits. The dense forest canopy kept the smoke hanging low, but it was far enough above them that it didn't cause the lungs too much irritation. It would be best not to linger for too long, though.

"Can you tell me how many we lost today?"

"We only have a rough count," Bo said, "but my best guess is about forty five. They died fighting bravely."

"We will give them a proper burial in the morning, and do our best to notify their families."

"And now, sir?"

"Now, we head back to camp."

Long and Fei were picking their way through the bodies to come over to him.

"There are enough people to carry the bodies back," Long said angrily, his eyes narrowed at Chem. "I don't care if we would have to make three trips back here, I just don't want to leave our people alone. They deserve rest and peace. They deserved better than this."

Chem nodded. That, they could agree on. The men bowed to each other, and Chem walked over to the glorified children. He stood over them, observing. They were practically sleeping, and were still bleeding in a few places. They likely wouldn't allow his healers to look at them, but he would still offer. If they refused and died, it would be their own damn faults. They should know when they are outnumbered and defeated, and they should come along quietly.

"My lord—"

Gold eyes flew open with such malice and distrust that Chem stepped back. He began to wonder whether the young man had been asleep at all, or if he was merely waiting and watching. Chem did not like to think that he was being observed in such a way. It made him uneasy, given the party doing the observing.

"My lord, we are ready to begin moving back to the camp."

The Fire Lord stared at him, still with that expression of distrust and malice, and the longer he looked, the more it made Chem uncomfortable. He cleared his throat, but still that intense gaze was on him, making him feel exposed in ways Ozai had never been able to do.

"What's your game?" Zuko asked.

"I'm not sure I follow—"

"Cut the bullshit. If you had my mother, why didn't you return to the Fire Nation after the war? Why did you keep her away from me?"

"It is a complicated matter my lord, and many decisions were not left up to me."

"Seems to me you're a pretty important guy. Everyone here is under your command. They defer to you. You are their leader." He stopped talking and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The girl was still sleeping with her head against his shoulder, and Chem noticed that his movements were small so as not to jostle her. "What do you really want?"

Chem sneered. He would have pleased with this boy's death. He wanted his nation back. "I want peace."

Zuko let out a short, bitter laugh. "I'm starting to think peace is a lie we tell ourselves so we don't jump out a window."

He moved then, picking up the sleeping girl in his arms, with only a little effort. She stirred in his arms, and Chem watched as the Fire Lord looked at the young woman with blatant affection, clearly too tired to keep up the ruse. And Bo had been worried that he might grow tired of her and brush her to the side.

"Are we leaving or do you intend to stay here all night?"

Chem looked up into distant golden eyes. There was little in him that resembled the child Chem had known running around the palace. This could hardly be the little boy who had briefly transformed Ozai into a human by the mere act of being born, or who'd become excited about the simplest thing. Chem searched, but all traces of the child Ursa loved were obliterated. This was Ozai's boy, and Chem ground his teeth as he bowed at the man who was supposed to be his sovereign.

He fell in with the others as they left the prison and headed back to camp. Someone was singing a song to the spirits, asking them to guide the souls of the dead to the spirit world safely. It reminded him of funerals on Kirachu. They weren't the drab affairs carried out in the capitol that required the families to pretend as if they didn't mourn the loss of a loved one. This dirge was sad and unapologetic about it, and asked the others not to put aside their pain, either. It put Chem in mind of the crystal waters of the lakes of his home, and the sweet scent carried on the wind for the majority of the year. He wondered what Kirachu smelled like now that the flower fields had been burned. He wondered what sustained his people through the dark years in the wake of Ozai's anger. The fields had been burned, but they could also be rebuilt; he wasn't so sure the same could be said for the people's spirits. So much was lost to them, but he took heart in the dirge as more people picked up the song. Something would always remain for them to hold onto, and that's where he would come in. He would give them the foothold to reclaim what was theirs.

Halfway to the camp, the waterbender began stirring, and the Fire Lord stepped to the side to put her down. Chem slowed his pace to observe them. That boy stayed by her side like a lovesick puppy until she was more awake and alert. He checked her shoulder again, and she pulled out some water and began going over their injuries. Chem watched with jealousy as the cuts and bruises were healed. Benders thought they were so great sometimes. Their aches could be soothed away while the rest of the world had to wait and suffer as their wounds festered and turned putrid. When they were ready, he whispered a few words to her, then they joined the column again, their faces grim, not saying a word to each other. The column marched on.

Chem shoved his hands in his sleeves, fingered the lily of the valley hidden in a pocket there. Lily of the Valley was Ursa's favored poison, and had been the poison she'd used to kill Ozai's generals who'd attacked her. Iroh himself had brewed the tea, and everyone watched as she poured the cups. Fire Lord Azulon _drank_ from the cup she handed him, and yet their thirsts had all been miraculously quenched when the five men across the table began to blacken and bloat, spitting up blood and choking on it. That family had stolen her innocence and driven her to terrible things. In some way, Chem wanted to make them all pay, to see them all hurt in the ways she'd been hurt, destroyed in the way everything she loved had been destroyed.

She understood that weeds needed to be pulled from the roots. There were times when they differed on what root was part of a weed, and what root was part of a flower. She refused to understand that her blood alone was not enough to overcome generations of madness that drowned out the Fire Nation. This boy was pure weed, and a purging of the most powerful kind would be needed.

Long ran up beside him, bowed, and was about to speak, but Chem shook his head. There were some things that shouldn't be spoken about in front of prisoners. They might use the word 'guest,' but the Fir Lord proved himself to be astute. He knew his position amongst them.

Looking at the Fire Lord's unscarred side, it struck Chem just how much the boy resembled his father. It was only the scar that redeemed him to others, made his face his own, but Chem knew the truth.

* * *

><p>AN: I admit to having a _lot_ of fun writing Chem, with all his anger and disappointment and longing for things that will never be again. To be honest, I kinda pity the poor fool. And the fanaticism. Again, thanks to all those who've stuck by this story.


	14. Chapter 14

Chem led them into the forest. As they left the courtyard, they were flanked by several armed guards, both men and women, clothed in simple black garments. They moved as a mass through the forest, and after a while, it wasn't just Zuko leaning on Katara, but she started to lean, too; her brief nap wasn't enough. Mercifully, Chem didn't try to keep up any conversation. He stayed beside them the whole time, watching them often from the corner of his eye. Zuko could feel him staring, and wanted to whisper to Katara, but Chem was too close. Anything they said, he would hear, and Zuko didn't trust him.

The path was relatively straightforward, and the moon was beginning its descent by the time they reached the camp. Zuko had no idea how long they'd been fighting or sitting in that stupid courtyard talking. When they entered the camp, it put everything they'd had when travelling during the war to shame. There were so many tents and so many people that it was hard to believe they'd gone unnoticed. In the middle was a huge fire, and more people were standing or sitting around it, eating and talking. Someone ran up to Chem.

"Sir, we saw the smoke and sent out another wave." The young woman kept tossing glances at Zuko and Katara, practically holding each other up. "We weren't sure you'd find them in time to—"

Chem held up a hand, stopping the young woman's whispering. "Oyun, prepare a tent for our guests."

Oyun looked them both up and down, crossed her arms, then sighed. "I don't think that's appropriate."

"For fuck's sake!" Zuko yelled, pulling away from Katara. "You've got to be shitting me. You're worried about what may or may not _look_ appropriate when we're in middle of a forest?"

Oyun looked terrified and more than slightly offended. Several people pulled away from the camp to watch the spectacle.

"Apparently, you haven't heard of your Fire Lord's foul mouth," Katara said reproachfully, tugging Zuko's arm.

"Given the circumstances, Oyun, I'm sure it would be permissible," Chem said, placing a hand on Oyun's shoulder.

"Don't get upset," Katara said, looking at the woman and trying to smooth things over. "Inappropriate is six teenagers and a lemur sleeping in the cramped saddle of a sky bison."

Zuko smiled when people started looking to each other for explanation and shrugging their shoulders. "War joke," he explained.

Oyun was still grumbling about the whole thing and having been personally offended, but Zuko really wasn't in the mood for any of that. Did they really expect that he and Katara would be ok sleeping separately while injured and among people they didn't trust? Chem seemed to be the only one who really understood the situation from their point of view.

"Look, just get the tent ready, ok Oyun?" It was one of the men they'd seen at the inn. One of the me Atem clearly pointed out as tracking them. He walked forward with his hands up, palms out to show that he was unarmed and not a threat. Irritation was prevalent in his voice as he addressed Oyun.

"You were tracking us," Katara said, eyes narrowed and readying her water. "Zuko, we should just leave."

Zuko was torn. He really didn't want to stay there, but so long as Chem kept his pets under control, it looked like they would be fine. They could make it back to the inn to sleep before heading back to the capitol, but now that they knew who their trackers were working for, he didn't feel comfortable going back there. Not that it would really make a difference, because they already knew where the inn was. They were screwed either way.

"Leaving wouldn't do any good," Zuko mumbled, running his hands through his hair.

"My name is Long," said the man who'd fussed at Oyun. "We didn't want any harm to come to you."

Katara scoffed, but she put her water away. Zuko didn't miss the look Chem shot Long as he introduced himself, bowing to Zuko and Katara. Chem's eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared, his hands snaking even further up his sleeves. He took a hesitant step forward, looked at Zuko, saw he was being watched, then remained still. There was tension between the two, or maybe just on Chem's part. Long looked to be ignoring Chem completely. Or that could have been the whole point.

"Will you see our healer?" Long asked hopefully, gesturing at their injuries.

"Not on your life." Katara was walking back into Zuko, pushing him away from the encampment. He put his hands on her shoulders.

There were a few moments of tense silence while everyone eyed everyone else, and then Oyun walked off to finally prepare that tent. Although, what preparations needed to be made and why they were just now preparing something if this had been the plan all along were beyond him. He was too tired to think. Chem stood closer to them, not saying a word. He kept his hands folded in his sleeves and a disdainful look on his face. Occasionally he wrinkled his nose in their direction as if their very presence offended him.

Zuko was about to say something, but Oyun came back and announced that their single tent was ready. Chem nodded and gestured for them to follow Oyun. When Katara started to follow, he pulled her back. That's how they walked prisoners to their cells: one guard in front, one in back.

"Please," Zuko said with false diplomacy. "After you."

Chem was startled at first but he recovered quickly. He started walking, but not before rolling his eyes.

"Don't worry," he said once Zuko and Katara were inside. "They won't murder you in your sleep. We need the both of you."

The moment he hit the pallet, Zuko was almost unconscious. He heard Chem's remark, but it didn't register to his foggy mind. Both Zuko and Katara promptly fell asleep and didn't wake until morning. What they really should have done was set up a watch, so that they could sleep in turns and be sure no one was trying to kill them, rather than take Chem's word.

/

Chem peeked into their tent after they'd been in there for an hour. While their sleeping arrangements might have been cramped on the back of the Avatar's bison, Chem doubted they slept curled against each other like that, her facing him, and his body covering hers as much as possible. Under very different circumstances, it would have been sweet, the way he was stroking her back.

With a different person it would have been sweet, but it just made him want to throw up. He'd seen her work with the sick and poor in Ba Sing Se while she was there for a treaty signing. She'd been charming and smiling, never condescending. She was everything he wasn't, and yet she'd still been sucked in. By what? Did she like the whole 'bad boy' thing? Did she actually believe that he'd changed?

For an odd moment, Chem felt a deep and nearly crippling pang for the boy. In his mind and from everything he'd heard and seen, there was such a huge disconnect between the boy he remembered as prince and the man that was before him as Fire Lord. He couldn't have been more than three years old, Chem remembered, which would have made Azula one. He remembered she couldn't quite stand yet, but the prince wanted to show her the turtleducks, so he walked her over, holding her hands, and she said her first word, Zuzu, as she took her first steps. Ursa had watched them with such extreme happiness; he couldn't ever remember seeing her happier. And the little prince carefully plucked a turtleduck from the waters and placed it in his sister's hands.

Someone was tapping him on the back, and he silently let the tent flap fall closed. Inara and Long were waiting for him. He followed them away from the tent of the sleeping lovers, and closer to the fire. There were still remnants of that tenderness he'd shown his sister in the way he held the ambassador.

"What you did, going up and introducing yourself like that, Long… Do you want to jeopardize this whole thing?" Chem watched the flames rather than look at them. He didn't want them to see the sadness that sat on top of the hate for lives destroyed by one man's ambition. Ozai had managed to cripple the entire royal family.

"It was late and they deserved a rest. You would have stayed at a stalemate the entire night, and everyone would have passed out from exhaustion," Long said dryly. He followed Chem's gaze into the fire. "How do you intend to buy passage into the Fire Nation?"

"Through the Lady Mother."

"And she will grant you this passage once she learns of your feelings toward her son?"

"She will be made to understand."

"How? You're going to lay out this argument of yours? That he's selling off the Fire Nation's assets and refuses aid to other countries and hasn't turned over all the colonies and keeps the princess drugged to suppress her firebending and make people think she's insane? And what proof would you give her?" Long argued, throwing his arms open wide.

Chem sighed and turned to Long and Inara. Why wouldn't they see that he was fighting for the same thing? They only had a difference of tactics; they preferred a faith based method where they just hoped that everyone they were dealing with would be honest. Chem had been there. He'd walked those halls and heard how they whispered; he'd heard their deals and their secrets and their plans, and three years was not going to change that, especially when the Fire Lord refused to hand over the main perpetrators.

"She will see for herself." The fire had gone out of him, but that was only because he was tired and that pang was still there, though it was fortunately giving way to an anger that would sustain him through his mission.

"Chem, please, this is the time that we need to make a move. If we don't do it now, who knows when we'll have another chance," Inara pleaded.

"Oh, I completely agree. I will make my move tomorrow. I will speak with Master Katara."

Inara pulled at her hair. "Your move, Chem, yes your move, but you won't even consider someone else's. We should be allying ourselves with them. We should have done this years ago, but you—"

Chem stood and turned his back to the pair. "You will continue trailing him in the Fire Nation. Report any changes, positive or negative, to me. I will decide how best to deal with them."

He didn't see Inara's reaction, and he didn't particularly care. Long started to speak, but Chem cut him off.

"He is still the son of Ozai, and has been under the care of General Iroh since he was thirteen. Bo told me about how he fought. Breath of Fire, lightning, these are not the tools of peace."

"General Iroh's changed, Chem. The Lady Mother Ursa _herself_ asked him to watch after her son. She knew he could be trusted. And in case you missed this point," Long said sarcastically, "those weren't peace negotiations in there. That was fight or die."

Long's footsteps receded, and Chem sighed, making his way to his own tent, but not before hearing Inara say that everything ended on this night. It had been a long road, and there were still many miles to travel before they reached the end. But the end was in sight. He could almost see it. He could almost taste a liberated Fire Nation.

/

In the morning, Zuko was thoroughly pissed at himself for not insisting on a watch. Even though he was usually a light sleeper, Zuko wasn't sure he would have heard anything if someone had decided to sneak into their tent and kill them in their sleep. He was therefore pleasantly surprised and thoroughly relieved to find that they were both alive and unbound, and more or less in the same positions they'd been in when they collapsed the night before.

He remained still for a while longer, Katara stirring at his side, and listened to the sounds of the camp. It was noisy, and people kept stopping in front of their tent to whisper.

"You think the rumors are true?"

"At first I had my doubts, but then they insisted on sleeping in the same tent together. And did you see the way she manhandled him in there? I mean, man, I'd be afraid to _look_ at him the wrong way, but she's all, bam! with the waterbending."

"I know what would be on my mind if I was in a tent with her." There were obscene grunting noises, followed by laughing.

A third voice joined the conversation. "You know they totally did it." Laughter. "I bet she's a screamer."

"I bet she tops," the first voice took up. "Oh man, to have those lovely round tits—"

The conversation abruptly stopped, and then Chem asked if they didn't have something better to do.

During the conversation, Katara had woken up and pulled herself away from Zuko. She was running her fingers through her hair, yawning quietly as she listened. Zuko had intended to wake up in a much better mood. It was something of a pet project of his: wake up and not be pissed. So much for that.

Chem knocked on the support pole of the tent, and when Katara told him he could, he entered. Zuko noticed that Chem paused with the tent flap open so that the three young men standing outside could see that both Zuko and Katara were awake, had heard them, and were now glaring death at them. They still had all their weapons, and Katara was reaching for her waterskins, flexing the fingers of one hand into a bloodbending posture. Quickly, they scattered.

"I train my men better than that," Chem said, sitting with a little difficulty on the ground. "You may disregard everything they have said. It would appear they have forgotten you are their…Fire Lord."

"See to it that they are reminded," Zuko said, using the same tone he did when he held council. The one that said punishment would be handed out swiftly and forcefully. "What do you intend to do with us now?"

"There is breakfast and a stream nearby. I can get you fresh clothes if you would like." Chem's words were clipped.

"That would be nice," Katara said.

Chem was quiet a moment, moving his mouth from side to side as if he were chewing his cheek. "I am sure the Lady Mother Ursa would want you to know…that she has not ignored your efforts to find her. It has long been her wish to return to her children, but…" Chem paused and looked at a point beyond them. "It has not been easy for her to trust."

"I have my suspicions, but did she say why Ozai was pursuing her?"

Chem shook his head, but there was a flickering in his eyes that Zuko didn't like. "I doubt she will tell even you. There are things she does not speak of, and there are things I dare not ask."

"If we come to her, will she see us?" Katara asked.

"Yes," Chem said, as if he didn't believe it. "But you will have to work for it."

"Oh, is that the way we're playing it?" Zuko asked, his arms crossed. That bastard had some nerve.

"I have said before I am not her only friend. She was not at the prison yesterday. Perhaps she is with her other friends." Chem shoved his hands in his sleeves and tried to look down on them. "They will not always understand Lily of the Valley, they will not be as kind to you as I have been."

"So how did you find out she was here?" Zuko asked.

Chem was asking to be hurt. Very badly. Zuko took some deep breaths. There was always one person or another standing in his path like this, obstinately refusing to budge in any direction. They all expected compromise of Zuko, and dammit, he was tire of compromising. He looked away from Chem. No matter what he did, Chem was watching and judging and deeming him not worthy. That should be his mother's decision. He refused to believe that Ursa had become so paranoid that she didn't even trust her son's word. Chem clearly had contact with her after she was banished, and Zuko wanted that rooted out of him, at all costs.

"The same way I have always found her. The same way, I suppose, you found out. Hard work. I said we didn't get here soon enough to save her from some suffering."

The suffering again. Zuko stood and began pacing.

"Look, you're leading us on and then treating us like idiots," Katara said, jabbing a finger in Chem's direction. "You need to back off."

"Perhaps it would be best if my Lord and Master Lady Katara had something to eat." Chem bowed, but not quite apologizing.

"Why did she ignore everything I've said?"

"Perhaps because she does not trust..." Chem looked to visibly swallow his words. "Perhaps she did not trust that the words came from the man she knows to be her son."

Zuko and Katara shared a confused look. Chem sighed, then shook his head, looking very much put-upon.

"Ozai did not achieve greatness on his own. Much of his success is owed to the Fire Lady Queen Mother Ursa, and far too many people understood this for it to go unnoticed. At the time of his death, Azulon was old, yes, but he was still strong. A sudden heart attack isn't unheard of at his age, but the circumstances aroused suspicion. It was Ozai, second son who had begun to greatly annoy his father, who succeeded him, and without his wife, who'd been instrumental in everything. Her disappearance did not go unnoticed. People began to talk, and not politely."

"But wasn't conquest what they wanted?" Katara asked.

Chem looked at the ground in front of him. "War is a complicated thing. The way former Fire Lord Azulon and former Crown Prince General Iroh waged war wasn't the same as the way Ozai did it. So many people began to lose their loved ones. Husbands, daughters, sons, wives, people they were close to. Though no one would openly say it, there was a large anti-war sentiment growing from the middle and lower classes."

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to stave off any potential headaches. "That makes sense. The nobility hardly ever sent their children to war—especially the nobility from the capitol—and remained untouched by it. That would be why I have so much support from the middle and lower classes. Work to end the war, and their families can come home."

There were days when that support was all that kept him going. The nobility was such a small part of their nation's population, and their contribution was minimal compared to those who made up the middle and lower classes. These people were ignored for so long, but they were the ones who made the nation work. Zuko had done as much as he could to redistribute the wealth and tax load, which had won him a large amount of popularity, which in turn meant they were more trusting of his judgment. It helped that he refused to be cooped up in the palace all the time. It wasn't unusual for people to see him wandering the market or visiting the various shops while he worked, and so to the people of his nation, he was an actual person, which was nice.

"And that would be why some of the soldiers turned on their comrades during the fight," Katara added, looking to Zuko, not Chem.

"Exactly. Even in the Fire Nation, there were those ready for an end to the fighting. But in the early years, they blamed the Lady Mother Ursa for putting Ozai on the throne in the first place. Anger often needs a place to go."

"And some still blame her," Zuko said, voicing Chem's implication and coming to sit down again. "Fuckin Agni, she probably thought some of it was a trap."

"An astute guess, your majesty. In some circles, the Lady Mother's name is treated like a dirty word."

Zuko hid his face in his hands, and Katara started rubbing circles on his back. All this because Ozai was too much of a coward to do his own dirty work. Ozai had skated by on so many things, narrowly missing punishment or pain that was more than due him. Others kept taking the fall, but Zuko was done with that.

"Ozai deserves to be punished," he said aloud.

"You can't."

Zuko turned to Katara surprised. "What do you mean I can't? I could give you a list that would stretch from here to the capitol of all the things he's done that warrants him being executed for crimes, not only against the Fire Nation, but the entire world."

Katara was biting her lip, refusing to meet either his gaze or Chem's. "Aang. He made a public decree… Remember? If you execute Ozai now, you would be breaking the Avatar's Peace."

Zuko stood, blowing steam from his nose, and walked out of the tent before he said something bad. He stalked through the camp, and people got out of his way quickly. It didn't matter where he was going; he just needed to get away from all those people. Again, Ozai caught a lucky break because this Avatar happened to be a pacifist fifteen year old who _still_ refused to listen to his past lives and understand that "we have to sacrifice" meant him, too. Apparently, Azula wasn't the only one born lucky.

/

Chem waited until the Fire Lord exited the tent and was a good ways away. He watched for signs that the waterbender was going to follow, but she stayed still for a while. Her mouth was moving and he realized she was counting. An old trick, then, for controlling his anger. Let the others doubt his plan; this was proof he was on the right track. When she stood to follow him, Chem lightly touched her on the arm.

"Lady Katara, if I may speak with you for a moment…"

The girl turned to him, but she kept looking at the tent flap. No, she would prefer that he didn't talk to her just right now, but that meant it was precisely the time to talk to her. He gestured to the spot across from him.

"Let's not insult each other's intelligence, hm? You are in love with the Fire Lord."

"I don't see why my personal life is any of your concern."

"I would ask a favor of your personal life." She was glaring at him, but those meant nothing. They were glares from children meant for children. He'd seen worse and with real malice behind them. "Would you consider marrying your Fire Lord to ensure his right to rule his country?"

"What?" It came out as a rather loud bark, and she nearly fell over trying to get away. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"Oh, but it does. Perhaps because they know you to be good friends with the Fire Lord, people do not talk in your presence. Other nations will force their spies on him. I worked in a general store in Ba Sing Se for a time. The nobility who came there were quite enamored with the idea of sending their daughters to control the Fire Nation."

"Zuko would never fall for that," she said, but she was hooked. Her words lacked some conviction.

"And how would he guard himself against this? He may divorce one, but there will be others. Once the Earth Kingdom does this, what will stop the North?"

She was tugging at her hair, thinking over the proposition. Chem was surprised at how little it took her to get on his side, or to at least consider it. Perhaps they had heard others talking about it.

"So he may divorce the first, but how long will his council let this go on? And without an heir? Wouldn't it be better to have you whisper in his ear than anyone else?"

"Whisper in his ear? Zuko doesn't need anyone to—"

"Doesn't he?" Chem raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "How much do you know about the way he rules his nation?"

"I don't expect him to share details with me." She huffed and put her hands on her hips. "It wouldn't be right. I'm not a part of the governing body, and there are some things I don't have a right to know."

"You speak of rights, Lady Katara," Chem said slowly. It would be wrong to gloat over this, but he would do it. He would tell her, and he would gloat and he would be satisfied. "Are you aware that the Fire Nation continually refuses to give monetary aid to various Earth Kingdom cities that are in desperate need? They cannot receive money in a timely manner from their own crown because of the mess King Kuei's reign has become. The South needs their money for continued reconstruction. The North is too busy protecting its own to look elsewhere just yet."

"The Fire Nation doesn't have as much money as everyone thinks."

"And how do you know that? Have you seen the books?"

She stopped pulling on her hair, and her hands slowly fell to her lap. She looked at him for a long while, but finally looked away.

"If my lady were to look at the books," Chem pressed, "she would see that the Fire Nation is still in possession of several Earth Kingdom colonies. How do I know? I've spent some time on them, and the people wish their own government to be returned to them."

"Zuko would never do that," she said quietly.

"They send requests for talks about reversing the treaties forced under Fire Lord Azulon, and the only response they get is that there is trouble locating these treaties. Of course, the colonies do not have their own copies; that would be giving them some power, and Fire Lord Azulon was too smart for that."

"Zuko wouldn't… It would be his council. They would be the ones doing this."

It was clear that she'd never heard these things before, and Chem wondered if she was ignoring them because of her feelings for the Fire Lord, or if she genuinely had no idea. He studied her and the emotions floating across her face. Anger, pain, hurt, betrayal, disbelief, strong conviction. He pitied the girl. It was like watching the Lady Mother being destroyed all over again. He'd hated the position she'd been put in, having to spy on Ozai, and now here he was, forcing another young girl into the same thing. At least she would have the courtesy of going into it knowing completely the monster she was marrying.

"Well, then, it would also seem he needs saving from his own nation. Perhaps my lady could play the hero and save us all from the destruction they would bring."

* * *

><p>AN: Yeah, this was a long one, ~4500. Let me know if this is too long. If not, I'll know I can push chapter length in pt2: Finding My Way Home. I try to keep the chapters at about 2500, but double the length would give me the chance to expand some things. Comments on length are greatly appreciated. *Sigh* Shit just got complicated for Katara :( It's one of those moments where, even though it comes from the mouth of a maniac, it sounds plausible enough given the people you know to make you question. I've been there. _Not_ a nice feeling. Also, some major pieces just fell into place. Boom goes the dynamite.


	15. Chapter 15

When he got to the stream, Zuko dunked his head in without holding his breath. The water was like ice, not yet heated by the morning sun. He washed the dried blood out of his hair, and stayed down until his lungs began to burn, and when he pulled his head out, dripping wet, Katara was standing to his left, bundles of clothes in her arms.

"Let me check you for any more injuries," she said. Mercifully, she didn't bring up Aang and his stupid pacifist monk ways, but she did look very distracted. She was scowling and shaking her head.

Obliging, Zuko took off his shirt and turned his back to her. Katara checked his back, then turned him around to prod his ribs. He winced a little, but nothing seemed broken. She nodded absently when she was satisfied, but her eyes were transfixed on the star shaped scar on his chest. He watched as she gingerly traced the outline of his lightning scar, then the scars the Yu Yuan arrows left. He grabbed her hand where it lay against his chest and gave it a squeeze. He let her feel his heart beat. He was alive.

"I don't understand how one man can be so twisted and yet so…loyal." She shook her head as if she were tossing the thoughts out of her mind.

"Your turn," Zuko said, and waited as she removed her shirt. He checked her for any wounds she might have missed. "You've got one on your back."

Nodding, Katara directed water from the stream over her back, and it started glowing.

"Why does he refer to your mother like that?"

Zuko smiled. "When the Fire Lord dies and his son takes over, she becomes the Fire Lady Queen Mother. If the son is unmarried at the time of coronation, she continues all the duties of the Fire Lady. If he is married, the Fire Lady duties transfer to the new Fire Lady, but the Queen Mother keeps the title in recognition for her service to her country. Depending on how influential she is, she'll still take on some governance. Mostly, it's shortened to the Lady Mother."

"Ozai's not dead, though."

"No. Referring to mom as the Lady Mother acknowledges Ozai's powerlessness and non-standing in the political realm."

Impulsively, Zuko leaned forward and kissed Katara. When he pulled away, his smile was bigger than ever. It was the thrill of doing something so completely forbidden, the excitement of possibly being caught, the knowledge that they weren't dead, and he'd made her a promise, and he intended on keeping it, even if it did include divulging some damaging secrets. He kissed her again.

"I wish I'd thought of it. Think of how many times I could have used it to insult Ozai."

Katara rolled her eyes, but to his immense delight, she leaned in to kiss him, and when she pulled away, he wrapped his arm around her waist and held her to him as he slid his tongue into her mouth, coaxing a moan out of her.

"Really, Zoozie," she said panting and blushing, her hand absently touching her lips, and any distance fading away. "I swear you attract crazy people."

Katara cupped his cheek, running her thumb over his scar. She was back there with him, trusting, loving. Zuko felt thoroughly satisfied with himself.

They returned to camp clean and in new clothes, and sat by the fire to accept a late breakfast. Zuko still had his dao strapped to his back, the daggers he picked up, and the throwing knives. Katara was wearing all four of her waterskins, and had replaced Zuko's dagger in the sash of the clean pants. She'd already washed, dried, and folded their old clothes. It struck Zuko that they must look like a rather formidable pair, given the wide berth many people were giving them. Although there were more than a few people smiling suggestively at them.

"I finally decided on what to get you for your eighteenth birthday," Zuko said.

"That was random."

"I know, but it's going to be the best gift you get."

"Someone's mighty sure of themselves."

"Someone must not remember who our friends are. I can almost guarantee you that Uncle will get you something tea or herb-like. Hakoda will give you something belonging to your mother, probably something you used to love as a little girl. Sokka will try to get you meat or something he really likes, but Suki won't let him."

Katara laughed. "You know us too well, though guessing Iroh and Sokka don't count. They're the most obvious ones."

Chem came back to them. Zuko found it irritating that he never managed to be far.

"It is good to see my lord and Master Lady Katara are in better spirits. If you don't mind me intruding, I was wondering when his majesty had to be back."

Katara shot Chem a look that said she very much minded the intrusion. Zuko thought it over. He'd only budgeted a week and a half for this entire thing, including travel time, and he'd already burned through most of it. There would be enough time in his plan to get back to the capitol and maybe rest for a day, before he had to be the Fire Lord again. He ran his hands through his hair. He'd never expected to find Chem, and Chem was the strongest link to his mother that he'd ever come across. To leave now… He couldn't just drop this and depend on Chem to put him in contact with the right people. It would be giving an untrustworthy man too much power.

But a week and a half was pushing it. He could leave Hau and a few others in charge whenever he needed to be away, but a week was as long as people were able to go without devolving and turning to cannibalism and setting the capitol on fire without him.

"Your majesty?"

He could possibly just follow Chem, but then Hau would get worried and send out a search party, and he'd become another Kuei. There'd be mutiny because he'd 'abandoned his position.' He groaned. There were so many times he wished he'd stayed a refugee in Ba Sing Se. Now, he was just trapped. He couldn't go anywhere without someone wanting to know where and for how long.

"As soon as possible would be best," he said dejectedly. "There is…something…I should take care of." He ignored the look Katara gave him, deciding a visit to Ozai would be the only perk for abandoning the search.

"Then if it pleases my lord, I will arrange a party for him and Master Lady Katara to return to the capitol this afternoon." Chem had just dismissed them. Zuko would be able to get nothing else from him. Chem addressed Katara. "There are a few people I can put you in touch with. They will not believe anything you say at first, and you will have to earn their trust, but I believe they can get you closer to speaking with the Lady Mother Ursa."

Zuko's head snapped up. "Who?"

"I won't tell you their names out loud. I believe I am the only one here who knows of their connection to the Lady Mother. They will ask you to do things to prove your loyalty, things that will benefit them, and not always benefit you," Chem whispered, still addressing Katara.

"They wouldn't believe her own son, or they wouldn't believe _you_?" Katara asked.

"It is more that they have learned to be cautious. His majesty's reign is still young, and people are still wary. It is not entirely out of the realm of possibility that he joined the Avatar and overthrew his father to seize power for himself."

Katara snapped to instant-rage. Her face contorted into a grimace, and she readied her jabbing finger. "First you—"

"It's okay, Katara," Zuko said, grabbing her hand before she put Chem's eye out. But she was glaring at him. He could feel her burning a hole in the side of his head.

"One hundred years of war and death has made people stubborn, overly cautious, and suspicious of hope."

"Whatever needs to be done, I'll do it," Zuko said.

"Whatever it takes," Katara echoed.

True to Chem's word, they were on the road to the capitol by the afternoon, with a guard of twelve soldiers. They made the journey largely in silence, the guards sometimes chatting amongst themselves. Zuko preferred to think of all the ways he could get to the prison to run an "errand" without Katara noticing. If she was there, she'd surely stop him from visiting Ozai, afraid of what he might do when even _he_ wasn't sure what he'd do yet. He just hated the very idea that Ozai should only sit in jail while the world was still reeling from the mess he created. It wasn't fair.

/

Chem was sad to have to send some of his men out. They would miss the funeral; it wasn't exactly fair to them, but they understood and said they would pay their respects later. It was necessary for them to babysit the Fire Lord and his lover. It was part of the mission, and he felt vindicated when he'd been able to tell the group he believed the waterbender was seriously thinking over the proposal. It was worth it for the looks on Long's and Inara's faces alone. They always thought they knew better. They could not ignore the truth when it was in their faces.

Several people were busy arranging the bodies for burial, and Chem walked over to watch the preparation. Personal artifacts had been removed and the dead were laid out on the ground. As was the way of their people, they would be cremated, and if possible, their ashes would be returned to their families. If not, they would be scattered on their homeland. They may have been exiled in life, but they would not be denied in death.

"It is foolish to hope that death would never happen," Chem said to the assembled. "The spirits gave us the burden of life, and they also gave us the burden of death, but they do not make us walk alone. Those we send off today did not leave this world without making their mark. We would not be gathered here if they hadn't made that mark in each of our hearts and our minds. Their deaths were the deaths of soldiers during a war. Their deaths were the deaths of soldiers fighting for a just cause. Let us honor their memories in the best way we can."

He looked up at the sky for a measure. It was a bright, nearly cloudless day. A good day for sending spirits to Agni. They would not become lost or find their way impeded.

"Agni, guide them and keep them safe. Keep them so that we may see them again sometime, but not too soon."

One by one, he called off their names, and their bodies were burned. It was a long process, but no one moved or complained. Every now and then, one person or another would call out an amusing story they remembered, or something the deceased liked to do. The funeral dirge started up again, and their voices carried into the forest. Chem wished he had some incense to burn in their honor, but he had nothing. He would burn it later. They all stood in the camp and held vigil until the last of the ashes were gathered.

"For now, let us remember that the wheels are in motion." Chem said to them. "We will return home, and our nation will be glorious again. We may well see it in our own lifetimes."

After the funeral, the camp was speedily disassembled, and the clearing restored to the way it was when they first arrived. They mounted up, and began the march to the harbor, where they would board the ships that would take them out of the Fire Nation and back to relative safety in the anonymity of the million or so nameless, faceless travelers and refugees.

Long had questioned whether Chem wasn't taking things too far, being too paranoid. He couldn't let such doubts enter his mind. The Fire Nation had been hostile for too long, and he wasn't about to let his guard down just so Ozai's progeny could destroy it all again. He may blame his council for those things—holding the colonies hostage, harboring war criminals, lying about finances, denying aid to those in need—but _he_ was the Fire Lord. _He_ had ultimate control over everything. He was refusing to take responsibility for his action. The council acted on _his orders_.

The march to the docks was long and tiring, and they reached their ships by evening. They did not stop at the restaurants or the bars on the dock, simply getting on separate ships that would whisk them away to safety. Chem boarded a ship with Bo headed for Ba Sing Se. From there, they might go other places, but Ba Sing Se was a good start; it seemed to be the center of everything. They could be lost among the crowds.

"What if Master Katara had flat out refused to listen?" Long asked before Chem boarded

"The important thing is that she didn't. We cannot afford to indulge in what ifs. We must deal with what is."

Had things gone the other way, perhaps Chem wouldn't have said this, and he readily acknowledged this—silently. For the moment, things were on track. She would consider the offer, and when she realized the wisdom of his words, she would tell the people he'd put her in contact with. They would get word back to him, and his army would merge with the Fire Lord's army. They would integrate, but they would not be assimilated, they would not become one giant mush. They were still the petals gathered around the bud that was the Lady Mother Ursa, and they would answer to him, and he would answer to her, and the Fire Nation would be glorious again.

"And what makes you so sure that she'll take what you said to heart?" Inara challenged, grabbing Chem's sleeve when turned away. "It's written all over their faces that they don't trust you."

"Because," said Chem, his head held high. "It is in her very _nature_ to fight against the wrongs of this world. She will see to it that things are made right."

* * *

><p>AN: Just three more chapters before we switch gears and start trying to find our way home again. Chem's right about Katara, though. It is in her nature to fight against the wrongs of this world. Also, I tried to slip in a reminder of Chem's (political) problem with Zuko. For those that were a little confused, I hope that helps to clear it up. P.S. Zuko does attract the crazy. This is proven fact. *nods*


	16. Chapter 16

The journey from the coastal town to the capitol lasted nearly three days, and when they reached the palace, Zuko took off on his own, completely ignoring any plan to ditch Katara he might have had, and any insistent shouts guards might be sending after him. The heat and anger was building up inside of him. Not all of it was directed at Ozai; in fact, quite a bit was directed at Chem and his stupid smug face, and his pretending to know everything while divulging only a little. He was angry for having come all this way and found only broken dreams and blood stained walls. He was angry because he had his skull cracked open, and he'd been stupid and they both could have died. He was angry because that hair pin was heavy in his pocket, a burning reminder of everything she'd sacrificed for her son, and everything he couldn't give her. He was angry because Ozai still managed to wiggle out of punishment that was his by cosmic law.

"My lord?" the prison guard said, confused, when Zuko stopped at the front gates. "We didn't know you were back. We were just getting ready to serve lunch."

"Ooh, too bad. No lunch for him," Zuko said, clenching and unclenching his fists.

The guard must have noticed something strange in him, because he quickly called ahead and had them open all the security doors. Or it might have been Katara's alarmed screaming somewhere behind him, demanding that they take Ozai into protective custody. It could also have been all the weapons he had on him.

Too bad he was faster than she was, and reached the cell before she even made it to the maximum security ward. The guard outside Ozai's cell saw Zuko coming toward her at a rapid pace, and fumbled for the keys, throwing the door open before Zuko had time to break it down.

"Get up you little shit," Zuko yelled at Ozai.

"Look who's come to visit his dear old dad," Ozai said, sneering.

Zuko narrowed his eyes at his father. Ozai remained sitting on his bed, and Zuko couldn't help the anger that filled him. He was breathing steam through his nose, and Ozai sat there, sneering at him.

"Zuko, stop it!" Katara's voice rang down the hall.

"For every hurt you caused the Fire Lady Queen Mother Ursa, for every _injury_, for every time you put your fucking _hands_ on her…" Zuko growled. "If I find her and she is damaged beyond repair, if she is _so_ broken that she can never again be who she was…"

Ozai laughed. "What will you do? You'll do what you've always done. Sit there and take it."

Katara skidded into the cell. She grabbed Zuko's arm and began trying to pull him away.

"Your keeper thinks it's time for your nap, little boy." Ozai's eyes roamed over Katara. Zuko did _not_ like that.

"Ignore him, Zuko. He's just taunting you. You know this."

"You know, Ozai," Zuko said, removing his arm from Katara's grip, "it's funny. You've been chasing my mother for how long now? You _failed_ to find her. Just like every assassination attempt you and your stupid little supporters make. You _fail_ every time."

Ozai growled, and Zuko saw that he was gripping the mattress tightly. "You've proven harder to kill than the roaches that scurry across the floor of my cell."

"And don't forget it. You are quickly running out of supporters and assassins willing to risk their lives for you. Do you have so many friends that you can risk throwing them away?"

"The same could be said of you."

"In half the time, I've got twice the support. I've accomplished more that you could have—"

"All you've done is backtrack."

"And all you would have done is murder."

"And what did you do, boy, in that fight? I suppose you weren't slinging fire and tossing lightning about?"

"And I suppose you'll never do it again."

"Cut it out, both of you!" Katara stood between them, but she faced Zuko, one hand on his chest.

Ozai stared at him, and Zuko stared back. Either because he was a glutton for punishment or because he thought he was actually going to get some answers, Zuko had often come to talk to Ozai. Sometimes he left with the answers he needed, though not necessarily the ones he wanted. Sometimes they taunted each other, and right now, Zuko had so much anger and nowhere to direct it. Ozai was always the default.

Katara pushed against him, and Zuko allowed himself to be led out of the prison. He followed Katara, letting her lead him as a weight began to press down on his shoulders. Rather than taking them in through the front gates, Katara took them through the kitchen, and issued a terse order to the staff.

"Tell Minister Hau we'll be waiting for him in Zuko's office."

One of the newer cooks stepped right into their path, his arms crossed. He must not have noticed Zuko right behind her. Maybe he really didn't, because Zuko's hair was hanging in his face, obscuring his scar, and the guy was very new.

"You may be a master of your element, and an ambassador from your tribe, but you do not issue orders like you are our Fire Lady. Best friend, concubine, or lover, you don't run this palace."

The rest of the kitchen staff gasped and cowered behind various objects. They'd been there long enough, had seen Zuko enough, to be able to pick him out, even with his hair in his face. Katara was uncorking her waterskins, and Zuko was about to scold the cook, when his Head of Household Staff, Mistress Yina's voice came sharp and scalding.

"You will address Master Waterbender Lady Katara with nothing less than the utmost respect with which you address any member of the royal family." When the cook turned around, surprised, Yina continued. "You were not here the day our most esteemed Fire Lord Zuko declared the Avatar and his companions to be treated as family. If our lord deems them worthy enough to consider them family, then _royal_ family they shall be."

They didn't call her the Iron Maiden for nothing, even if she was married and had children. Yina walked around the cook, a tiny middle-aged woman with black hair, piercing black eyes, and her arms shoved in her sleeves. She bowed low to Zuko.

"If it pleases my lord, punishment shall be dealt swiftly and harshly for such an offense."

"See to it that it is," Zuko said through clenched teeth.

"I shall personally inform Minister Hau of your arrival. Fresh clothing will be laid out and a bath will be drawn at your convenience." Her eyes flicked secretly between the both of them, even though her head was still bowed.

Zuko adored Yina. He wasn't sure how she could have figured it out, but she knew about him and Katara. She'd never made any mention of their relationship, but would occasionally do things like leave an extra set of clothes for Katara in Zuko's room. Yina was his greatest ally in the palace, aside from Hau. If Hau was his right hand, then Yina was his left, and Zuko was the brain that controlled them both. He was later told that it was actually Yina who commandeered one of the nobility's houses for Zuko after the final battle when he was still unconscious. She'd also made people line up and swear fealty to his unconscious body, and had cared for the rest of the group when they were too numb to do anything for themselves. She was the master of secrets, and personally oversaw his reeducation and reintroduction to the court life. She was the only one to never mention his swearing.

When he was little, she also introduced him to his favorite desert—a sweet custard with a crunchy glazed sugar top—and made sure there was no shortage of them once he was Fire Lord. She bowed again and left the kitchen, gesturing for the cook to follow her and issuing orders for a light dinner to be prepared as she left. The staff sprang into action. Oil sizzled in pans, meat was brought out from the coolers, and from the sheer quantity of food they were gathering, Zuko saw he'd have to have a discussion with Yina about what 'light dinner' meant.

In his office, Zuko leaned back against the desk as Katara came to stand in front of him. She didn't say anything, and he was grateful for that. He'd just abandoned the quest for his mother when he was so close. He looked away from her, and she placed her hands on his folded arms. It wasn't fair. Everyone else got breaks, but here he was, still struggling for every little inch.

There was a knock at the door, and Katara took a few steps back from him.

"Chief of Staff, Minister Hau," Hau announced.

"Come in," Zuko said.

Hau came in, closing the door quietly behind him. He stood, taking them in, not saying anything, just looking remorseful. They probably made such a pretty picture, frazzled and downtrodden, hair wild and clothes rumpled. The longer he was back in the palace, the number he was beginning to feel. He'd let his mother down again. Hau came over to them.

"I trust nothing too bad happened? You are not hurt?" His eyes were moving across them both, scanning for any injuries.

"No. We're tired, but we're fine." Katara said, still facing Zuko.

"Shall I order tea?" Hau looked between them, not believing everything was fine.

"No," Zuko said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He gestured to the seat across from his desk. Hau sat, and Zuko went to sit at the window. "It was…a long, stressful trip."

Zuko gave Hau the abbreviated version, his voice flat, about how they'd gone on the scouting missions with Inara, and during the last one discovered that the prison was guarded by Ozai's Phoenix Brigade. He told about the two trackers who'd been looking for someone to show up saying Hau sent them, and how they'd been recognized. He told about meeting Atem, and about Gen and his mother, who said there was a contract he'd breeched, the whole episode at the inn seeming like so long ago.

Hau waved that one off. "Sila believes I agreed to an increasing pay rate the longer she worked with us. For a while, I considered it as a bonus for the risks she'd be taking, but when I found out that she was also drawing the same kind of money from the White Lotus, I backed down. What happened with the Phoenix Brigade?"

"I sent a message through Atem to the White Lotus for their extermination, but we'll have to cancel that. They're dead."

At Hau's shocked looked, Zuko recounted their infiltration, how the prison had been empty, how they'd met up with Chem and some Ursa supporters. How they'd so narrowly missed her, and now she's gone to ground again. He conveniently left out the part about finding her blood all over the room, and ignored Katara's insistent look. He would relive that enough in his dreams. He didn't need to see it again.

"Chem?" Hau looked confused. "Chem was your mother's secretary. He came with her as part of her house when she married Ozai."

"So he said, but I don't trust him. He's got a fucking army under his control."

"Nor should you trust him completely. Rest assured that Lady Ursa is safe, though," Hau said reassuringly, noting Zuko's terrified look. "I've _never_ liked that man. He was very…intense. Not pleasant to work with at all. He and Ozai never got along, and Chem would often overstep his bounds to aggravate him. Ozai banished him. He's taking a risk being on the outer islands." Hau was silent, clearly thinking over some things.

"Does Lily of the Valley mean anything to you?" Katara asked. "I know it's a very poisonous plant, but Chem used it like a code."

Hau smiled sadly and shook his head. "The Lily of the Valley is Lady Ursa herself." Hau turned to Zuko. "You should write your uncle about it. The story quite involves him." The three lapsed into silence.

"So now what?" Katara asked after a time. Hau looked to Zuko.

"I don't know," Zuko nearly whispered, feeling too drained to do much more. He rubbed his face and smoothed back his hair. "We get in touch with Chem's friends." He dug his old hair pin and the piece of paper Chem had given Katara out of a pocket.

Hau accepted the paper and stared at the names for a long time. "Did he tell you anything about these people?"

"Only that they could get us close to my mother."

Hau nodded slowly. "I will check them out. Are you sure you aren't hurt?" Hau frowned, looking between Zuko and Katara.

"Do you know what Chem calls her?" Zuko asked, redirecting the conversation. "Fire Lady Queen Mother Ursa."

Hau started. "I see. Technically, it is appropriate since she and your father were still married at the time of his coronation. Though she was never crowned, she would have been the Fire Lady. Now, things are a little…complicated."

He looked at Zuko and sighed. He shook his head and came to stand before the young Fire Lord, and Zuko knew that bad news was coming.

"Chem may well be the best lead we've had, but this army, and now this title… It concerns me. People do not raise armies for peace, not matter what they say. By naming her the Lady Mother, Chem is asserting _her_ right to some part of the throne, and in conjunction with this army, it is not out of the realm of possibility that he will push for it. Things are complicated because Ozai is not dead… He may try to exploit loopholes, deny your claim to the throne. But make no mistake, _you_ are Fire Lord. _You_ fought for that right; it is yours by birth, and by Agni Kai. That is who you are."

Zuko didn't like where this was going. Hau was gearing up one of his father-figure speeches, and while they often made Zuko feel better, or gave him advice he sorely needed, this wasn't shaping up so well. He looked at Katara, who was also closely watching Hau.

"What I would ask of you is not easy, Zuko."

Zuko's head snapped up. This was them, stripped of all titles, of all pretenses. This was Hau to Zuko, not Chief of Staff to Fire Lord, and it scared the _shit_ out of him. Already, he was shaking his head 'no,' and he didn't even know what was being asked of him.

"If I had known you kept this from your _friends_… Lady Toph had no idea what I was talking about when I told her you and Lady Katara had gone searching for your mother again. They could have helped you. She could have been home by now. You cannot continue this."

Zuko could only sit with his mouth open.

"The Fire Nation needs you _here_. Just as much as Aang is the Avatar and cannot neglect his duty, so you are the Fire Lord and cannot neglect yours." Hau paused, reached out to Zuko, then thought better of it. "_You_ are keeping this nation together right now. The Chem I knew was not loyal to the Fire Nation's royal family. He was loyal to Lady Ursa and Lady Ursa _alone_. Simply because he is loyal to your mother does not mean he is loyal to you, and with him bandying this title about…" Hau sighed heavily. "We cannot afford to lose you. Not now, not after all you've done to better the world."

It was like being punched in the stomach.

"You are the Fire Lord, and the Fire Lord… You take a week here, two weeks there… These things add up, and this nation is not so secure that it can have an absentee leader for so long. Rumors of likely riots in Ba Sing Se started a few days after you left. I wanted to send word to you, but by the time it would have reached the outer islands it wouldn't have mattered. You would still have missed an important vote. We can talk more about that later. You _must_ not keep this up, no matter how much you may want to."

Katara was saying something, protesting, angry, flailing about. He didn't even know what to think anymore, and so he didn't. He just cried because he was too tired, too beaten to do anything else. Katara was on him in seconds, hugging him and rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head and telling him that she'd never give up, that she intended to keep her promise, and that she would go to the ends of the earth to get Ursa back to him. It didn't really matter. It was like his mother was already dead to him. He'd done so much to get to her. All that digging and searching, no thanks to Ozai, and now he was _so_ close—there was someone willing to take him to her.

Hau wasn't trying to reason with him. He didn't try to lessen the pain or make excuses. The one person Zuko would have turned to was too many miles away, probably playing pai sho and drinking tea with his girlfriend at some tropical resort. As he usually did, Hau stepped in, rubbing Zuko's back as Katara cradled his head. He wrapped his arms around her.

When he was just sniffling, Hau left to make some arrangements, and Katara stayed with him until he was ready to go to his room.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?"

"Bawling like that. I shouldn't—"

"Oh, hush."

Zuko pulled back to take a look at Katara, and he saw that she had been crying, too. He reached up to wipe away the tears, then stood, pulling her into a hug.

"I'll help you find her."

"I can't ask you to do that. It's far beyond what I did for you."

Katara buried her head in his neck. "I was thinking that…maybe, if I found her, that maybe she'd want to be my mother, too." She wrapped her arms around his neck and played with the ends of his hair. "Do you think she would? You said she would like me."

"I don't see how she could resist." He rubbed his cheek on hers, then brushed his lips over hers. Katara pressed her lips against his, and he kissed her like that kiss would help him absorb all her strength, and he begged her to comfort him, to suck away his ache.

She was leaning into him, her hands running through his hair, keeping him from pulling back, even if he wanted air. He clamped his hands down on her hips, wanting to keep her from leaving. Afraid that she would leave. The anger was threatening to resurface, and he tried to lose himself in her pleasure, the softness of her lips and her hips and her body against his. He needed this.

Hau knocked at the door and announced himself, but Zuko didn't care who walked in to see them. His chest was heaving when they briefly pulled away for air, but he plunged back in before she was ready because he could feel that tickle against his eyes, and that heaving wasn't from lack of air, but the pain and guilt that gnawed at him. It was knowing that he failed again to find her, and with that guilt in place, it started to seep in that he'd done more than kill the 'bad guys,' and that he couldn't tell who the 'bad guys' were anymore, and that it was quite possible that he was one of them. A choked sob escaped him, and Katara only pulled him closer, stepped into him, wiped away the tears. She was solid, an anchor, a rock, and he tried to shove those dark images away because they were threatening to drown him and choke him because he'd killed people who were planning to help him.

His kiss was desperate and needy, and she answered every call and was willing to fulfill every need. Her hands were roaming over his arms now, giving up passion in favor of comfort and assurance. He hated being powerless and useless. This was not a problem his swords or his firebending could solve.

Hau was clearing his throat, and Zuko was nuzzling her neck, muttering violent things, and her voice cut through it all.

"Don't lose yourself."

He held her face in his hands, running his thumbs over her cheeks, and he told himself that if she could still stand to kiss him that he couldn't be bad. He kissed her again, thankful that she didn't shrink away from him.

"Perhaps," Hau said slowly, "someone would like to explain to me whether this is frustration, grief, or…something else."

This was the moment to do it. She was there, Hau was there and he was asking. If Zuko was serious about really marrying Katara, if the idea of being completely open and keeping _no_ secrets at all—not about the colonies, the nation's finances, the emezzlement, the assassins, the bargaining, the politics—didn't turn him into a coward, if he wasn't too much of a monster, he'd do it. He'd declare his love for her right then.

He hesitated. To look at the darkness in himself was one thing. To ask Katara to share it was something else.

The door practically flew off its hinges, and Zuko and Katara fell into bending stances, and Hau instinctively go out of their way. But it was only Toph. Toph with her perfect timing because that awkward pause had been broken, and the focus was no longer on him.

"Fuckin Agni, Toph! Have you ever heard of knocking?" Zuko ran his hands through his hair. His voice lacked a lot of emotion, even to his own ears, and he slowly sunk back onto the window seat.

"Yeah, I heard of it." Toph was digging in her ear, and Katara winced. Her attempts at getting Toph to use some manners were almost legendary. "Right. Anyway, you were about to tell Hau that you two have been playing house for the past three years, right?"

Zuko wanted to hug her and throw her out the window at the same time. First hurdle, done. Hau was looking at them, mouth open and struggling for words. Zuko felt bad. Guilt, again. At first, Hau had agreed with all the others that something was most definitely going on between Zuko and Katara, but through years of denial, he'd accepted that they _were_ just good friends, and now learning that he'd been right all along probably felt like betrayal. Hau gestured vaguely at them, then his shoulders slumped, and he practically fell into the chair he'd vacated when Toph made her entrance.

"I'm…I'm not sure what to say about any of this…"

"That's ok, you think on that," Toph said, not done with Zuko. She marched over to him and flung a finger in his general direction. "What I want to know is why you didn't tell us you've been looking for your mother."

Zuko tried not to look at her because she really did look hurt. She shifted her feet, and Zuko knew she was trying to read him, so he thought about something else, even though it wouldn't fool Toph. He looked to Katara and Hau, but they weren't saying anything. They weren't going to rescue him from this. Katara had voiced her dislike on the issue several times, but she'd been respectful of his wish, and eventually dropped the subject. It had been a long day, and he didn't have the resolve to keep fighting.

"I do…I do…love her," Zuko said, addressing Hau first. "She means a lot to me, and if it's possible, I don't want to be without Katara. And I didn't say anything, Toph, because I knew everyone would want to come, and it's not your problem. It's not your burden to carry."

Toph punched him in the shoulder, but it wasn't one of her good-natured, friendly punches, such that punches can be friendly.

"And the war was our burden?" She punched him again, and Zuko was sure she was punching him for the hell of it. "Things aren't going well for you right now, and since you need to be here, you need our help. I'll write to Aang first—"

"No, you can't—" Another punch.

"—and see if he can't pick up her trail. Don't worry, I won't mention anything about you and Sugar Queen. I want to see those fireworks in person. Then I'll have Sokka and Suki do some sniffing around, too." Another punch. "You'll have your mom back in no time." Another punch.

"Stop punching me!"

Toph's odd affection had a way of making you feel better. Or maybe it was the physical pain taking attention away from the emotional one. Zuko slumped back against the window and just concentrated on breathing. Too much was happening too quickly, and while having his friends near was something of a consolation, he just wanted to rest and not throw up.

Hau looked completely exhausted. He was massaging his temples, and Zuko made a mental note to send the guy on vacation as soon as possible.

"Next time you have a secret mission, Sparky, remember that your girlfriend isn't the only friend you have."

* * *

><p>AN: This one's a doozy. Emotionally and length wise. So here's that much needed reality check for Zuko. You're the Fire Lord. You don't have the luxury of gallivanting around the world at will. My favorite part of this chapter was writing Toph's opening lines. Her entrance was epic and needlessly loud, and yeah, she's heard of knocking. What of it?

Politically speaking, since Ozai's not dead, I imagine it could be a sticky political situation. I haven't made up my mind on whether being a firebender is a requirement for the throne, or if it's one of those things where that's what people do, but it's not law. So even if Chem can't put Ursa on the throne using some loophole, there is still the very real possibility that he would have her take up the duties of Fire Lady and push more into the political realm, whispering into Zuko's ear to influence policy. Then he could have two people pushing Zuko to do what _he_ wants.

This chapter contained a kind of emotional peak of the story, but also a bit of promise of hope for the future for Zuko and Katara. So it's out there (thanks, Toph -_- ), and now they can begin making moves toward a public relationship. And the world rejoices. Three chapters to go!


	17. Chapter 17

Zuko stared at the patterns on the mural on the ceiling of the bathroom, done in a delicate ceramic tile to represent the early morning sun. He focused on counting the red tiles. Then the blue ones. Then only a specific shade of red, something between red and orange, but that only got him caught up in determining the color of the tiles. He decided that would be better than merely counting, and set about trying to name the different colors. Red, light red, reddish something something, darker red than the light red. Red that only looks different because it's between a red and an orange tile. That's when he decided his eyes must be tired, and he should go to bed.

"Zuko?"

He tilted his head back until he could see Katara standing in the doorway in one of his sleeveless red shirts that tied at the waist. Under different circumstances, he would have found the way the shirt barely came down past her hips alluring. He would have found the cleavage peeking out irresistible. She was drying her hair with a towel, clearly having ignored the blue nightgown Yina set out for her.

"Mistress Yina brought food."

"I'm not hungry."

"You should eat something before you go to bed."

He turned away from her and sunk further into the bath. He closed his eyes and thought about his breathing.

"I know what I should," he said softly, "but right now I just want."

She left him alone, and he sat in the steaming tub for another hour before finally getting out. He dried off, put on some pants, and stepped into his bedroom. Katara was sitting on the bed, absently munching at the food and staring off into space.

"Did you mean what you said?" Zuko asked.

"Every word of it. But which part in particular?"

"About wanting her to be your mom."

She looked away from him, and he noticed the bottle of wine sitting on the bedside table. He inspected it, sighed, then put it back in the liquor cabinet. He fished around until he found something stronger.

"She can't replace my mom. No one can." Katara watched Zuko open the bottle and pull out two cups. "I was just hoping that…maybe she'd…you know, be another mother. Like I'd have two mothers. You have your uncle, and Dad's kind of taken you in, so you've got two father figures. Maybe I can have two mother figures."

Zuko downed his glass in one gulp, then poured himself a second.

"What is this stuff?" Katara asked, smelling it.

"Vodka."

Katara sipped hers, and Zuko ate a bit, but he could only stomach so much. He would only have one day to sort himself out before he would don the mantle and the crown and be the Fire Lord again. He'd have to bow out of this adventure forever, and he wouldn't even have the pleasure of greeting her first. After all he'd done, that honor would belong to someone else.

When they'd eaten their fill, Katara moved the tray to the anteroom and climbed into bed with Zuko. He pulled her close to him and buried his face in her hair. He sniffled a bit, but was done crying. Katara held him tightly, then cradled him against her chest. The Fire Lord was not allowed to cry.

That night, he dreamed that he was in the prison again, inside Ozai's cell, driving his fist into the man's face over and over and over. Bone and muscle and skin gave way, and when Ozai tried to fight back, Zuko punched him hard in the stomach. Ozai was no real fighter. His only skill was his bending, and Zuko _gloated_ in knowing he had finally had the upper hand, not even bothering to stop the sneer that unfolded. He was better than Ozai, because even without his bending, Zuko would have his swords and his fists. Zuko would never, could never, be defenseless, and Ozai was just some helpless little shit too proud to understand that he didn't deserve to have the world kneel to him. Zuko made Ozai's blood splatter, coloring the brick walls a bright red. This was his sacrifice to his mother.

Unattached hands were pulling at him because he knew giving in to his anger like this was dangerous, that restraint would get him more than anger, but he pushed them off. Zuko was determined to beat the fight out of Ozai the same way Ozai had done with him when he was little, only Zuko intended to be physical while Ozai had been verbal. Old memories mixed with the violence. Nothing was ever good enough for him, and at first Ozai thought it was Zuko's teachers, and when Ozai began to teach him personally, he decided it was his worthless son. Zuko's fists sparked, because he remembered the time Ozai turned his rage, not on his eight-year-old son, but on his wife, accusing her of all sorts of vile things, of sleeping around because no child of his could be that pathetic. And she stood and took the abuse. From the moment he was born, she'd taken Ozai's shit. She paid for it because Ozai was arrogant and stupid and had a mind only for conquest, not for his children or his wife. They were just more things to be conquered.

A weight tried to hold him down, guilt tried to creep into his consciousness. Ozai was bloody and bruised. Zuko reached down to his inner fire and brought it up, spewing it in a huge jet toward Ozai, determined to prove his worth, determined to show Ozai that he was no weak, pathetic _thing_. Now it wasn't enough to just hurt Ozai, Zuko wanted him _dead_, and it was such a firm, concrete goal in his mind, that he reached out, grabbed Ozai's arm and burned him. Zuko burned him through the fabric, right down to the skin, and he struggled to free his other hand so he could make Ozai stop screaming forever. An image, long suppressed came unbidden to his mind, of his father standing over him, a pillow in his hands, looking down at that pathetic waste of seed that could not be his because that _whore_ had to have spread her legs for some lesser man. Ozai had reeked of fire whisky as he put the pillow over Zuko's face. He couldn't breathe. It was too strong, something was pressing down on his chest, but he could still smell Ozai burning, flesh falling away.

Zuko awoke with a start, flinging the covers off him, coated in sweat and yet freezing cold and shivering, and he felt dizzy and nauseous.

"Zuko? Zuko, are you alright?"

He shoved Katara off him and ran for the bathroom, and he threw up. He was lying to himself if he pretended to believe in that whole 'good guys, bad guys' tripe. He'd killed people. He'd giving in to his anger and his desperation and his rage, and he became Ozai. When he was fighting in that prison, when he ignored Katara's words, when he acted without thinking, he was Ozai, and in his dream, he'd been Ozai, even as he tried to murder his own father.

Katara was trying to get him to drink water, but he couldn't stand the thought of anything going in his stomach when he wasn't sure that stuff was done coming out of it.

"It's ok, I'm here." She as pulling him into her arms, stroking his head, and he didn't realize he was shaking until Katara tried to pin his arms down.

The violence of the dream scared him. It felt _so_ real, and he halfway expected to see blood on his hands. Katara was rocking him, kissing his head, whispering things to him, and he focused on her words, and slowly, he drifted back to reality.

"What happened?" she asked once he calmed down, taking his face in her hands.

"A… I had…" Zuko swallowed. "I dreamed I was beating Ozai… I think he tried to smother me when I was a kid…"

"Tui and La…" Katara pulled him into a hug, and they stayed that way, holding each other on the floor, until Zuko felt more stable, until the world around him was concrete and real.

"What if I'm becoming him?"

"There is no way you could ever become Ozai." Katara kissed his scar. "Despite all the things Chem may believe about you, I know the truth. I know your heart, Zuko. You're my little polar leopard—"

"I'm your what now?"

Katara smiled and stood, offering him her hands. Zuko let her lead him back to the bed. She collected a comb and a brush from the vanity, and perched behind Zuko. Where he was sitting, he could see them both clearly in the mirror across from the bed.

"You're my polar leopard," Katara said, combing his hair. "People look at you and know to keep their distance yes, but those who know how to approach you find that you're fiercely loyal. You're a pack animal, and your family is your pack. You work well with us, but if people try to harm the pack, or get in your way, you tear them to shreds."

Zuko reached up to make her stop playing in his hair, but she only draped her arms across his shoulders, her cheek touching his. He looked at their reflection in the mirror. They still looked exhausted, but Zuko suspected that wouldn't be going away for a long time. Katara's face was soft and kind, as it always was. He kept his eyes trained on the mirror as he brought his hand to her cheek, caressing her soft skin. She closed her eyes and sighed happily.

"Kitten…"

Katara kissed his jaw, and for the first time, Zuko tasted the word in his mouth. Wife. Wife Katara. _His_ wife. She picked up the brush and ran it lazily across his hair.

"You have such pretty hair, Zoozie."

The strands dropped randomly around his face, and Zuko stiffened. Katara pulled away from him, her hands resting on his shoulders. His scar was mostly covered, and it looked very much like Ozai was in the Fire Lord's bed. With Katara.

"Stop it, Zuko." Katara grabbed his arm when he tried to get away. "You're always so quick to look and see Ozai—"

"Because I _look_ like him!" Zuko said, gesturing toward the reflection he wouldn't recognize as himself.

"And Sokka looks like Dad, and we all have that moment where we look in the mirror and see our parents—"

"Yes, but your dad isn't some…homicidal maniac!"

Katara huffed and came to stand in front of Zuko. She ran her hands over his chest, and down his arms, taking his hands in hers.

"You're just feeling vulnerable right now, Zuko. You're so quick to look for your father in you. Why don't you ever look for your mother?"

Zuko shrugged, and Katara pulled him back to the bed. She continued to brush and comb his hair, and he let her, trying to call up more pleasant thoughts. Katara was always a pleasant thought. He liked when she massaged his scalp like that. She'd abandoned the comb and brush to just run her hands through his hair. It would be even better if she were a firebender, because then she'd be able to heat her fingers while she did it. Slowly, he found himself relaxing into her touch.

"What would I do without you?" he asked quietly.

"Probably explode into a cloud of negativity and brooding thoughts."

Zuko laughed, turning to pull Katara across his lap. "Thank you," he said, nuzzling her neck.

"Zoozie? Did you mean what you said about us and spending the rest of our lives together?"

"Of course, Kitten. I'd rather not be a cloud of negativity and brooding thoughts."

It was weird to confess that. To be so blunt about it. To talk about it as if it would actually happen. And why shouldn't it? Other people got to marry because they were happy and in love, so why not him? Oh, that's right. Because he was the Fire Lord, and he had responsibilities, which he'd blown off to spend time with his secret lover, whom he hoped would be his wife…

"Stop it, Zuko." She knew his moods so well. "Tell me we can stop this, soon."

"We can stop doing this soon. We'll be married, and you'll be a bride second only to my mother."

"Second? Why do I have to be second?" Katara sat up in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist. She kissed his neck and started braiding a section of his hair.

"I didn't think you wanted that kind of spectacle. I saw her wedding dress, and it would take days just to get in all of that. Don't even get me started on the hair ornaments. And all the red, and the flowers. Uncle said she upstaged his own wedding just with her appearance."

"I want the biggest spectacle there is, Zuko. I want to be a Fire Lady like no other."

* * *

><p>AN: A little fluff before Zuko gets another reality check. I'd always planned for Zuko to get that last one. It's so very Zuko to try and do things on his own, thinking it's his responsibility or his problem, and that no one should have to suffer because of it, but he's still got to remember he's very much needed at home. No matter how calm things might be when he's there, the Fire Nation is still full of opportunists. Anywhoo, witness the birth of another stupid Katara nickname. The idea the Zuko looks like Ozai came from the episode where he got sick and started hallucinating. Avatar Extras said that Ozai is the unscarred evil faces of Zuko, so I took that and ran with it. Zuko looks like his father. Not so bad when you're Sokka and your father is Hakoda. Kinda unsettling when you're Zuko and your father is Ozai.

And, once again, it's time for my reminder that this is a two part story. I just don't want anyone to be surprised that it doesn't wrap up nicely after this. On the same day I post chapter 19, I'll post chapter 1 of Finding My Way Home. There are a few reasons for the separation, the main one being that Finding My Way Home quickly became something very different from The Chase. It became less about hunting and more about settling in and and finding where you belong, so it differs thematically. Also, big changes in narration style. So...yeah.


	18. Chapter 18

This was all the break he'd get. One day to sort out his emotions and then he'd have to go back to being Fire Lord. After last night's dream, all the sleep that didn't happen, and promises of marriage to Katara, it felt like an insurmountable task to return to being Fire Lord and put all this behind him. Zuko leaned back against a moon peach tree in the small grove planted outside the kitchen. The fruit made the air sweet and fragrant, and outside of the turtleduck pond, it was his favorite place, and his favorite fruit and scent.

But now there were people coming, disrupting his peace. He opened his eyes and watched Katara and Toph come toward him. Katara smiled and waved, but her smile was strained, and Zuko had half a mind to walk away from them and put a locked door between him and whatever news they had. There'd been enough disappointment for him already, and now they would ask him to deal with more.

"Sugar Queen and I have been talking," Toph said, plopping down across from him. "Maybe it's a good thing that you've been grounded. She told me about this Chem character—"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Katara lowered herself next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not listening," he said before she had the chance to say anything.

"What's your deal?" Toph squeaked out, shooting a finger in his direction. "Look, lie to Hau all you want, but I know the truth. The moment he turns his back, you're bolting out of this place so fast—"

"She's my mother, I won't abandon her!"

See, they'd done it again. Zuko had restarted his project of waking up and not being pissed, and the day had started well. He felt drained, lonely without Katara, a little achy, and maybe like someone was kicking him while he was down, but overall, he couldn't exactly say he was pissed. Then Toph and Katara had to come along and ignore him. It hurt too much, it was still too soon. He wanted to just wallow in a bit of grief and melancholy for a while, but they were determined to not let him.

"We're not asking you to abandon her," Katara said soothingly. Her hand was still on his shoulder, and she was trying to guide him to lay his head on her shoulder. "Zuko, you don't have to keep doing this on your own."

"I'm not on my own," he said, hating his voice for cracking. The Fire Lord does not cry. He took in a shaky breath.

"Look, Zuko, we're your family." Hesitantly, Toph grabbed his hand and held it. It was such an intimate gesture for her. "You don't get to pick and choose when you have family. We're here for you, all the time."

"So Sokka seems fond of reminding me."

"Then stop with the jerkbending and let us help. Or don't you trust us?"

He waited a few beats. "Of course I trust you."

Toph made an indignant noise that was worthy of Katara-rage and threw down his hand. She reared back and punched him for real in his shoulder.

"How dare you! You don't trust us!"

"It's not that simple, Toph!" Zuko rubbed his shoulder. That really, really hurt. She might not have grown much in the past three years, but she hit even harder, if that was possible. "It's not a trust thing…"

"Then what is it?"

"It's mine, ok. This is my job. I'm supposed to be the one to find her. She's my mother. I promised…"

He looked at Katara, hoping she would understand, but she said nothing. She was giving him that strained smile, and she pat his cheek a few times, but she wasn't going to say she understood. Maybe she didn't. Sometimes there were things a person had to do alone. He decided to try a different tactic.

"If I had brought you Yan Rah's head," Zuko said to Katara quietly, "would you have felt that you had your revenge?"

Katara looked startled, caught off guard by the question. Perhaps she did understand, which was why she didn't often scold him for not letting their friends know about the quest. She started to fidget the longer he looked at her, and finally she turned away.

"No. No, I suppose not."

"Look, Zuko, people are afraid there will be riots in Ba Sing Se," Toph said, her finger inches from his face. He didn't think he liked her using their real names as much. "Hau told you, and I'm going to tell you again. You _are not_ allowed to leave the Fire Nation. Not now. Who's going to protect the Earth Kingdom when the riots start? There was a huge meeting while you were playing secret ninja, and your council jumped down Hau's _throat_ because they knew that he knew where you were. And he wasn't telling."

"How do you know all this?"

"Because I was there. Hau asked me to come, hoping I could put in a few well placed words at Gaoling, or maybe speak with Aang, because right then, I was the best they could do. And I'm a fifteen year old girl with no desire for real political power."

She crossed her arms and sat, and the three were quiet. Zuko's shoulders slumped, and he gave in, resting his head on Katara's shoulders. Toph and Hau were right. He had a country to run, and he was the Fire Lord, and he should be the one making all the important decisions. It just…_hurt_ so much to feel like he was letting her down.

"If I had known things were this bad," Katara said, stroking his hair gently, "I would have tried to convince you we should wait, but I've spent too much time on a boat, lately. I don't get the news as quickly as I should."

She kissed his forehead, and he took another shaky breath. He wanted his uncle. He was messing everything up. Again. Like he'd always done.

"None of us knew. It happened in the span of three or four days. It's pretty clear that Ba Sing Se needs help. No one thought tensions would get so high so quickly. The upper class is demanding the gates between the rings be closed and locked. But don't worry, Sparky. I've got a plan that will work around you having to stay in the capitol. It starts with you making it known that you've given your mother up for dead—"

"What? No!" He sat upright, but Katara was pulling him down again, making soft cooing noises like he was a baby, and he hated it for working. He wasn't weak and feeble; he could manage more than one thing at a time. Mostly.

"Shh, shh." She was rubbing his head again, which she knew he found relaxing. "You don't trust Chem, I don't trust Chem, but it's clear that he trusts _me_. If everyone else can use make these situations work for them, then why not us? This is the _only_ reason he exists to me. Whatever else he may say, Zuko, my loyalty is to you."

"Yeah. You know that no matter what, we side with you." Toph punched the ground a bit. "Besides, maybe we can even find a way around this Chem man. Oh, and don't worry about telling us that we shouldn't bother. I've already sent out a bunch of letters."

"What? What the hell, did anyone even think I should know about this?"

"Shh, Zoozie." Katara was petting him again. "If we told you first, you would say no."

"I hate you both."

"No you don't," Toph said, giving him one of her affectionate punches. "If you did, you wouldn't let her call you something stupid like that."

Katara giggled softly, and Zuko groaned. There were three people in the entire world he would rather never find out the stupid nicknames Katara called him: Toph, Hakoda, and Uncle. In that order.

"So, what did the council decide while I was away?"

Toph shifted uncomfortably. She poked holes in the ground. "You haven't talked to Hau about it?"

"Not yet. We're meeting later today."

Toph covered her ears, shook her head. "If Ba Sing Se breaks out in riots, they wanted to know what they should do. You know, if a defense army is organized to stop the fighting…should the Fire Nation send soldiers to help…"

"And?"

Toph flat out turned her back to him, and Zuko's stomach dropped. There was no way he'd be able to justify his actions to himself, now. Not with Toph avoiding the answer like that, because Toph was almost _always_ straightforward. She only did this with bad news. He touched her shoulder.

"What did they decide?"

"No. The majority voted no, and the only person who could overturn that ruling was gone."

It was official. The universe still hated him.

* * *

><p>AN: And so Zuko's reality check _really_ hits home. A bit more Toph Love wouldn't hurt either. I've kinda thought that if any place was going to have some real trouble after the war, it would be Ba Sing Se. At least the Fire Nation's problems are out in the open, and there were some people who would oppose the war. In Ba Sing Se, though, it was total oppression, and I figure people would be _very_ wary of the government. I also think Kuei would be a rather weak king-Long Feng kept him oblivious to things, and while Kuei did show a bit of strength and intelligence on his own when Long Feng was deposed, he's facing a rather steep learning curve. I don't believe Iroh would let Zuko go without continuing to teach him about the nation and how to be a good leader (even if those teachings were hidden under something else...like pai sho, maybe?). Plus, he would have Iroh at his side to help him along the way. Kuei could get help from his generals, but I got the impression that they were more focused on the war rather than governing the city. _That_ was all Long Feng.


	19. Chapter 19

_Dearest nephew,_

_I am, in fact, alive. I haven't been ignoring your letters. Things are just hectic in Ba Sing Se at the moment. You don't have to hop on the next airship to come see me, and it would be best that you don't. Some do not speak your name charitably right now, but I will get to that momentarily._

_I haven't replied to your request to know about the Lily of the Valley because it is a difficult story. It is not just your mother's story, but mine and your father's as well. Those were different times, and we were all different people, especially your father, and I don't want you to think less of your mother and I because of it. You have always had a difficult relationship with your father, and I'm not sure how you'll react to some of the things I tell you. Many of these things will shock you because of their tenderness. Yes. Your father knew how to be tender, at least for a few brief months, and in his own way._

_This is not an easy letter to compose, and you being exceptionally vague about your reasons for wanting to know do not put my mind at ease. I've put off writing this specific letter because I'm not sure how to relate things to you. Ultimately, it is my decision that what you ask is not suitable for letters. Far too many trees will be killed, too may hawks with too large a burden to carry between Ba Sing Se and the capitol. Too much emotional weight._

_I'm coming to the Fire Nation, and I will tell you in person. But before I do, I want you to think very hard and carefully, and as clearly as you can about the price of this information. You know that I am not the man I always was, and the same is true of your mother. You know but little pieces of our lives, and what you ask will change your view of us. I do not know that I am ready to have you hate me._

_To speak with you about your mother is not the only reason I am coming to the capitol. As I'm sure you've heard, there are riots in Ba Sing Se. The public is calling for Kuei to step down, and greed already glints in the eyes of some nobles of the upper ring. Kuei has no wife, no heirs, no prospects, though I can assure you, if the gossip that floats through my little tea shop is any indicator, he is a more sought after catch even than you. The Fire Nation is strong, still has some wealth and resources, and would be a powerful position for any aspiring family, but you, nephew, are a true leader. You run your country, as you should. Kuei, on the other hand, doesn't have a clue what he's doing. He was a figurehead for Long Feng, and unless something can be done, he will be a figurehead for his wife._

_Aang is here quite often, but his knowledge of politics and political intrigue is nearly as extensive as Kuei's. In their desperation, the Council of Five has even come to me for advice on how to instruct Kuei, since the Fire Nation political system isn't that far from the Earth Kingdom's. The great fear, however, is that with Kuei out of the way and no clear candidates other than second and third cousins, civil war will start with Ba Sing Se, then the other kingdom-states will become involved, each trying to place their favored candidate on the throne. Kuei has Aang's backing, and for the moment, it appears that it is keeping the sabretooth moose lions at bay. The Council of Five is taking no chances, though. The moment rioting broke out, Long Feng was taken into protective custody, presumably to keep anyone from trying to put him on the throne. Where he is and how long he will be there, I have no clue. The Council of Five is keeping this as quiet as possible._

_A defense force is being raised. Soldiers arrived from Gaoling late last week, and some warriors from the South showed up yesterday. Word has it that even Arnook is sending soldiers to help keep the peace, and many take this as a good sign that he is not quite willing to isolate the North to protect his people._

_Nephew, I know I said that I would stay out of your political decisions, and that I would not try to influence you, but the question is being asked of me almost daily. Where are the Fire Nation soldiers? Every nation is represented except ours, and even if you sent 800 soldiers, it would make a big difference. While fighting is expected in the city itself, the concern is that it might spread into outlying municipalities, and that the problem might be too big for the city watch and the defense force. It is no secret that the Fire Nation still has the largest armed force amongst the nations._

_They question why you won't even send a few hundred men to guard your own uncle. They say you have abandoned me, and this hurts me more than the words they sling at our nation in their frustration. I know you have not abandoned me. I know you have not abandoned your mission of restoring peace and balance to the world. I tell them that you must have your reasons for not sending help, and they say they hope this is true._

_I have been asked to plead with you for aid. I am hesitant to do so, but Ba Sing Se has become home to Jun and I for the past three years, and I would hate to see it torn apart. We will be leaving a little early for our summer stay at the Fire Nation branch of the Jasmine Dragon. Perhaps from there, we will see about opening one in the South, though Jun keeps insisting that she doesn't want any part of the business._

_I am concerned for you, Zuko. I hope things are not going so poorly at home that you cannot spare a little aid to those who helped us when we were down._

_With much love,_

_Uncle Iroh_

.O.

There was a strong wind at the docks that plastered Zuko's hair on his head, keeping it away from his face. He stood with his hands in his pockets, waiting for the ship on the horizon to grow bigger. He did not wear his crown or the Fire Lord's mantle. He stood there, not as Fire Lord, but as Zuko, though there were months at a time when the two were inseparable, no matter how hard he tried to hold on to his old identity. Zuko had gone on a dangerous mission looking for his mother with his best friend, a young girl named Katara, and Zuko had made promises to Katara, promises that should have come from the Fire Lord. Zuko could have gotten himself killed, and suffered a serious injury—if his skull had fractured in the wrong way, a shard of bone could have pierced his brain. Zuko was making decisions the Fire Lord needed to make.

He'd written to his uncle two days after he and Katara had returned, and the reply didn't come until two months later. The first skirmish between the public and the bureaucracy of Ba Sing Se came a few days after he'd been back. A mid-level government official in charge of organizing documents had been attacked as he made his way through the middle ring. City guards came to his aid in time, and the man suffered only a broken arm, but the call had gone out for aid, and others had answered.

For a time, Zuko wrestled with whether he should send a response, or if it would be better for him to remain silent. He could not admit the truth: that he'd thrown off his office in order to go cavorting around in a forest with his secret lover in the hopes of finding his lost mother. That, despite having vast resources at his fingertips, he insisted on doing this mission alone for personal reasons. Zuko had personal reasons. Zuko was allowed to have personal reasons.

The Fire Lord was not.

The ship that was carrying Iroh and Jun to the Fire Nation grew larger. He could see the steam rising from the chimney stack, a genius invention dreamed up by Sokka, and realized with the help of the Mechanist. Zuko squinted into the sunlight, but did not move to shield his eyes.

He wondered if his uncle would notice the way things weighed heavily on him now, the gravity with which he considered every decision. He wondered how easily his uncle would be able to tell that he hadn't been sleeping, that the dreams had started again, and that guilt for the dead and the wounded made it impossible for him to eat. Dead that Zuko created. Wounded that Zuko created. There was no refuge from this. Becoming the Fire Lord did not change things. He wondered how quickly his uncle would notice that he was barely keeping his head above the waters on some days.

Zuko regulated his breathing, closed his eyes and turned his face to the sun. Felt its warmth on his skin. He locked those memories away because they could do him no good now. Not now. Now, he needed strength.

What the Fire Lord would do in the coming months would not make his council happy. He would defy them. He had that power. He was already looking through old documents, finding the original boundaries given to the council, figuring out how to reinstate them, what would work, what wouldn't work. The council was created as an advisory body. It is impossible for one man to know the entirety of every subject related to governing a nation, and there was no shame in turning to those who possessed specialized knowledge.

He would have to levy heavier taxes on the richest tier to force them to hand over critical amounts of money to buffer what would be lost in the sending of aid to Ba Sing Se, and he would have to wait for that money to accumulate. The council would never agree to that tax since several of them would be among those receiving a heavier tax. While allowing the council to make some big decisions worked before, it would not work now. He needed control. He needed that ultimate power to do what needed to be done.

"Remember that part about growing up where we realized it's ok to ask for help?" Toph had asked him one morning. "You let all sorts of other stuff fly out your mouth. Maybe 'help' needs to be one of them."

She had slammed the door to his office, and he had continued reading over financial and military and production reports.

In all honesty, there were things the Fire Lord could be doing that were a bit more important than waiting for his uncle on the docks. But he needed to breathe and to think. Firebending practice was for when he didn't want to think. The ocean was for when he did. After three years at sea doing the deepest thinking and making some of the toughest decisions he'd ever made, water was a good place for him to think. He contemplated stepping into the surf, but the guards who were with him would probably panic. He did not want them to panic.

So he waited and smelled the sea and listened to the call of the albatross and thought. Before he made too many decisions, he needed to consult with someone who'd been in Ba Sing Se, had seen and heard things for himself. He needed to know if the situation was as dire as everyone made it out to be, if there weren't things the Fire Lord could do to help beyond sending people with swords and firebending. It would be too much like the Siege of Ba Sing Se or the coup that actually captured the city. These were only temporary measures. Ba Sing Se would need help for years to come.

The ship was bigger, and the Fire Lord frowned. Whoever his uncle had been, whoever his mother had been, he could not hate them. They were the ones to love and protect Zuko so that he could become Fire Lord. They taught Zuko forgiveness and affection and kindness so that the Fire Lord may use these things in his rule. He was slowly beginning to understand the importance of balance; his uncle's and his mother's histories were his history. There was darkness and there was light. There was balance, and he needed to know himself.

The bells on the dock rang to signify the arrival of a ship. The wind stopped blowing and Zuko's hair settled around his face. He left it, ruffled as it was. People swarmed the docks, eager to see loved ones and get news from Ba Sing Se. They chattered amongst themselves. Some criticized the Fire Lord's refusal to send aid. Some said he'd made the right choice, that no one would send aid to the Fire Nation if they asked. These were joined by a third group who said it was Ba Sing Se's own fault for having a worthless king, that Kuei should be deposed. Everyone had an opinion, and it was like listening to his council all over again.

Zuko closed his eyes and breathed in the salty smell of the ocean that sometimes stung his nostrils. Someone bumped into him, blamed him for it, even though he was standing still.

For the first time in years, he thought of Mai without prompting from Ty Lee or his council. She had always known that Zuko was different from the Fire Lord, and had a tendency to look at him like she wasn't quite sure who he was whenever he wore the crown and the mantle. He used to spend minutes staring at himself in the mirror, trying to see what she saw.

If he looked at his reflection now, he'd see the difference in an instant. Riots in Ba Sing Se taught him one of the most important lessons of his life:

No matter who else Zuko wanted to be, he was the Fire Lord, first and foremost. He had a duty to perform, and nothing would stop him.

* * *

><p>Dearest readers! Thank you for sticking with this story, even through some bumps. You've made it all the awesome that it is! Each review made me smile and encouraged me and pushed me to do greater things. You have reached the end of The Chase.<p>

I wanted to use this to transition into a new theme of growing up and accepting responsibility and our Gaang beginning to settle into the people they would probably be for the rest of their lives. The weight of his actions is beginning to press against Zuko; it's still too soon after the war for something like the Fire Nation's lack of response to be treated so lightly. The big thing, though, is that Zuko realizes this, and he takes steps to correct it. He sees that, while the council having a lot of power might have worked before, it won't work now, and a change must be made. The Fire Nation isn't so financially secure after the close of its main industry (war) that he can do without the financial support of many of the nobles, so there's a bit of political maneuvering that needs to be done before he can send aid. He's also thinking about the long run-while sending help now might be fine and dandy, they'll end up repeating this scene over and over until Kuei gets some power, or at least a powerful wife who's got the country's best interests at heart (for real, not in a Long Feng kind of way).

Highlights from Uncle's story about himself, Ursa, and Ozai in their younger years will make an appearance in Finding My Way Home, but for a full, detailed version, take a gander at Lily of the Valley, now completed!

Thank you, lovely readers, again, for sticking with me through this!


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